Carey Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Most of ya'll know my husband was a jet engine specialist on the F-15e. I grew up military with a strong military background and a healthy love for all things airplanes. Chad was EXTREMELY proud of what he did. We have not had an air show for 2 (maybe 3?) years because of funding. We are having a HUGE one here at SJAFB this weekend and I have plans to go with my kids and my friends. I've been excited about it, because it's been a long time. In addition to the thunderbirds being here, our own "show" team of F-15 strike eagles. Every single one of the planes in our fleet, all four squadrons ... Chad has worked on at least once. So when they fly it's always bittersweet. I look up and know his hands have been on them. I've been excited ALL flipping week until today ... I'm at work and the thunderbirds have flown over a few times and now I'm getting sad. The last Air Show we went to was with Chad. He took Jake in the cockpit of a 15. The sounds, the vapor trails (some day I'll tell THAT story lol), all of it is just SO SO SO very Chad and I am achingly missing him today. I'm sitting in my cubicle at work staring out the window and can't stop the tears and it's silly for something like this to just cut me off at the knees like it has. And I HAVE to go, the kids are so looking forward to it. I just want him back. I don't want to go without him. There shouldn't be a world with F15s and no chad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tableforone Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Oh Carey, His hands having touched all those planes. How could you not be filled with emotion over that? Just imagining it made MY eyes well up. Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 One breath at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max2507 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The thought of it is one thing, the actual sight and sound of it, I can see how that would trigger a lot of emotions. But getting an early exposure to it may help you at the actual event. I find when I have a really loosing it day or two, then I feel better. I hope it works that way for you, let the tears flow now so at the airshow you can focus on enjoying it and his legacy with the airplanes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I've had to put myself in a few situations not unlike what you describe above. For what it is worth, while there is often fall out (even now), generally going to things like this have given me a sense of empowerment. I am still standing; the world still turns on its axis. Sometimes it is even healing, allowing me to put to rest fears and anxieties that were toxic. I agree that the build up is often the worst part. Be brave! It is ok to cry. Hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Carey, it's not silly at all. I completely understand why you feel cut off at the knees. Hugs to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now