1st relationship post DW has come to an end

[Mac]

This was a post from just over a year ago.

 

My GF and I just split up. We had been going out for 7 months. It was a wonderful 7 months together, but ultimately we realize that the differences between us are too much to overcome. She is a wonderful and beautiful person for so many reasons and I do/will miss her.

 

She is totally different than DW or anyone that I dated before I got married some 29 years ago. That was nice to experience. By being in this relationship so many questions that I had after DW passed were answered. I am grateful for that.

 

I am not planning on dating anymore (at least for now) and look forward to having more time in my life for me.

 

[Captains wife]

I am now on relationship number 2 post widow. I am having some great times with these new relationships but admittedly struggling too. Have wondered for a while whether I should take a break from dating completely but the issues is, given my circumstances, that I tend to get lonely pretty quickly. I think finding a match at this stage in life isn't easy.....but I am willing to keep trying !

[Mangomom]

I also had a relationship end after almost two years. He was a completely different person that DH, and my polar opposite. We met at a grief group and he was a little further out than me. We were drawn to each other through our shared grief. It was a rough, uncertain relationship that had extreme emotional highs and lows. We tangled grief and new love so tightly that we beat a dead horse for quite a long time.  I actually said to him during a break up that it would be easier if he was dead because then I couldn't keep going back because it was comfortable (the things you can only say to a widow!!). I know that we were together as part of our journey. I know that he was what I needed at the time. I cherish all of the time spent.  He definitely helped me to know that I do want to love again and be someone's other half.  It also helped me narrow down what I want and need from a partner. Growing up with your spouse, you learn each other as you go. Meeting and dating someone now is different because you have your ways and so do they. The art of compromise is much more profound then the compromises you make over 20 years.

[Mac]

I also had a relationship end after almost two years. He was a completely different person that DH, and my polar opposite. We met at a grief group and he was a little further out than me. We were drawn to each other through our shared grief. It was a rough, uncertain relationship that had extreme emotional highs and lows. We tangled grief and new love so tightly that we beat a dead horse for quite a long time.  I actually said to him during a break up that it would be easier if he was dead because then I couldn't keep going back because it was comfortable (the things you can only say to a widow!!). I know that we were together as part of our journey. I know that he was what I needed at the time. I cherish all of the time spent.  He definitely helped me to know that I do want to love again and be someone's other half.  It also helped me narrow down what I want and need from a partner. Growing up with your spouse, you learn each other as you go. Meeting and dating someone now is different because you have your ways and so do they. The art of compromise is much more profound then the compromises you make over 20 years.

 

The woman that I dated was so different from DW.  I'm glad that you feel that it was a positive experience for you and part of your journey. I feel the same way. She was kind enough to say to me: "I will always cherish this time that we spent together." Wow, grateful for that! These experiences do make us more "grounded," help us define what is most important in terms of needs and the compromises that we are willing to make.