The Wedding Weekend

[Mac]

 

This past summer I attended some very special weddings. I wrote this after the first one.

 

I?ve gone to four weddings since Cindy passed. The first wedding was at 6 months. It was emotional, but in a good way. I was with family. It was a very ?colorful? ceremony. And I knew how much Cindy loved my niece and how happy she was for her. I could feel her there smiling.

 

The next wedding was just before the one-year anniversary. It didn?t go so well. It was for a coworker that I don?t feel particularly close to. I wasn?t engaged in the ceremony so my mind did wander. There was much sadness for me and I was glad to get out of there.

 

The third wedding was for Cindy?s nephew. This was at 15 months. They asked me to perform the ceremony and to say some words. I was honored. It was good experience. I am very close to my sister-in-law, her husband and their children (and their children). It was great to be there as a family and in so many ways to share the love and friendship that Cindy and I had in our marriage.

 

This weekend was Cindy?s niece?s wedding. It was on my sister-in-law?s land, a beautiful mountain setting at 10,000?. I was there with the family all weekend long. Working on the final preparations Friday afternoon and Saturday morning. It was a fairly large wedding. The ceremony was next to a rustic creek surrounded by incredible peaks. I had fun dancing with family and friends at the reception.

 

Cindy was on my mind all weekend long. So many great memories of time spent at the cabin with family. I knew that she would be happy for her niece. Certainly some emotional moments for me during the day. As I sat at my table and looked at the table where my son and daughter and their cousins were sitting, I had such a strong feeling of pride and accomplishment. Cindy and I always tried to put family first and both felt that family is the most important thing in life. I could feel her beaming like I was at the fine individuals that they have become.

 

There is a quiet place on the land that is dedicated to Cindy. We had a ceremony there 8 months after Cindy passed. Sunday morning I went there and meditated and focused on Cindy. It was good to have that quiet private time.

 

Irises were always a big part of Cindy?s life and had very special significance for her. The Wild Irises were in full bloom. What an incredible bonus!

 

[hachi]

Just lovely, Mac

[linda5]

I had one daughter get married 15 months after my husband died.  I was a total wreck.  I tried so hard not to cry and ruin her wedding, and for the most part I succeeded.  But I do remember people whispering to me while walking down the aisle, "You've got this, Linda!  You can do it!" 

 

This September I have another daughter getting married.  I'm better equipped to walk down the aisle without dissolving into tears now. 

[Captains wife]

My sister just got married in Feb. She asked me to be the Maid of Honor, which I was happy to do for her. I am happy for her and new husband and the wedding was beautiful but it was very hard for me, admittedly. All the guests at the wedding were relatively newly married, some with young kids - just starting out on their journey together. Although I was with my family, part of me felt very alone.

 

I was doing fine until the pastor said the "until death do you part" part of the vows and I had to do everything in my power not to cry. Think I had a smile plastered on my face. I am so happy for my sister but I am mourning for what I lost at the same time.