tmppgh2015 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 As im not a frequent poster to this forum... I did find the old forum and read it a lot and it helped me get through a lot. I do think being 15 months out and at my lowest point.. I will start to post more. TBH... I didn't even know how to articulate what I was going through or how to process any of it. I do thibkni figured that part out now.. Which is why these feelings are so raw now.. I feel now I not only morning the loss of my DH but also myself. I fell like I am spiraling out of control and have no idea who this new person is. There are a lot of things I miss about the old me and I feel I am mourning that too. I don't know what to do or how to catch myself and be ok with the new! I just feel like such a lost soul. I did want to take the time to thank all of you on this board. I don't know if you realize sometimes you guys really do help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so low right now. There are so many levels of loss to process and they hit us at different times. I have struggled with the loss of my identity and the person I was also. Keep reading, post as much as you are comfortable with and we can all help to support each other, I know it's been a life saver for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Sending you my virtual support Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WifeLess Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 tmppgh2015, I feel now I not only morning the loss of my DH but also myself ... There are a lot of things I miss about the old me and I feel I am mourning that too. The death of our spouse is truly devastating to our life. We lose not only that one unique person in the world we were closest to, but so much more. And this often includes even our own selves. Towards the end of my first year of widowhood, I tried to articulate this in "Unique and Devastating Loss". Although I first posted it on YWBB in 2010, with that's site's demise it was recently reposted here: http://widda.org/index.php?topic=8.0 --- WifeLess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I agree. We not only mourn our spouse, but also our previous lives. Everything changes, including us. I'm glad we all found this support group. Tomorrow will be 16 months for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingMyJon Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 tmppgh2015, I am just over 13 months. I read every day, and although I also do not post often, this forum has been a life saver for me. I, too, sometimes struggle with the words on what I need to say, and even just coming up with a reply. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 You and I are on a very similar timeline, and I have been struggling a bit my own self, lately. Much of what you said rings true for me, as well. I, too, feel lost and like things are spiraling out of control, and I can echo your gratitude for this site and the people here, who have been such a lifeline, since the loss of my Kenneth. I'm sorry that you are struggling, right now. Please, come here as often as you feel comfortable, and post as often as you need to. You don't have to express things perfectly, just write from your heart. I promise, someone here will be able to read and understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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