From HuffPo Article- Billy Bob Thorton on grief

[MrsT85]

The article is about the grief he lives with following the sudden death of his brother 25 years ago, but it pretty perfectly sums up how I feel about losing my Tim so suddenly.  I generally think of myself as "Beyond Active Grieving" (no longer paralyzed by sadness, rebuilding my life and planning for a future with a new Fiance), but worry that I haven't seem to reach the sky-high levels of happiness that some who've recoupled have.  Reading that others feel the same way about people they loved so deeply (although in his case, a sibling rather than a husband) and are okay with that gives me some comfort.

 

"I have to really force myself to think that things are going to be OK in terms of worrying about my family, myself or one of my friends," he says. "I've never been the same since my brother died. There's a melancholy in me that never goes away. I'm 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment."

 

As painful as it has been to cope with this loss, Thornton has chosen to embrace his grief.

 

"I don't want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves [that remembrance]. That's how important he was to me," Thornton says. "So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him... then that's the way I honor him.

 

It's an anguish that he doesn't believe will ever go away. "I'll be sad and melancholy about that forever. I know it and I accept it and I live with it," he says. "But I think it's OK. I think it's OK to have all those feelings.""

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/11/billy-bob-thornton-brother-death_n_7555610.html

 

[MissinGrizz]

I've recoupled but still have that melancholy. Just because some of us seem to have reached a higher level, doesn't meant we have. I love my new life but loved my old one and miss my DH very much. It's been well over five years....my husband still grieves for his brother 30 years after losing him.....we never truly soar without a little weight on our wings, reminding us of what's gone...thus that sky-high level is hard to maintain.

[IfIonlycould]

I haven 't read the full on article yet but just want to say I do carry the melancholy of of my father's death, husbands death, mothers death and friend/mentors death (I put them in order of loss...)....they and their deaths are all part of who I am now....I have recoupled but that does not erase my past, it makes my present better but I can't and don't expect a relationship to make up for all I have experienced....this is all a part of life.

 

 

[swilson]

Thanks for sharing, love his take on the happiness thing. I'll embrace, cherish and savor it when possible, but there will always be a feeling below the surface to remind me to honor and appreciate it while it lasts.

[Guest IronBear]

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