Not so Much a Dream But a Feeling

[JustLola]

I've had several dreams about my DH since he left. At first they were very emotional and/or about him being passed on but still alive somehow.

 

The last few days they've taken on a different form. They're not about him but he's there, in the background, often not saying a word. The one last night was the same - he was just there, part of the fabric of my life.

 

It's how I woke up that shook me. My hand was cupped around the remote I'd left on the bed. That remote has been there every night for weeks and I've never touched it. This morning I was holding it in the same position as he and I would hold hands the last few days of his life, when he just wanted to know I was there. As I came to I just kept looking at my hand. It's not that I thought he was really there but that I couldn't believe he wasn't. The feeling of him beside me seemed so real.

 

I know many of you of had dreams of your spouses. I would love to hear if/how those dreams have spilled over into real life.

[Beyondlife]

I love visits from them

[Adley]

For five or six months every morning I woke from the same dream.  The noise of that terrible breathing machine. So every morning my mind would replay the entire history of her being sick. The nightmare spilled over into waking time for a good while every day. Now the dreams are different, and happier. The other night we were just talking in the living room and she was standing on one foot clipping her toenails and talking like she used to do. Lol now that makes me smile. She was so funny. 

[JustLola]

What a vivid image, Adley. I've never heard of someone standing on one foot clipping toenails and I love what a happy and unique memory it is for you.

[Adley]

Thanks Lola, she was so cool. . . words can't do her justice. I know what you mean, still being able to feel your spouse. Thank you for sharing with everyone

[sdarrah1130]

Early on I would have dreams of him in his work uniform.  I would tell him he needed to come home and he would tell me he couldn't. 

[tybec]

I will be 5 years out in Jan.  At first, dreams were about him leaving me. This was devastating as he told me he never would, and he would outlive me. Researched a bit and a common theme, your brain trying to reconcile that they are no longer here and if they left on their own, some control?  It was painful and I would cry terribly.  First 6 months.  Then I started having some that were just day to day dealings and that was nice until I awakened and had to remind myself it was dream, he wasn't here. 

 

I chose to start dating this winter.  I began the transition of thought of being married to available to date summer of 2015.  The visits have stopped pretty much, now.  Almost like they say they know we need them near but when we are ready to move forward without them, they go.  IDK

 

NG and I have dated for 8 months now.  I think about him now regarding feelings, intimacy of any kind. I think my brain had to do so as well as my heart, letting go of DH or I couldn't move to another man in my life.  I am thankful for that actually. 

 

[Tatianakm]

In the very beginning i wanted to dream about him so badly, but I only had one dream, about 3d or 4th day after his death, he was standing in our kitchen, it was a bright sunny morning, and he smiled and said " common, babe, where is my vitamins, you know I have to be on point with it, if you really want me to be on this health kick..."- i used to lay out  his vitamins for him. And I replied- babe, you won't  believe what happend to us, i think you died! He smiled and i woke up.

 

I saw a medium and he acknowledged this dream, pretty much word for word. He also said that my husband tried to "get in" but i am so consumed with grief that he can't. In time when my grief had softened a bit, i do have dreams with him, very brief and so lovely, most recently, we were sitting on a bench, it was night, i was laying with my head in his lap and we were stargazing, and i couldn't tell whether it was tears, rain or shooting stars, but it was very comforting. Every dream with him is comforting. I could go on like this forever, if only we "live" in my dreams. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I always thank him for this treat.

 

 

[JustLola]

That makes sense to me, Tatianakm, about them not being able to "get in." I went for weeks and weeks after his memorial not sensing him or dreaming about him. I was so distraught. And then one night I had a vivid dream of him really upset, apologizing for and talking about things that were unresolved in our relationship. Once we both let those things go it was like the flood gates opened and the dreams started to come more often.