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tybec

It's my "pity" party and I'll cry if I want to.....

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First Christmas single again.  Not the greatest. Got sick and spent 5 hours at urgent care Christmas eve. Truly sick.  Diverticulitis.  Wow. 

 

So, guy of 3.5 yrs. dumped me 3 months. Never has contacted me once. I did all the texting and emailing to return things. I sent a couple memes here and there I felt relevant.  I let him know me and my kid were going to be just fine.  The widow and the fatherless kid will be just fine. He got all he wanted. He got his kids 50/50 and his dream job. Bumper year for him. 

 

Well, he ends up behind me in traffic. Kind of runs up on me to get the light. I am clueless as it was Christmas parade traffic. He texts immediately he was sorry and didn't know my car until right up there.  Okay, I wasn't paying attention due to traffic.  I text him back later he seems to be off as I do see his posts on the Father's rights page. Nope he is fine and then he texts he misses me.  He had twice stated this before, and I ignored it. I finally stated he made the right call to take care of his kids and me to do so with mine.  Polite for him to state that.  WTH! 

 

So, a couple more texts by accident on my end. I block his information so it does not occur as he keeps responding  with more though I apologize. I finally make a snarky comment and no response.  Blocked more access I have to him.  So, he sends me a Christmas card. A lovely pic of him with his children with their names.  Why? Why?  

 

2020 cannot get here soon enough.  New year.  8 yrs. widowed in Jan.  New life again.

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I'm so sorry, Tybec.  To be sick on top of everything else triggers even more emotions during this time of year.  But, you and your child WILL be just fine...even though it may not seem like it now.  Sounds like you ex-guy is trying to string you along with so much contact, either that or he cluelessly thinks sending cards and the texts will allow him to not lose touch with you completely and may alleviate his feelings of guilt.   If I were in your shoes and seriously ready to make a clean break, I would do what you're doing and continue to block him and delete any ways of contact.  Tough to do, but you've been through worse.  You can do this!  Wishing you a new, happy beginning in 2020.  Big ((((HUGS))))

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Sorry to hear about your Christmas Eve illness, tybec.  Hope that you're feeling better and on the mend.  

 

What a strange encounter with your ex.  It sounds like a weird cycle with him reaching out to you, what's he thinking?  Sounds like somebody that doesn't know how to appropriately back away, allow the relationship to cool and let the healing continue.  Agree with cathy that if you're ready to make a clean break - continue to block him!!   

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So you have all his numbers/info blocked? You can no longer receive texts?- That is the only way I have ever been able to have a successful clean break. After 3 months, I am sure he is missing aspects of your relationship. Right now though, you can't be platonic friends. It hurts too much on your part. Block all contact. The Christmas  Card was just stupid of him. I am sure it wasn't sent with malice, but he wasn't thinking. 

 

I am sorry you were sick on Christmas Eve. Hope you are healing and getting better over the rest of the Holidays.

 

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Thank you all.  First break up at age 50.  yeah.

 

I unfriended him quickly. He changed his status to single in a week, public. That was hurtful.  I keep my private because my friends know me. No text by phone since the break up. All through social media, so hid/blocked that.  

Doing reading on breaking up.  Some info says you should be good in 6 weeks. Really?  Others say as long as it takes.  I am hoping 6 months will get him out of my head. When you have all tied up together and have to untie and make new relationships to fill the gaps, that just takes time, I think. 

 

He wants to be friends. Said he hoped we could be single parents to help each other out. Um, no. 

 

Getting there.

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Tybec - first I'm sorry you were sick over Xmas.....Break-ups are NOT easy and it makes it harder if he is circling in the picture. You are such a strong person with a great head on her shoulders so you will do great in the future (although I know its really tough). Maintain the no-contact rule (I can suggest break-up help books if you are interested) and BELIEVE ME it helps. I was heartbroken after my last break-up (mid-40s, a few years ago) and he would contact me on occasion and wanted to meet up, said he missed me but I said no in the end and the no contact really made it easier. Its super tough to be friends after such a long relationship (and bad break-up) so I wouldn't recommend you go anywhere near that in the near term.  I'm not impressed with this individual (your ex) - you really stayed right with him through all his mess and then he exits (and then does crazy things like send a happy Xmas card?!)....he is going to realize super-quickly how hard dating is and how hard it is to find a great person, especially as his life has so much drama - as I used to say to myself when out there dating...NEXT!

 

New year = new great experiences for Tybec ! Wishing you all the best....

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Well this week NG sent me an email.  He forwarded a google calendar reminder.  With a winking emoji.  It was significant as it was the first night I spent with him.  Big deal as I had only been with my husband.  He knew all that. 
 

Chose to not respond.  Sept since he emailed me and that was clearing out our things and a response to me emailing him.  
A  male friend said he is playing  games.  Childress behavior now.  🤷‍♀️
 

Lessons learned. 
 

Thanks for your support. I am reading up on red flags.  They were there but I ignored them.  It has helped filtering out on line dating situations. 

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What a jerk. Trying to yank your chain? Seeing if you’re up for a hook-up? Can’t stand that you are actually able to walk away from him and get on with your life? This man has always sounded self-absorbed and unable to accept blame for any part of why his relationships go south. Also- He could never put you first. Thank you for loving yourself enough to ignore him. 

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12 hours ago, Bunny said:

Thank you for loving yourself enough to ignore him. 

😍

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On 1/3/2020 at 7:56 AM, tybec said:

He forwarded a google calendar reminder.  With a winking emoji.  It was significant as it was the first night I spent with him.  Big deal as I had only been with my husband. 

 

Wow. This is awful. Its like he is mocking you, what a complete jerk. It is a big deal, and then he does this? Please always remember you deserve way better than this guy. Way better. Sorry he turned out this way. 

Wow.

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He wants his cake and eat it too. He has fleeting moments of missing you, don't bite.

 

Ignore him. What a tool!

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