MR

Prayers

Beautiful poem. I hope telling us is first step in let it go and it might give you peace. May be discuss it with therapist. 

Hugs

Manoj

12 hours ago, Yell120910 said:

I just needed to express this... I am tired being a strong person!

When my husband died, he left me with two beautiful sons (at that time, 2 y.o and 1 y.o.). Looking back I felt like I never really grieved properly because I don't like my children to feel that they're losing me as well. I needed to wake up and smile for them. There were so many things that I needed to decide - motherhood, household, in-laws and work..etc.

 

But I am tired of being a strong person! 3 years have passed, and I feel like the rebellious side of me is starting to creep in. I don't know the extent of my pain and anger yet after my husband died.

I wanted to throw a fit but I don't think people will understand, or I deem no one will back me up because they will all think that I should have done it 3 years ago.

My families and friends believe that I should have moved on already and done with grieving.

 

Is this normal after more than 3 years of grieving? I know time will heal, but I think I am a late bloomer

 

I found similar behavior in me. I was so religious and now really do prayers so i can relate to you. 

Hi Sam,

There are other ways where you can get married legally but don't have to register. Mine was arranged marriage back in India and we didn't register it for like 2 years till I need certificate for immigration purposes to Canada. I would suggest get married some other country and register there but don't have to disclose in your state or city.

Thanks

Manoj

Hi Jessm1 ,

Sorry to see you in this club who nobody wants to join. Please keep writing and ready this forums as it is very helpful in initial days and month. Eat and drink lots of water. Nobody can understand what is it to lose a spouse at this age unless they go thru the same.

Take care

Manoj

I suppose been single and not having a backup makes us more anxious.

Hi KryptiKat,

Sorry to hear about your accident. The anxiety is very common among us. It is 20 months but still after calls with lawyer rest of the day is quite tough for me to go thru. Last year my son was having tooth extract and I was panicking as they would give him anesthesia. If even today if doesn`t call for a day i panic.

Take care

Manoj

2 hours ago, donswife said:

Fuck that both my lawnmowers decided to crapout , really both , and the same day !

I will get them fixed , I am sure it's something simple , but just fucking sick of days like this that make it so hard 

 

Reminds me of Jan 11 when came back from India to find both car batteries dead and wouldn't even start with jump start.

Hi,
Sorry to hear about your husband. Please take one day at a time. It is difficult journey but hopefully will get little better for  you. Sending hugs your way.

Manoj

Congrats

I agree with Karma stuff but the issue is they will be punished we don't know when but we lose our prime time of life due to all this crap.

Peace

Manoj

Hi Christine,

I am so sorry for your loss. Group members have already given you very good suggestions. I am at 1.5 year mark and still get some melt down days. One of the thing i would suggest may be bring a change in your routine. Try more exercise or yoga or meditation. If you can't find any support group see if you can find some friend who is ready to listen as you have so much to talk about the journey. I found that finding a friend who could listen to me was nothing less than therapist.

Hugs

Manoj

Hi Lindsay,

So sorry for what happened. Please take care of yourself, your son and daughter to be born. Take one day at a time or even one hour at a time. Take help from others and don't stress yourself.

Hugs

Manoj

Fast forward a couple of years...  You will be happy to hear that she is now happily remarried to her husband!  God Bless the opportunity of reconciliation!

So true they had a chance to reconcile which we never had bcs we didn't separate. People forget even when they are divorced their kid has both parents our don't.

Hi Cyndi,

So sorry to hear about your husband. Sending hugs your way. Take one day at a time. Eat well and drink lots of water.

Hugs

Manoj

Hi Tammy,

So sorry to hear about your husband. Sending hugs your way. Take one day at a time. Eat well and drink lots of water.

Hugs

Manoj

So sorry to hear what you have to go thru. I hope you will get better soon. Sending hugs take care.

Hi,

So sorry for your loss. There is nothing normal or abnormal when it comes to widow ship. After doc took her body to autopsy i drove the car myself straight to funeral home to make arrangement. I was crying but had to take care of kids too. Not much support from anybody so had no choice but to do everything myself. Please don't blame yourself for anything as you did what best you could do. Everyone's case is different. Take care of yourself.

So true seems like my story..

Started little bit yesterday after 19 months by taking her clothes out and asking DD to select what she wants and rest can be donated. Big step but trying to finally take it.

We always get those kinds of comments. We were sitting in a group and someone said I wish he was dead at least i will get the closure and not have to fight with him every time. I am liking seriously I would give everything to have one more fight with my DW. She just said sorry and we dropped the topic.

Think is separated, divorced , break up is so common to find in all age groups where as our case is kind of unique. I do understand they have to go thru some of the stuff which we don't but why compare.

It is normal. It might be another few weeks/month or a year before you feel little normal. We  can never be same again as loss is deep.

Hugs

Manoj

Congrats and best wishes

Hugs

Manoj

I think beth_krkswidow and Englishwidow have already said everything i could say. I am near 18 month mark. Don't cry for days or weeks now. Started with fake smile and now converted to real smile and laugh. Can't say want to live long as use to plan but at least don't want to die anytime soon. Take one day at a time and you will get better equipped to handle pain and grief.

Hugs

Manoj

Hugs and Good luck.