sdarrah1130

14 days since E passed away. Last night I baked chicken for dinner. Today I actually went into the office for a half day. Sandy - E's wife

Me and Eric in Ireland for his 40th Birthday. First is Kinsale Ireland. His favorite place. Second is the Gap of Dunloe.

It has been 2 1/2 weeks since Eric collapsed at work and 12 days since he passed away. The past 2 1/2 weeks have been filled with "things to do" To/From the hospital, Funeral planning, calls being made/making calls, people texting, calling and stopping over. The last few days I have finally been by myself at my house. I am still in shock and denial. I keep thinking E is at work (he worked a lot) or out of town. I really haven't cried and i am frustrated at this. I want to cry, sob, scream and throw things. I feel too rational and I am frustrated. I have started to work half days to get back to our "routine" hoping this will trigger the real feelings inside and help me start to really feel my loss. I know everyone grieves differently and it takes time but it is frustrating. Sincerely, Sandy - E's wife

My Name is Sandy and I lost my husband Eric on 02/26/2015, 12 days ago. Eric and I started dating in 1992 when he was 18 and I 21, we dated for almost 3 years. We broke up for 5 years and reunited in 2001 we were married in November of 2002. E was diagnosed with high BP and End Stage Renal Disease at 27. He receive a kidney transplant from his mother in 2003. He had been ill (the flu) dehydrated for about 2 weeks, he went to his regular kidney appointment and they admitted him for dehydration. He spent 3 days in the hospital getting fluids and attempting to eat. He came home with still no appetite but knew he needed to eat. He went back to work 2 days after the hospital as he is stubborn and if he "goes to work, I will feel better" "I just need to get back to work". Saturday morning he woke up, checked his BP and his heart rate was a bit elevated, Took a shower, complained of nasal drip making his stomach upset, he kissed me goodbye (3 quick kisses), told me he loved me and left for work. I received a call from my MIL stating that his job called his dad and said he had a Heart attack. I immediately call his job and they confirmed. Panicing I called my brother and he drove me to the hospital in a blinding snowstorm as fast as he could. When we got to the hospital the doctors said he had had a cardiac arrest that caused a heart attack. They weren't sure if how long he was down so they put him into a medically induced coma for 24 hours. We do not believe he was conscious at any time. After the 24 hours was up, they warmed him but they discovered he had a bacterial blood infection that his body was fighting and due to the hit to all organs the kidney was not filtering the sedation from his body. They started a slow dialysis to help remove the sedation, toxins and infection from his body. After 24 hours of dialysis he was beginning to open his eyes and the neurologist was getting some response. We were cautiously optimistic. I went home that night anticipating more responses the next day. I received a call from the hospital at 4:50 AM that my husband was not doing well and I needed to get to the hospital. I called my MIL and we both were on our way. When we arrived at the hospital they said his lung had collapsed and his heart stopped again. He was having trouble with the vent and I knew this was it. Discussions with the doctors were not even close to hopeful. Our biggest wish for my husband is that he was not baptised as a child however raised in a catholic household. He always wanted to go through the classes and be baptized, anointed and confirmed. We expressed out wishes to the nurses and hospital staff. The hospital E was taken to is a faith based hospital and they were able to provide my husband, MIL and myself with our wish to have him baptized . I believe that once he was baptized, anointed and confirmed he was at peace. We called his family (4 siblings), my family and our closest friends to come to the hospital. I had to make the hardest decision and sign the most horrible paper in the world. My husband was removed from all life support and passed away surrounded by his family and closest friends at 6:30 PM on February 26, 2015. The past 2 1/2 weeks have been filled with "things to do" To/From the hospital, Funeral planning, calls being made/making calls, people texting, calling and stopping over. The last few days I have finally been by myself at my house. I am still in shock and denial. I keep thinking E is at work (he worked a lot) or out of town. I really haven't cried and i am frustrated at this. I want to cry, sob, scream and throw things. I feel too rational and I am frustrated. I have started to work half days to get back to our "routine" hoping this will trigger the real feelings inside and help me start to really feel my loss. I know everyone grieves differently and it takes time but it is frustrating. Thank you for listening, Sincerely, Sandy - E's wife