maddalena

thanks so much Linda, I think you are right on all counts. it's just crazy sometimes, these dreams.

you guys must be tired of me and all my dreams. My husband was upset with me because I hadn't warned him that new guy was coming next week. I mean, the nerve of me! he wanted to know where new guy was going to sleep, since my son is coming to town too and he's going to be in the guest room. I actually visualized us three in a bed. ??? woke up trying to figure out how i got into such a fix..

sorry, I hope you feel better soon. And follow up with that manager!

this is pretty outrageous. I would have reported her!

what's BAG?

great news on the books!

I was a teenager with a mother who was not married. I didn't mind when the BF slept over at our house as long as they were discreet. I DID mind when she went to NYC and didn't come home. I couldn't stand the guy. He was a pompous ass. like your teens, I didn't want to know the details. It was just too gross to contemplate. and for what it's worth, when I finally had the courage to tell my sons I had a boyfriend, instead of them wanting to grill and haze him, they were relieved and happy for me. But they are long past their teen years.

i think you deserve a little adult conversation before he gets to how good his fingers are. I mean, what about manners? You're not ready to talk about sex yet. You need to find out what this guy is. Sex is great for the first 6 months, but if there's no relationship there, it all falls apart. So to answer your first question, yes.

wow, we each have our own road here. I loved the story about the Saudi Arabian salt I pick up things that are precious and i say to myself, if was gone, would anyone care about this thing? would they even know what the significance was? that helps me decide.. I could just see my sons looking at their dad's old bike shoes...

It has been almost 3 years since I lost my DH. in the first two years I got rid of some of his stuff, gave some away, you know the drill. But there were things I couldn't get rid of yet. In a week I am having a male visitor and I figured this would be a good time to go through stuff again. I found a bunch of his bike clothes and found a home for them, I was able to clean out his sock drawer, in fact, I emptied a dresser. But then I came to his old bike shoes. The ones he absolutely wore out. I decided it was time for them to go. But I picked them up and had to hug them. he wore them so long, and so hard, and enjoyed his life to the fullest while those shoes were on his feet. THAT was tough.. how are you guys doing?

i think your husband would like you to be loved. In my case, I know if i just waited for a guy to show up, I would have died of old age. 8) so.. Once I started thinking about it, I did something about it too. I bet there's a wonderful guy just looking for you now. good luck and hugs

so glad to hear this. There's something about having a living lover that I REALLY like.

I get it too. But my new guy knows that i grieve for my DH sometimes. he even helps interpret my dreams about him.

yep, I totally get it. While i was preparing to spend 3 months with new guy, I was also preparing an awards banquet for a bunch of guys who did a bike ride in honor of DH.. Then we had dinner, where we cooked what DH would have wanted, and my son prepared a pie like DH would have done. the duality is pretty crazy, i agree. now I have dreams about DH and new guy interprets them for me.

you could write a book.

ah, sometimes i have such great dreams. I dreamed that my DH butt dialed me. I could hear him talking to a business associate, but he couldn't hear me. He sounded relaxed and happy. After a while, I either hung up or lost the connection. I mused about how happy I was that I could call him, I had his number now, of course, it was right on my phone.. and all the things I was going to tell him about. I woke up, still thinking of all the news I had for him..my new love, my new life... and then I remembered. He's DEAD!!! sigh. well, I told this story to my boyfriend. He suggested; DH really DID butt dial me, from wherever he is, so I'd know everything up there was all right.

ah, yes. DH and I were "that couple" too, but what wasn't obvious was that he was a very very difficult person. He had been abused, and a part of him was "broken" for lack of a better way to put it. But we made it work. We loved each other, and literally WORKED at making the relationship work. but it takes two. And that's what i take away from your story... YOU made the sacrifice. Is he really interested in you, in your happiness? good luck. i hope you find happiness and that he is willing to work at it.

If someone gave me photo s of my deceased father I would be thrilled. Don't get rid of them. Grandma, not so much. Keep a few of her as well.

interesting, new place!!

ah, the story of my chapter 2 life. I HATE the fact that he is 3000 miles from me. we skype, we text, we call, we send letters and little gifts in the mail, we send emails. We can afford to visit each other once a month which really helps. he still works so i am doing the majority of the travel. He plans to move out here when he retires, which is in about a year. Believe me there will be a count down. But he also has to sell his house. I have spent time there at his house helping him get the house ready to sell. Sometimes I am filled with frustration and despair. We had no idea my husband would die at age 61, now, here I am waiting for guy #2 to turn 65 before he moves here. and then this past year, i did take my cats to his house for 2.5 months of winter! (he's in Florida) There are so many places I would move to; but Florida isn't one of them!

i knew i wasn't ready when I first "tried" i logged onto a dating site and the mere act of doing that made me sick to my stomach. I waited a while more and i could cruise the site, but when someone actually wrote to me that i couldn't just rule out because he was an idiot or a slime bucket, i got queasy again. I knew i was ready the day I wrote to my many years before i was married boyfriend and was excited when he called me back. It was a few months short of 2 years..

what a rotten deal about the shelter closing! heartbreaking. but i am glad you found a place for the cat, IN THE FAMILY!

i used to be like you too, but now both of the major men in my life were guys to whom I was not initially attracted. In fact, when i met my husband i found him to be whiny and immature. 5 years later, oh boy! new guy, ok, when i met him in 1969, yes, he was very attractive but when i re-met him in 2014, what i saw first was a balding old man with bad posture. not exactly a turn on. however, in time ( a few days) I did find him very attractive. so if you meet someone who is fun to be with and a pleasure to talk to, enjoy them. if you're not attracted at first, give it a little time.. it's really nice to be compatible with that hot flame.

there was a lot of confusion before he went unconscious, but his final text to me was "i can always text you" and our final conversation was "happy anniversary" from him and me responding, "will you be my valentine" and his response was "yes" and a hug. He was so shaky it scared me. Who knew.

It's true, lightning can strike twice! Congrats! Enjoy!