maddalena

I could have written this. Yes. It's what it is. I am happy for you! and yes, it's real, and since love is a verb, keep LOVING and building that love.

maybe this is none of my business, but why would a lesbian be messing with a "boy widow" anyway? You clearly prefer women. I don't get it. tell me MYOB if you want.

as my husband lay dying he made me PROMISE to go to Italy. 2 months later, I was there. i was still in shock, but i did a lot of things there with him in mind including buying an inexpensive bike and giving it a similar name to the bike he had (His was Katrina, I named mine Caterina) the highlight of that trip was spending a week with a cousin who was widowed a year before.

sometimes i think each separate brain cell learns the truth at its own speed.

i am glad we got to the bottom of the "box sex" mystery. I figured I was too old to know what it was..

we all went on vacation, but where's my husband? surely if i put a trace on his car, I'll find him. Why doesn't he call me? Is he mad? where can he be living? Maybe I could do an internet search? surely he hasn't been totally quiet all this time? sigh.. back to your regularly scheduled program. i woke up from this and went back to sleep to dream more of the same!

hm, do you call him boy widower? change it to something else, like dandy widower!

mine is the italian version of my legal name; for anonymity. so if people google my name they won't come up with threads here.

rah rah to the new moderators!!

and Kamcho, on this board, we have moderators who are actually present, so if a thread gets highjacked, we have help!!

for me the thing to do was to keep the lights out or at least, very dim

long before i was ready to think about another man, i started looking in the social threads. Never posted, but was curious. then i would leave it for a while. I think a dating section might be used the same way. A lot of us haven't dated for MOST of our lives. If people were actually flirting and seeking each other in this safe format, it would be good for some of us who aren't ready yet, but don't even know how to start to be able to go there without committing to a dating website!!

ah nonesuch, I like you more and more

once upon a time, YWBB was young too. This board can surely grow and mature with us.

between us, we call each other our "heart side"

forgive me, i have done things like that too, it leaps out of the mouth before you have a chance to think. but the other thing you addressed; I hate the term "boyfriend" too. for crying out loud, white hair and wrinkles, he's no boy. but man friend? LOVER? Partner? i don't like any of those either.

no one ever said why they were shutting it down, besides that "it was necessary?"

I'm an empath too; but i sure didn't expect this to happen when it did. ywbb forum has been on the skids for a long time. Remember how hard it was to get someone's attention when we were getting all that spam? i hope this new site works out.

my new guy is not a widow. In fact, he is divorced. He had decided years ago that relationships were not for him, as he had failed miserably at his marriage. well, guess what, he's a wonderful guy. I started the whole thing with him by making him read the book my husband and I wrote about our marriage after he was diagnosed with cancer and before he got too weak to write. I barraged him with photos of Dh and me, to make sure this was not going to be a problem. When he came to my home, he was surrounded by photos of DH. He handled all that well too. Last week, i told him about a dream i had with DH in it, and he interpreted it in a very positive way. I think I personally would feel threatened, but he doesn't seem to be. He worries that i have not had enough time to heal (after almost 3 years) but it hasn't made him leave me yet so yes, find a good guy, and it can work!

nonesuch, you are pretty amazing, you have a lot of class. I am not sure I would have handled that guy as well and as kindly as you did.

i have noticed particularly as people age, that their smile REALLY improves their looks.

ah yes, the fatal doctor optimism. My husband had 3 months left on earth when his doctor told him he might live to see grandkids...

the cats did really well at his house. Towards the end of my stay, my one cat who is a bit nervous was actually doing better at his house than she had anywhere for years. They all accepted him. THey REALLY like him!!! The bird liked the cats in one respect. He's been alone too much in his life; so he tends to start screaming for attention when no one is in the room. Sometimes one of my cats would howl when he started screaming. Then the bird would shut up. Also, the cats liked to sit next to his cage and look out the window. That small amount of company actually soothed the bird and he did a lot less screaming when we (me and the cats) were around. so. all my fears were for naught. The only bad part was that he didn't let his bird out of its cage as much as he liked because it was a hassle to lock all the cats up while the bird had freedom. because the bird has all its wing feathers, he can just decide to fly off a shoulder and then down to where he might encounter a predatory cat. so we just didn't let him out much for the whole time i was there.

you know, my husband and i had such a good thing. he was funny, he was bright, he was thoughtful, he was loving, he was proud of me, he was supportive. He was such a great man, even now, almost 3 years since he died, people are still talking about him. He affected so many peoples' lives, and not just in our family. But you all know i have a new guy. He's not as witty or clever, he's not as thoughtful. But he has a way of soothing, of caressing my heart, that my dear husband never even thought of doing. Please don't get me wrong, my DH, he was so good to me, and he loved me with all of his heart (and I him) but new guy, he's got something else. he IS something else. I will never have what I had with my first love, but what I have with my second is just as unique. Is it better? probably not, is it not as good? probably not. It's really hard to quantify. just thought you all should know. My dh made pies, and since Pi day was Saturday, everyone was talking about him. and pie. New guy found it amazing that he was so popular. He said "when I die, there just aren't going to be that many people that talk about me." and I agreed. He's not bigger than life. If anything, he's understated. they're so different. I'm glad i didn't look for a guy just like DH... there's a whole world out there, guys..

just wanted you all to know i made it here ok