Freelancing

None of it is pointless. Its like growing up all over again asking what the need is for learning geography. Stored information comes in handy during transitional periods. This is a major transition filled with extreme emotions such as depression and boredom that makes it difficult to remember the day to day changes you made with far less effort and greater ease. I treated my grief like a giant puzzle in that I kept trying to put pieces together to make sense of. Most of my answers related back to all I learned in my childhood. This answers the question of why mental health workers always want to know about a person's childhood and past experiences. Anyhoo, the stored information surfaced when I needed it. I still have "aha" moments. Hope this helps.

I don't get that from people anymore, thank goodness. They probably figure I now know what I'm doing! At one point, I asked an acquaintance if she had a specific person in mind when she advised to start dating. Her response was in regards to a friend of her mother's who remarried a couple of years after being widowed. Prince Charming as she made him out to sound cured her of grief. Aha. I just let her know we are two separate individuals who obviously think differently. A huff and a puff and off she went muttering "I was just trying to help!" Not talking would've been much more helpful!

I remember that SCREAM very well almost 9yrs later. As a matter of fact, I had a plastic keychain figure of Edvard Munch's "The Scream" I carried daily for years - its now safely kept in a memory box.Whenever I was away from home and felt the need to scream (always!) I'd grab hold of it and rub it till the feeling subsided. About being single - I'm good with it! As soon as I adjusted to not being married and got through the worst of grief, I was good to go. It was alot of hard work to get there, but I was determined to heal myself.In doing so, it also meant no dating, recoupling, remarriage, no sex, nada, zip, no thank you to any of it. That is not to say I didn't think about it when my fears were at a high level as a possible escape. What it did do is make me confront my fears over and over again till I had a grasp on it/them. It empowered me over the things I could control. Hope this helps!

What you're actually experiencing is "ANGER" disguised as hatred. Its common whether its admitted to or not, and probably natural to feel angry due to a major loss and the destruction of a comfortable life.

I read Journey of Souls and the author's following books daily like a bible for years. Before I could absorb any faith based information I had to allow myself to let out the screaming rage I built up toward God. It was a tremendous help and much better than asking "WHY" all the time. Hope this helps.

Hi All, I"m now widowed almost 9 years.Although it was a helluva journey, I made it back much wiser, stronger and live life with purpose. My children are now young adults finding their way in the world. Naturally, they have been affected by their father's death that have turned into some very positive ways. I'm still single - YAAY! I've decided to give it another 5 years before I date! I was a former member of the old YWBB, thank goodness literally, it was shut down for obvious good reasons. No matter the type of website good trustworthy moderators are always needed. The last forum did not have the option for reporting threats, lewd pictures, malicious behavior such as revealing a person's identity without their consent or knowledge. People failed to realize in the company of others one must learn to control their grief driven anger. Some of the posts I read before I left YWBB could have lead to some serious legal ramifications. Anyhoo, I'm here again 6yrs later hoping to share what I have learned! There is light at the end of the tunnel whereas before I thought it was another train!