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Near Misses Before Sudden Death


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I'm just wondering if there's any other people out there who suddenly lost their partner through an accident or the like, if your partner had had a near miss prior to their death. For example my partner had a near miss on his bike the week before... He was riding 90kmph, hit a rock and walked away from the crash with just a cut lip. The emergency doctors couldn't believe it and it really shook my partner up. A week later he was to be killed but in a completely different accident... Anyone else with a similar story?

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I came very close to getting hit by a car (it skidded and swerved out of the way) whilst crossing the road just a few streets away from where my wife was hit and killed. It happened two days before she died. I didn't tell her about it because I thought she'd be worried - now I wonder if I'd told her she might have taken extra care when crossing the road herself.

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About a month or so before my husband died, we were run off the road on the way to work into a ditch going 70 mph. His quick reflexes saved us both from harm, but it felt like a close brush at the time. It shook us both up for sure.

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It was a few years before his own car-crash death and he was never in danger at the time (although I still find it unsettling), but my husband actually watched someone die in a car crash right outside our apartment one night.  A young man was driving hope from a bar upset and drunk after an argument and ended up flipping his car and crashing it head-on into a building on the corner across the street from us, killing himself instantly.  As Tim would later tell me, he watched the whole scene unfold from our second story window - his friends following him and then finding the wreck, the wailing of his loved ones when they discovered he hadn't survived, the arrival of the emergency crews.  He said it was a loud, hectic and terrible scene.

 

I was asleep in the next room at the time and didn't hear a thing.  When I talked to him the next morning, he was shocked that I hadn't been aware of or awakened by the accident.

 

A few years later, he'd accidentally kill himself by driving his own car into a tree on his way back from his DJ shift at a bar.  It was one of the few nights I didn't accompany him.

 

I don't have any idea why I'm so unsettled thinking about it, but I am...

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We were on vacation with friends and another family who we only knew casually. We ended up really "clicking" with this other couple more so than the mutual friends who brought us together. The guys went out snow mobiling and my DH flipped backwards going up a steep hill and landed on the other guys snowmobile.  It was dark and he was searching through the snow for the guy, screaming his name thinking he had killed him. Luckily the guy saw what was about to happen and jumped off before getting hit. They were both so shaken and vowed to be friends for life. 2 years later that guy died suddenly and his wife ended up being my best friend. My DH took such good care of her, her house and her kids for 8 years until he died too.

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None immediately prior to DHs sudden death but in the weeks leading up to it, he spoke about a couple of experiences when he could have/should have died when he was younger.

 

One week before his death, we were visiting his family and we drove past the site where three of his friends died in a car accident when he was in high school. He was supposed to be with them that day but got called in to work. We talked quite a bit that night about it and how he felt guilty for years.

 

There were other conversations about death and dying and near misses - more so than we'd ever had before - all in the month leading up to his death. Premonition? Who knows.

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There were other conversations about death and dying and near misses - more so than we'd ever had before - all in the month leading up to his death. Premonition? Who knows.

 

Yes, same here! No near misses or anything like that, but for the last two or three weeks before he died, Jim-- who always had a morbid sense of humor-- seemed to make a lot more comments about death. Or maybe I just remember them more? He joked about wanting a Viking funeral, then about the cats eating him-- "They're being very affectionate, they're just anticipating the Great Feast"-- and he told me I should have him stuffed so he could sit on the couch with me and the kids.

 

That Sunday night-- the night before his birthday, when he died the following Thursday-- we had... not an argument, but an intense conversation. That was when he told me he had only ever wanted me to be happy... and then he assured me that he wasn't going anywhere, he wouldn't ever leave me. Sigh... :(

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2 1/2 weeks before my second husband died unexpectedly, we were standing at his late wife's grave in California (we lived in Kansas). John looked around and spoke quietly and said he was really happy with the location he had chosen to bury her...it was quiet and serene and in the environment that she loved..and that some day, half of him would be there, too.  We also finally answered the question of where we would be buried together...Kansas, the only home we had known together.

 

Like I said...2 1/2 weeks before he died unexpectedly....

 

Maureen

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