On vacation and seeing things negatively

[ieh21]

I'm feeling very down. I'm on holiday with the same family as usual. We have a great house by the seaside. But something has changed over the year. We spend time together after the kids are in bed and they're on their phones following the facebook feed. Or watching something on netflix with an earbud in while half watching tv.

 

Tonight I was trying to talk about the fact that I'm worried about leaving the girls with them tomorrow because the Eldest cant really be trusted not to just run off on the beach or stay within a reasonable distance when searching for the perfect wave (she's taken to body surfing rather too enthusiastically.) and my friend was texting someone, half-heartedly nodding and then just never responding. I was planning on going to have lunch with a friend, a 90-min drive and now I don't know. I promised my daughters that they didnt have to come, but now? I'm concerned about my friends having to watch our four children and they don't seem interested in offering any reassurance.

 

So I'm feeling let down by the lack of conversation and general chatting in the evening; I'm concerned about leaving the kids: either I'm going to have to suck it up and be worried all day or I'm going to have to disappoint the crap out of them and force them to come.

 

I look forward to this all year, this vacation...

[Trying]

First, that would make me crazy to have little conversation or adult interaction in the evenings, unplug people, it's vacation!

 

Second, I get your concerns about leaving your girls at the beach with people who are so distracted.  How have they been at the beach on this trip? Do they have kids similar ages so you know how they are watching them?  In the morning I would try again to have a conversation and add, "maybe I'm a little over protective but the other day DD was off down the beach before I knew it, I lost sight of her and it was a real anxious few moments for me, I hope it's not too stressful for you to keep a constant eye on her"

 

I hope you are able to enjoy your lunch with your friend.

[mmg19]

I can understand your feelings.  Trying had a good suggestion.  I do hope you are able to see your friend and you get assurance that your daughter will be safe.  I have a hard time understanding the lack of social amenities with the use of phones, texting, etc.  Try and enjoy the day.

[Mizpah]

Oh gosh.  I used to worry that my sister would be so busy posting photos of my daughter on FB that she would forget to watch my daughter.  This social media age!  It's insane (and I must admit that I'm part of the problem).  Do you think they'd react ok if you voice your concerns a little more pointedly? 

[Virgo]

Social media- missing out on life while posting about it. I would definitely have another conversation with your friends so that you feel comfortable leaving your kids with them. Ask them to 'unplug' while you have the conversation. Good luck, and I hope you're able to enjoy your vacation!