The first funeral after your spouses...

[HoldingOn]

What an awful month...I now hate Aug. even more...if my husband's birthday near the middle of the month and my husband's passing at the end of the month was not enough...

My only sister passed in her sleep  earlier this month. Her funeral was two weeks ago. Brought back soooo many memories.

I sat next to my BIL during the funeral- he told me....you will be my lifeline..no one knows what it's like but you.

That's what kills me...knowing what he now must face....

When I lost my husband...I wondered why that had to happen to me- but I knew it was so that I could help those who come after me....

 

I am just so lost. and drained..feel awful for my parents...my mother is a mess...my sister has two children...one is strong..the other not as much..as he sadly was the one who found her- dead in her bed. So seeing their sorrow is nearly unbearable..I try to be strong and give hope..but I just don't have anymore to give.

 

I was finally starting to feel better with my husbands passing..and now with my sister's it brings it all back up again. Will I ever heal....I hate the anguish...sorry to be so negative...but it's just what I'm feeling tonight...and know you all understand.

 

Please feel free to share your wisdom and exp. if you are going thru something similar...sorry if this is all jumbled...can't seem to think clearly...grief takes everything you are...some days...

[Trying]

I am so sorry to hear about your sister, my heart goes out to you and the whole family.  I have absolutely nothing to offer but my sympathy.  Yes, you will be able to provide an understanding for your BIL that no one else can but you also have to mourn the loss of your sister.  Be gentle with yourself.

[Virgo]

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Yes you will be there for your BIL, but it will be difficult at times since you are grieving for your sister too. Every relationship is different, and each person grieves differently. I lost my mom three months before my husband. The dynamics between me, my brother, and my dad have changed some. I feel that I've been there to support them, but they haven't really been there for me. It's hard, but sometimes I feel like the loss of my mom overshadows the loss of my husband to them. I feel both losses deeply, but they don't.

[Gabzmom]

I am so sorry!  I have been to a couple as far as friends.  But a few weeks ago, my cousin passed.  It brought back all kinds of emotions: fear, anxiety, waves of grief.  He and I were no longer close but his death triggered grief and sadness for the loss of my husband.  The difference this time around is that I let myself feel the sadness. 

 

I am sorry you are hurting but I do think you will be able to offer your BIL perspective and even guidance.  Peace.

[DansSoulmate]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Although I haven't had a sibling pass, I have been trying to be there and provide support for a good friend who lost his brother about a month ago.  The service was tough and the look on his sister-in-law's face was all too familiar..the shock and disbelief, the lonely stare even though surrounded by others, the terrible fear of what comes next, etc.  I can't imagine how drained you must be but am glad your brother-in-law has someone who understands.  Although my siblings were there for me, as hard as they tried, they just couldn't (and still can't) wrap their mind around what it is like to be without their spouse.  Luckily I had widows here in town who took me under their wing and gave lots of great advice so I try to "pay it forward". I wish you much strength at this sad time.