Gabzmom

It’s been forever since I’ve posted on the board. I have “liked” threads and posts, but haven’t really posted. I met a wonder man who happened to be a widower as well. We got married on 9–2-2017 - we are as happy as ever and we both participate in honoring our late spouses. Beyond widow-hood, we have so many other things in common.

My daughter was 13. Between friends, family, and me. We’ve kept the memories alive. However, she was older and had many memories of him. What was touching for me is the willingness of many of his friends from the military, whom she never met, to meet her and share their memories of him. One man in particular said he wanted her to know what a great man her dad was. It forever touched my heart.

I’m so happy for you, Rob!

I'm hitting five years, too. There are many happy moments that bring me sadness no matter how happy. My DD is getting ready to graduate and while I am excited for her, I am having anxiety about what that day may hold. Blessings to you.

Congrats, Rob!

Just big hugs, MS. There are times when the pain seems so fresh.

I wore mine about two years and I wore his on a chain for 6 months. I think you go with what feels right for you.

I am in Southern Washington. How far south in Oregon?

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss!

Awesome news that you got the second interview! I got my last two jobs via video conference. You will do well!

Tickets out for the season and Finding Neverland is on the list!

Linda, my condolences for your loss.

Fabulous news! So glad you will all be together soon!

I am so very sorry.

Definitely a possibility! My parents are in Salem and Portland was my old stomping ground! Yes, let's connect!

Just saw this also. I was in DC a week ago.

Congrats, Rob! I was doing well then started a downhill slide. Decided to get back on track and now doing a 12 week challenge for myself. Your post has inspired me and comes in time for day 1!

Are you wanting your fiancee to get an annulment and she doesn't want to? Or is the process going to be beyond your wedding date? Why couldn't you get married in her church? Or a local Methodist church in your town? I think now, I don't know that I want to be married in the church (I am Catholic). I just don't know. Just having concerns with managerial issues in our parish I guess. I am still involved in organizations affiliated with the church. I will always be Catholic and it is my preference. I just don't agree with a few "rules," so to speak. I am imagining a small intimate ceremony. No pomp no circumstance. And a fun party outdoors. However, that is a long way off as I have no partner. LOL.

Happy birthday, AC!

I'm not in school but am considering going back for my masters. I've been involved with the local CC as I believe that higher ed, whether in CC or the 4 year institutions, provide opportunity for jobs. I found that I'm not so in love with what I'm currently doing and want to return to my passion: HR/human improvement and performance. This business that I'm in may have been more a dream for the family. But now it's suffocating me.

A friend posted this link on her FB page. She's lost her mother, sister, first born, and her husband. She's in a lot of pain... This blog post was made by a 20-something. She lost her dad at 20. https://marissaspeaksout.wordpress.com/2016/01/15/10-things-you-realize-after-youve-lost-a-parent/

I will chime in to tell you that no one knows your life or struggle better than you. I applaud you for your persistence in accomplishing your goal and getting to where you are in your field. It's not easy to work long hours and to parent a child. This after your years of self-sacrifice. I'm also in the same camp regarding a thank you card next time. I kicked myself for trying to host Christmas this year. My SIL showed up at 11 while I was at the office and my daughter tested me that she had stopped by to tell me that they were not coming to dinner at 3. I had a 2 minute cry in the car. I was horrified that my daughter saw this. I decided that we would stop by my cousin's and I would bring the porchetta I slow cooked in from midnight to 8. I told my daughter that there is usually something driving someone else and that we would not own their bad manners. It wasn't on us, it was on them. I told her I chose not to let it spoil our Christmas and we had a great time. We left Christmas morning to spend the weekend in the city. It was fabulous. I will add that she pulled this before DH passed. We had, and she knew that DH wanted to cook Christmas dinner. The Sunday prior, she said that my brother had gotten all the food and she didn't want us to have to prep because we were working Christmas Eve. I told her we had both taken the day off. I also told her thanks but no thanks. I then told DH we were not going using a few chi I certainly words. I was so upset with myself when I got that text because I had wanted to.let the past go and try again. This time it was my child who was hurt. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hijack your thread. I think hearing your experience and remembering our recent one, brought it back a little. With all this said, I decided that I really am done with my brother and his wife.

A lot of what is written in that article resonate with me as does the quote posted by Canadiangirl. Rob loved his girl and I think she brought him so much joy. He was wrapped around her finger and to her, he hung the moon. Prior to Rob's passing, I had difficulty going to funeral homes or cemeteries. Since his passing, my visits to his gravesite bring me comfort. He is among comrades at the national cemetery. We visited weekly initially. The time between visits has increased. Life gets crazy and hectic and somehow I realized that he would be okay with getting things done and not setting things aside to go to his grave. But we do still go. It was a quiet Christmas. DD and I decided there was no better gift than a trip to the city with the dogs. Seattle is friendly to pets and they stayed happily in the hotel. We had a nice dinner. We walked about. We drove to the cemetery and brought the dogs. They love to go and they seem to know that we are at a special place when we drive through the gates. Thank you for posting.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all - it is still the season. So still extending good wishes! May you all be blessed this coming year and in the years to come.