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[Abitlost]

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[Trying]

Since I am someone who brings drama and baggage to a relationship I like to think that after a certain age we all have some baggage.  since your relationship is new, I don't think you can tell yet if this is a regular level of drama or an isolated incident. I think how he handles the situation will tell you a lot about his character and help you decide if he's worth getting to know better. Go slow and give him a chance, listen to your gut and if it seems like it's more than you want to take on, walk away.  Of course you're jaded from your last relationship and I'm sure he is too.  It can really get so complicated.

[Abitlost]

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[Captains wife]

Ah drama free would be so nice - I have tried to minimize the drama in my life post widow, that was enough drama for a lifetime. I agree with other posts on here regarding most adults having baggage at this point in life....I know I do, and I don't always handle it well. But I also think it is how new guy handles it - if he is in a foul mood, at least he was upfront about it and took some time to simmer, and didn't take it out on you directly. I would also give the whole situation some more time and see how he handles things going forward and, as well, how much you can live with. I am not dating someone with an ex and kids but he is divorced and there has been a fair amount of drama surrounding his baggage with that - although I will give him credit that he has been better about handling it with time. He has also been better about handling the baggage I bring to the relationship. All the best,

[Trying]

Abi, you have to go with your gut, if it feels like too much negative when you are coming out of another relationship than it may be not the right time for you as much as not the right guy.  It's good that you recognize your heart needs protecting. 

[Sugarbell]

From what I am reading it sounds like your inner voice "gut" is already telling you the answer. I don't like men (and same goes for women) who bad mouth there exs...Especially so early on. I think it shows character when a person takes the high road especially when dealing with kids and the other parent.

 

For me....that kind of unnecessary drama that early on....big old red flag.

Personally I would run for the hills since I didn't have much time/emotio put into the relationship yet.

 

That's me...But you are the only person who knows what's right for you.

[ManutesGirl]

I think the hardest part is figuring out his true character when there is all this other stuff going on.  Personally I wouldn't tolerate someone who berates their ex in front of his kids or uses them as a pawn. 

 

My DH had a challenging relationship with his ex.  He was usually good about it but there were periods of time where it ruled our lives because there were kids involved.  That said, this was not done by him in front of the kids.  He did a great job of not putting them in the middle.  Unfortunately she didn't do the same and they suffered for it.  The other thing is I think we were both na?ve thinking she would mellow as they got further out from their divorce.  Unfortunately that wasn't the case.  It didn't cause issues between DH & me but it did add an element to our relationship and family life that neither of us expected.

 

Good luck figuring this out.  Like others have said, listen to your gut - it's probably steering you in the right direction.