Carey Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Can I just say birthdays SUCK? I don't understand why I'm feeling this way ... I keep telling myself I'm not surprised and didn't expect anything. But when I say I got nothing I mean I got NOTHING. Not one SINGLE birthday card or gift. Not even the obligatory one here at the office that everyone signs. Co workers here always have their desk decorated and gifts and cake at lunch by their individual departments ... I am one of three in my department, and the other two are providers, so of course they don't think like that. SO , NADA. Yes, I got to go to the beach for the weekend with my best friend but no "birthday" trimmings. I can't tell you the last time I had a birthday cake I didn't buy or make myself. The thing I think that is causing the pity party this morning is because no matter what he screwed up or did wrong, Chad ALWAYS made sure I had flowers at work. Big showy arrangements of roses and daisies. Pink with pink ribbon cause he knew it was my favorite. And the absence of those roses is HUGE to me today. Kids didn't do anything but sing happy birthday in a voice mail over the phone. My brothers and sisters texted age related snarky "humorous" happy birthdays. My mother didn't so much as call. I just feel so insignificant. He was the ONE who always made sure it was right. He knew how I felt at work on my birthday and he never let this happen. 49 days from now will be 2 years. How in the world can he have been gone for two years? I think all this water is getting to me. We've had more than 10 inches of rain, I've had to drive in it and walk around wet for over a week now and my nerves are probably just fried but I'm feeling really down ... more so than I have in a really long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnip Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Haaaaaaaapy Birrrrrrrrthdaaaaaaaayyyyy toooooooooooo yooooooooooooooooou!! Keep dry ~Catnip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJF Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Sorry your birthday didn't go as you had hoped - but Happy Birthday to you anyway (((HUGS))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I'm sorry you had a bad birthday. Mine was sort of a bust, too, but I'm not big on birthdays, so it didn't really bother me. It's probably late, but have a big ole birthday hug, anyway!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fern Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Happy Birthday Carey! Sorry it was rotten. This would be a great non-profi organization. All it would do is call and/or send a card on a widow/widower's birthday. I had my birthday the week before my husband died. In the frenzy of caring for him and everyone freaking out my birthday was forgotten and I felt selfish even mentioning it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanGenie Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 First, Happy Birthday! My birthday was last week and I totally get what you're saying! I am thankful for the family and friends who sent a card or text to wish me a Happy Birthday...I do know how lucky I am to have them in my life. Like Chad, my DH, always made my birthday special. Flowers at work and/or at home, a special home-cooked meal, and simple thoughtful gifts like my favorite chocolates. He just knew how to make the day special for me and to make sure I felt special as well. I'm approaching 2.5 years (my third bday without him) and I've learned that I am now responsible for my own happiness. So I buy myself flowers and a little single serving dessert. And this year I planned a trip so I wasn't at least at work on my birthday, but rather doing something fun. Such good plans, but by evening, when I was home alone in an empty house, I had my good cry as well. All of this just sucks and I also hate that there is no one to make me feel special. That is why I try to make sure I do something for my closest friends on their birthdays. Anyhow, I'm sorry you had a miserable birthday and go ahead and have a cry--you deserve it and know you're in good company. Sending you virtual birthday wishes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmsmdm Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Happy Birthday!!! I'm so sorry you feel all alone. (((((Big squishy hugs))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I'm so sorry, Carey!!!! I didn't notice it on the board because I'm not here much these days, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! We should have a listing of upcoming birthdays so we can celebrate them here, together. A Virtual Party?? With virtual GIANT bouquets sent to work. And dinner made. And cocktails and streamers. Can we do this, ADMIN? My Fortieth was spent moving. I got a Costco Card. I never shop at Costco. HA. What I needed was YOU PEOPLE to show up covered in glitter and feather boas. Now that would have been a good evening... I'm sorry we weren't there for you this year, Carey. I wish we had been. -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Happy birthday!!! Yup, they do suck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 I went back and read this this morning and I feel like such a whiner. Wish I had never said it because I come off serious and materialistic. When really, I just felt ... insignificant. Like no one could be bothered or even remembered. And the one person who I totally felt like would, obviously is no longer here. But boy did it sound juvenile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnip Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Not juvenile at all. That's what we have made birthdays to be- to be recognized. We are recognized for being born, our entrance into the world. That we are HERE. Yes, it hurts when no one notices us. And that's a big hurt. Peace to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Not a whiner at all. It's just another thing to be missed not being half of a couple. Being the center of their world. I miss that too! Happy birthday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Not a whiner at all! When you've been the center of someone's world and then suddenly you are not, it's those special days and special moments that really sting. Why is it that other people in Our lives can't recognize that and step up to the plate? Even if others made a fuss, you would still miss your DH but it would ease the sting. Next year maybe plan something special for yourself, a mani/pedi or a massage. I have found that human touch (even if I am paying for it with a massage) helps me with that feeling that no one is there to take care of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 Oh I did plan something for myself. I rented a condo at the beach with an ocean view for the first time in my life because it was the off season and the rates were SO cheap. Spent 2 nights with my best friend so that was something. I thought it'd be a distraction from being here and no one remembering or doing anything, and it was, until I got home lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I'm glad you had the weekend away! But coming home, and back to reality is always tough. Big belated birthday hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 You're not a whiner, not at all! I agree with everything you wrote! I have come to really not like my birthday, I have gotten use to it just being another day. Late DH always gave me roses... the last abuser put money in my card, cause he was lazy, didn't feel like caring that day? Who knows, but yes, it does hurt. Just another one of those things that makes us feel so disconnected to those around us. Happy Belated Birthday!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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