Just having one of "those" days

[IfIonlycould]

I need to share this somewhere, somewhere that people will get it and not wonder when I will get over it.

 

Been going along quite well.  Had the day off today and spent it getting caught up on paperwork and cleaning the house.  Usually that makes me feel good.  Instead right now at this very moment I cannot stop thinking about my mother who died in 2012.  What were those last months like for her?  What was going through her mind?  Was she incredibly depressed after my brother moved her closer to him and basically took away her independence.  She always kept a brave face for us kids, even as she was lying in bed dying at the end so of course she never shared if she felt any of this.  Why wasn't my husband with me for all of this, well he died in 2008.  Don't know why this is happening today but it is....crying as I write this...I feel like I am having a pity party right now.  Me who tells myself acceptance is the key.  Ok I will accept that they died.  I will accept that this is my life to now live without them and learn to make the best of it.  But today I am grieving.

 

Thanks for letting me write it down so I don't have to be alone with it.  I can honestly say I'm not sure where I would be without this community.

[Trying]

Acceptance doesn't mean we can't be sad. Sometimes it hits for no good reason and you just have to grab a glass and settle into the pity party.

Hugs

[Beyondlife]

I miss you

 

No matter who we have in our life, or how good it is, we are allowed to miss and grieve for who and what we once had. 

I'm sorry you're having a tough day, but it's ok to have them.

 

Hugs my friend

[Mancino]

A, funny that I popped in here now and see your post about your mom.  I was feeling a bit the same the other day on my mom's birthday; she would have been 94 on Thursday.  She's been gone 13 years now and on occasion I still have to stop myself when I absentmindedly want to pick up the phone to call her.  Even though they never had a chance to meet, I often think of my mom and my husband at the same time.  Shortly after we started dating, my husband's mother died.  Then a few months later, my mom died.  In a weird way we sort of bonded over the deaths of our mothers. 

 

((Hugs))

 

 

[mmg19]

Not a pity party at all.  I'm glad you have this place to share those feelings.  I truly belief love never ends and the pain wanes, I will always have moments of grief.  I just called my Mom before seeing your post and got a lump in my throat when I realized I will not always have my Mom.  I talk with her daily not because I have to but because I want to.  I'm so sorry for the sadness you are feeling right now, but thinking what an amazing Mom she must have been and is smiling down on you.  (((Hugs))