Alexswife Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 will be what should have been our 3rd wedding anniversary. We never celebrated one together. The top of our wedding cake still sits in the freezer at my parents house, our wedding scrapbook remains undone. I haven't watched the video since he died. The last time we watched the video, we sat in my old bedroom with my whole family and watched it. He held me in his arms, we both cried happy tears because the love we shared was so amazing. Almost three years later and he's gone. I won't go to work on our anniversary because it will be to hard. Part of me just wants to lay in the bed and cry but another part of wants to check my nieces out of school and go on a day trip. That way I will be distracted. I don't know what to do. It's so hard without him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 hugs to you, Alexswife. I'm on a different timescale but I'm similar to you - the top of my wedding cake is in my mother's fridge, waiting for the birth of the firstborn child we'll never have, I haven't started the scrapbook for which Elle cut out photos before she died, and I haven't even had the official photos printed although I have seen them online. It's too painful right now and I need to protect my heart. Why can't you do both crying and distracting? Spend the morning sobbing, get it out, then distract yourself. Do something nice. Buy a treat. Cuddle your nieces and watch the excitement on their faces as you take them somewhere exciting. More hugs. G x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I agree with Grace. You can totally do both. Sending you peace and hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexswife Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 Thank you both. I like the idea of having my time and then going off and trying to escape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Alexswife, I got to have 2 anniversaries with my polarbear, but in 11 days, I will observe the second one he has missed. It must be even harder not to have been able to celebrate at all. Hugs to you! Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hikermom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I have nothing to offer but hugs and admiration for how far you have come. I have followed your journey and know how hard you have worked to put one foot in front of the other. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You will get through this milestone, as you have others. I hope you know how much people here care about you. (((Alexswife))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 In the fourteen months that I have been a member of this community and reading your posts, I have grown to have nothing but respect for you. I really have no words of comfort, but wanted you to know that you will make it through this anniversary, as you have other anniversaries before. I know it sucks, and I am so sorry you didn't even get to celebrate one anniversary with your Alex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexswife Posted May 24, 2015 Author Share Posted May 24, 2015 Thanks for all of the support. I spent our anniversary laying in bed watching netflix and crying. It was a horrible day but I survived. I miss him so much. In less than two months it will be three years since he left. Where did all of that time go? It seems like yesterday. My life has changed so much since that day but the pain stays the same. It's always with me, never fading. I love him more than I could ever express. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 (((((((HUGS))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I'm so sorry, AW. My upcoming 3rd wedding anniversary looms at the end of June. We celebrated only one wedding anniversary together. As I read your posts, each one paints the portrait of how lovestruck your marriage was and is. Wedding anniversaries are just tragic spent without the one who gave that day meaning. Hugs and hand pats, lil lady. Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Hugs...... What more is there to say. Widowhood sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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