the last of "hell week" ... Our wedding anniversary is today

[Carey]

Today should have been 19 years. I made it through the anniversary of his death and his birthday last week. I struggled but made it through thanksgiving.  Today I'm calling an audible and shutting down. I came to work for a half day, but I can't stay here. I'm going to do the bare minimum I have to and pray I don't have much patient/coworker interaction today and I'm going home.  I can't stand not being married anymore. I can't stand not having a person. MY person.  I can't stand that life is so fucked up and feels like it's never gonna get any better.  So today I'm sticking my head back in the sand because I miss him so much it's a tangible hurt. 

[donswife]

I am so sorry for these hard days for you

\you do what you need to so you can get through the day

take care

 

 

[sojourner]

Carey, may you be granted the endurance to get thru the rest of these really tough days. Peace to you as you figure out your path. None of this is easy!!

[Wheelerswife]

I'm glad you are at the end of your string of hard dates.  I'm not sure if it is a blessing or curse that they come close together.  My second husband died 5 days before his birthday.  I try to see it as having one really crappy week to get 2 important dates done.  Does that help?  I'm not sure, but I tell myself it does.

 

Maureen

[Torn]

I can't stand not being married anymore. I can't stand not having a person. MY person.  I can't stand that life is so fucked up and feels like it's never gonna get any better.

 

So so true,

  After being with spouse for 20 years,your feelings are on point with my own.

  After years if saying "i love you" I miss saying it to my wife.

 

Carey,

Bless your heart from a Man that's a year and 5 months out, it's sickening to know there's another person who feels this feeling aswell.

  I hope everyday is better for you.