Counseling

[SoVerySad]

I've been trying to get my 15 year old daughter to agree to try counseling for the past two years. Within the past few months I've noticed she's seemed more depressed and anxious. Recently she has kind of crashed and finally agreed to counseling. I called the practice my son and I both go to. They have an 8- 12 month wait list. Yes, months. I got her into our Pediatrician who informed me that is a normal recent wait time in our area. They're doing all they can do to try to help me find someone sooner as are some other resources, but nothing yet. Thankfully she's keeping open communication with me and has been spending more time with me than pulling away, but I am so worried about her.

 

Just sharing to make you aware if you have a child struggling, you may want to see what the wait time in your area is just to get on a wait list. I had no idea wait times could be so long.

[Guest TooSoon]

When it comes to mental health, there should be no wait.  I'm so sorry you all are going through a tough time.  I just called my aunt who is going to look into this for you.  xoxox

[trying2breathe]

Oh good grief, this is not right.  What do we do when a crisis situation occurs? 

 

I'm sorry that you're going through this, and hope for a fast resolution.  Hugs to you and your daughter. 

[Trying]

That is unbelievable!  Most people can't just sit on a problem for 8-12 months, we would ask someone with chest pains to wait that long to see a cardiologist.  I hope your daughter continues to be open with you and that other options become available while she still agrees to give counseling a shot.

[NoKindaDancer]

Sadly, there is a great shortage of children's mental health professionals. In texas, it is often much easier for me to get kids in with a counselor - meaning lpc, social worker, psychologist - usually within 2 weeks. But getting them in with MD psychiatrist that can prescribe antidepressants if needed is much harder like 6 months. Calling and getting on a wait list would be great if you can drop everything to be at an appointment short notice. Would they let you donate a time slot that you are scheduled for to your daughter instead since you are already established? Are there crisis centers available? Although she is not in crisis yet, sometimes going to the walk-in crisis center staffed 24-7 gets you into a counselor sooner. Is there a children's grief support center in your area? They often have more availablilty. Beg your pedi to call places and discuss how important it is that your daughter be seen sooner?

 

Sorry this is happening to you.

[SoVerySad]

Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I did try to give her either my son's appt with his counselor or mine with the Psychiatrist. No go - they said it would be unfair to those waiting. I tried to reason that it wouldn't be taking someone else's slot, just our own, but they wouldn't budge. We saw my son's counselor Monday. He told me he is trying to get her moved up the list. Her pediatrician got her started on an antidepressant, but of course they take time. Her Pediatrician says her nurse scheduler sometimes can work magic, so I hope she can. The only crisis service we have here is through our emergency room at the local hospital. She has such terrible associations with that ER due to us being informed there that they had been unable to revive my husband, as well as my trips there subsequent to his death. I think I would have to drag her there, but will if needed.

 

She said yesterday and today were very hard. She was on the verge of crying all day at school. Tonight she spent hours trying to do her schoolwork, but she's struggling with concentrating. I tried to help her organize her thoughts, etc. but she wasn't as receptive to my help tonight. It hurts to see her hurting and say she doesn't see anything good ahead in the future for her. I am so angry tonight that our kids have to deal with such painful heavy losses so young.

 

Looks like no sleep for me tonight.

 

Thank you again for responding.

[Guest TooSoon]

Hi sweet friend, I've been thinking about you and wish I could give all three of you giant hugs (you know, the kind that make teenagers cringe). 

 

I hope you don't mind that I am going to post this here.  It seems like it could be useful information for someone else somewhere down the line.  This morning I spoke with my aunt who is a child psychologist.  Here are some of her suggestions: 

 

1) Contact the Pennsylvania Psychological Association (Harrisburg) and get someone on the phone and tell them your story and see if they have any referrals (Chapters exist in other states as well). 

 

2) Check to see if there is a Family Services agency in your city/town.  She said there usually is one. They may not have PhDs in psychology but people with MSWs (Masters of Social Work) who would be appropriate.  (my therapist is an MSW)  The benefit of this option, she said, is that they are flexible about reducing any fees or setting up alternate payment options. 

 

3) Check with Jewish or Catholic Family Services for the same as above.  ETA: one need not be Catholic or Jewish to qualify for services.

 

4) If your children are adopted, seek resources from the agency you worked with or another agency. 

 

I hope this is helpful and I'm sending you lots of love and support. 

[SoVerySad]

Thank you so much, TS. I appreciate the help. Please thank your aunt for me.

 

Love and hugs...

[iloveyoualways]

So very sad,  I'm sorry that you are going through with this. I don't live in your country but I waited nine months for an appointment with a psychiatrist with my son. If it came to crisis I would have taken him to a children's hospital emergency or to a pediatrician (we have one clinic in a neighboring city which does not require a referral).  Now I may have to take him back due to behavioural issues.

 

We took part in group counselling. The parents went and talked about their issues while the children did art and music therapy. I also worked on a suicide and crisis line and was made aware of phone or online resources for teenagers. There are some phone lines for those bereaved individuals too.

 

If an MD puts her on an antidepressant please, please watch her closely. Some have black box warnings and increase suicidality in teenagers. Please do your research and possibly suggest those which you feel comfortable with. I did not put my then five year old on antidepressants and did some cognitive behavioural therapy with him by myself. Our children's hospital had workbooks, which seemed too advanced for him, but I started them with a psychiatric nurse. I found this resource through the Infant and mental health program.

 

I hope that I have given you some resources which could be useful even though we live in different countries. I wish you and your daughter the best.