Jump to content

Question for Online Daters


StillWidowed
 Share

Recommended Posts

It's basically an opening line, nothing more, nothing less.

Those are usually the ones that want sex only, or sexting buddies, or are scammers. There may be the odd exception but, if a man wants to know the real you, he probably won't start off like this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Offended. Terms of endearment (in this case "beautiful" qualifies) need to be earned. I mean, my dad and my husband used terms of endearment, and when guys I don't know use then, I think, who do think you are? Do you actually think you're on par with them? And telling me I'm sexy before we've gotten to know one another is just creepy.

 

My BF never mentioned my looks, until our first date when all he said was that my pictures did not do me justice. He told me later that he was very blown away, but did not want to come off as only interested in that. He had to restrain himself from "checking me out" too much. In fact, I was starting to wonder if he was really attracted to me at all, a fact he finds pretty comical. It was only after thing became physical that he expounded on my looks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When a man starts a conversation off with "Hey beautiful or "You're really sexy" are you offended or flattered?

 

Well, I usually set up a date and then when we met up - I hit him over the head with my man purse - but then, I'm a guy.

 

;) It's a jungle out there. - Mike

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Scammers are people who are out to try to lure someone into thinking they are connecting to a legitimate person.  Sometimes, they will go great lengths to develop a "connection" with you.  They will eventually try to get you to send money or give up your identifying information.  I can spot them because they often have unusual English...like it isn't their first language.  They say things in funny, formal ways.  They don't say, "My name is George."  They say, "I am called George."  They don't answer direct questions.  I can tell that they cut and paste responses to say what they want to say.  I've seen inconsistencies in what is in their profile and what they say in chat.  Their profiles may be well written and in normal American English, but their chat has a different style and lots of grammar and spelling errors.  I had one guy tell me his name was Pual (yeah, not Paul) and his name on his profile was Tony.  Often they approach widows and say they are widowed, but don't want to talk about their loss because it hurts too much.  (Ever met a wid that wouldn't tell another wid about their late spouse?  No?  Thought so!)  I've also hear the exact same way that a 50-something lost his wife "trying to give me a child."  I've probably seen that 5 times.  Exact same wording.  I spent some time chatting just to figure things out before I tried messaging anyone - learning the ropes.  I don't know how many profiles I have reported...and I've also wasted some people's time by pressing them into a conversation, only to tell them I knew they were scammers.  They disappear quite quickly!

 

I've always been honest with people I have chatted with...real people...when I wasn't seeing enough to want to continue conversing.  Polite, kind, and I think that feeling has been pretty much mutual and the other parties appreciated the approach.

 

Anyone else want to chime in?  I've not been at this very long, but I did spend some time checking out a couple sites long before I was ready to date.

 

Maureen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Other scammer red flags:

 

- they take their profile down (or it is removed by the site ) quickly

- big change in language and grammar from first contact to regular e-mails (they usually hand off to another person!)

- their location changes from their profile or first contact to later

- any of their locations mention Nigeria, Ghana, Somalia, Turkey

 

Most of these are NOT individuals, they are organized criminals.  They have been dead easy for me to spot, fortunately.

 

Take care,

Rob T

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Scammers.....What Maureen and Rob said, plus...

 

They always have an excuse not to meet you,

They are away on business for a few weeks,

They are new to town,

They are widowers, (sad I know, they think it will get them sympathy)

They are pipeline engineers,

They are gold merchants,

They are quickly enamoured with you....

 

I like to waste their time too! And then report them.

I tell them to send me a pic of themselves, on their trip, in front of a tourist attraction! They vanish right after that! 😁

 

I've had lots lately. 😨

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.