It has been a rough go

[2ManyQuestions]

HI,

 

Maybe I am just venting and I know I am not the only person in world with issues and being widowed twice. Lots of questions with no answers. Life lesson, I am not sure of.

 

One day at a time as tomorrow is really too far.

 

Everyday my thoughts are not here.

 

I truly miss them both.

[Amor]

I wish this road was not this rough. Vent away.

[2ManyQuestions]

People suggest to move forward I am up to that so I ask, what does that mean? What would they like to see, no answers. For me I know my path. moving forward is slow, one has to rebuild within, find out who they are and what they are once again

[2ManyQuestions]

Find love once is great to find love a second time is rare, this is my opinion. To be widowed twice really WTF, both of them got short changed in life.  So a lot of what I believed in one time has all gone out the window.

[Wheelerswife]

2ManyQuestions,

 

I am also widowed twice.  My second husband was an incredible man, also widowed himself.  He died unexpectedly in his sleep.  Why???  I know there is no good answer to that question.  I had already started a new life with him, made all kinds of transitions (like moving half way across the country, leaving my old profession and going back to school) and then the rug was pulled out from under me.

 

It has been over 2 years...the hardest 2 years of my life.  I still had school...and more school...which, along with traveling during my school breaks, has kept me moving (forward, I guess?)  I finish my Master's in December, and then I need to figure out where the next segment of my life is going.  No matter how hard I look for answers, they come slowly.  I know my career field (Higher Education) but I don't know exactly what or where I want to live.

 

As far as belief systems, I don't believe in any higher power. I don't think there is any "reason" why my husbands died.  I know the causes of their deaths, which were purely medical situations.  Human bodies have their limits.  I know, though, what real happiness is, and I want to be happy.  I know great sadness, too, more than my share if there was something like fairness in this life.  In the midst of my set-backs and hard times, I try to keep my eyes on trying to understand what will make me happy, whether that is an honest human interaction, a snuggle with my dog when anxiety is kicking my butt, or some time overlooking the view of a snow-capped volcano.  Life is short.  Somehow, I am determined to find a way to be happy...although I wish it would come together sooner.  I'm not good at waiting.

 

Hugs to you.  PM me if you want to talk.

 

Maureen

[2ManyQuestions]

Thx for you response and kindness.

 

My wife as widowed as well. Her husband passed away a few mths prior to my wife. We knew each other thru our kids, it was awesome relationship. We thought we had been dealt these cards and the future look bright.  I always said it was a match made in heaven but once again, this time with no notice life changes directions. What people see is not truly me. I smile for my kids but, heartbroken and lost inside.

Happiness was yesterday. Someday I hope to find inner peace.

Not sure where one goes when we leave here cant be all for nothing.