Too much for me

[LTSLforever]

I don't post much but I guess I need to vent.  I was sick and admitted to the hospital for a week.  Same hospital where Steve died.  Emotionally, it was very difficult for me.  I wanted out so badly but I could not leave until my medical issue was resolved.  So this past Monday I was released.  I thought I would be very happy to go home but all the emotions came back full force when I got home.  It was like I was losing Steve all over again. Well, it keeps getting worse.  I have written before that my mom has leukemia.  She has been hospitalized many times and is currently in a rehab/skilled nursing home for physical and occupational therapy.  This morning she fell and was transferred to the hospital that I was in (and where Steve died) because it has a trauma unit. I hate that hospital but I had to go back there again today.  Mom is stable but she needed staples in her head and has bleeding in the brain.  This is too much for me.  I don't know what to do. 

[Trying]

My heart goes out to you, I understand feeling like it's all too much.  Keep venting and coming here for support, we can hold each other up.

[SoVerySad]

I am so very sorry for all you are going through right now. Those hospital triggers can be so very hard, especially when you are sick already. Sometimes it truly does feel so overwhelming, just too much. In those times, I've had to just take things hour by hour, because day by day was too much to handle. Know that we are here to support you as much as we can, because most of us have found ourselves at the point where it just feels like too much at one time or another (or several times).

 

Sending you tight hugs and my sincere hopes that your mom recovers quickly...

[Tatianakm]

My heart goes out to you; sucks that after loss of your dear Steve you can't catch a break. That should be enough already, yet the life keeps putting one challenge after another in your path. Lean on us, use this forum to share and vent. Hugs and strength to you. 

[LTSLforever]

The last time  my mom was hospitalized the hospital oncologist said my mom had 3 months to live.  I think that was several weeks ago; I can't even remember.  He is not my mom's main oncologist; he only sees her when she is hospitalized.  Her main oncologist said mom is too frail for more chemo so that's currently on hold. He did not necessarily agree with the 3 months since my mom seems to always bounce back.  Neurologist said mom has had several mini strokes. Although I don't want to face reality, it is staring me in the face.  My mom has fallen so many times and with each fall she takes many steps backwards.  I just don't know how much more her body can handle. I had, am still having and will always have a very difficult time with Steve's death - it is almost 8 months since I lost him.  I am not ready to do this again.  I don't see any joy in life; just never ending pain. Is this really my life?  I need to wake up from this very bad dream.  I need Steve to come back to me and I need my mom to be okay. 

[First Widow]

I am so very sorry.  (((Hugs))) Prayers for you both.

[linda5]

I am so sorry for all the pain you are experiencing.  You are in my prayers.  Just keep holding on.

[SoVerySad]

Sending you more tight hugs...