Having a day

[Kater]

It's one of those days.  Can't stop crying.  All I want to do is curl up in his arms, cry my eyes out and hear him tell me everything is going to be OK.  of course, if that was possible, it would not be needed. 

 

In hindsight, I probably should not have volunteered to get up at 5:30 (not enough sleep to withstand the trials of the day) to help with a community breakfast at the funeral home this morning.  The funeral home he worked at.  The place I planned his funeral AND the place my church uses for worship every Sunday.  How is that for a trigger spot?  Not sure it was the building as much as seeing everyone who was involved with his funeral and talking about him, how I am doing, etc etc.  One of the funeral directors told me he has not been able to delete S's number from his phone.  I told him it was alright because I still haven't cancelled it, so he could phone anytime. 

[Mrskro]

I'm sorry you are having a day.  So many triggers for you!  Sending hugs.

 

I'm almost two years out and still can't bring myself to cancel his phone!

[SK]

Oh Kate, I'm so sorry you had such a day!  There must be something with the time from which our Sweethearts left us…I was completely despondent today/this evening myself!  It's not the 29th, nor is it Tuesday … who knows what the trigger was?!!  I pray for a better day for both of us tomorrow! 

God bless you, Dear!

SK

[Tatianakm]

Hugs, Kater. This day indeed was a difficult one for you; funeral home alone is a big enough trigger! I can't even imagine stepping into one- would probably have a melt down. You are brave! It is so gracious of you thinking about helping others and serving the community. Be gentle to yourself, take care of yourself first- there will be plenty of time for you to engage in your community life.

 

I left my husband's cell phone in his suit pocket, so he is burried with it. Driving behind the hearse my brother-in-law suggeted we call it and freak out the driver. We chuckled and all agreed that my husband would be all over this one- always loved off the cuff jokes and pranks. My sister-in-law tells me that she texts him from time to time. Bittersweet...

 

(Hugs)

[SoVerySad]

I'm sorry you had such a difficult day. That really was a lot of triggers. Sending you tight hugs...

[Kater]

Thanks for the comments everyone.  It is nice to have a place where I can just vent and know you all get it.  Went for a coffee with a friend yesterday. We had such a great visit.  Two of her sisters lost their husbands (in the same year) so she was very sympathetic and understanding.  It was really nice and got me out of the funk I was in.  I guess these are the grief waves I have heard about.  Things are going along pretty well, then wham!  Hello grief. 

 

Tatianakm - I love the idea of burying the cell phone and being able to send texts.  The cool thing is that anyone can do it and nobody knows what was sent.