Friday nights suck when you're newly widowed

[Guest TooSoon]

My husband died in February 2013.  It was dead winter and I would claw my way through the work week and then Friday night would come and there was no plan, no one to hang out with and just utter exhaustion.  I hated Friday nights.  I know Saturday nights are terrible for another reason and we have our thread devoted to Saturday nights (will try to dig it up) but its Friday night and we're home waiting for a thunderstorm, hoping we don't lose electricity this time and having a beverage and will probably watch the latest guilty pleasure in my life, "Friends from College" on Netflix later.  What's on deck for your Friday night?  Cheers! 

[sojourner]

The cuke-apocalypse has begun in my garden, so I'm canning pickles and keeping an eye on my teenage rebel child, who's grounded yet again with increasingly concerning behavior issues, despite ongoing counseling.

 

Said pickles to be eaten by myself alone, at a later date, as my last child at home isn't a fan. I'm not sure why I'm bothering. :-\

 

In the "before" days, if LH were here, and not sick, we might go out to eat, or else do a nice supper and movie date night at home, while the kids hung out with friends. I haven't been for a dinner out at night pretty much since the end days of his cancer battle, with maybe 1-2 family occasions as exceptions. So, over 3 1/2 years now.

[imissdow]

Friday night's have been pizza and a movie (netflix/Redbox)night  ever since lh died. Took me ovet a year to be able to actually watch a movie. Nowdays there's no pizza. Took me even longer to start cooking again. H will be in bed soon and me, I'll probably watch NCIS , I have I think one more season to go. I never thought I would be happy to have my oldest ,now almost 21 still at home. Makes it a little less lonely. Oddly enough had my lived I would probably be doing the same thing, just would have had adult company.   

[RyanAmysMom]

Oh, TooSoon, you're reading my mind!  Work all week and look forward to the weekend, and then..... what.?  Nothing.  No plans, totally lonely, bored, too much time to think.......  My kids are teens now, so they are out with friends or having friends over, but I still feel lonely....

 

I teach school, and school starts in about 10 days, so I've resigned myself to "working" which basically means cruising teachers' blogs looking for good ideas..... 

 

 

[Sugarbell]

When I was newly widowed...Friday night outing was lugging a preschooler, toddler and baby to McDonalds so my boys could run in circles at the indoor playland and I could get out of the house. I'd sit for hours people watching.

 

Think that was the only restaurant we went to for 3 years. The other places were too exhausting with 3 little kids by myself. 😣

[Wheelerswife]

Friday nights were date nights for us. He would come in the house from work and we would be like giddy kids because we were so excited about having the weekend together. We went to the local watering hole, enjoyed our dinner, and went home for a romantic evening.

 

After he died, Friday nights were really tough. Eventually, I came to appreciate Friday nights because I could go home and into my cocoon and I knew I could get through the next 48 hours without having to put my brace face on.

 

Maureen

[Julester3]

Fridays were nearly always mine to do as I wish. Josh used to have game nights at his friend's house most Fridays. They are huge tabletop gamers. The kids and I would go to the movies or chill out at home together so we still do that. If he were home, we'd catch up on shows on our DVR and hang out together. Nowadays if the kids have their own activities, I'm still parked in front of the tv. I just keep my hands busy - I crochet or play games on my phone or I have my laptop.

[Guest TooSoon]

TGIF!  TGIF?  It's Friday night again so I'm just checking in.  I have both a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and a cup of coffee by my side for happy hour.  Soon I'm going to make some dinner with whatever is left from our garden haul this week, fold some laundry and watch Glow --- the most self-indulgent guilty pleasure ever - on Netflix later.  And you? 

[sojourner]

Friday again. Whoopee. : Have the house to myself tonight for the first time in awhile, so enjoying not being whined at with one bit of teenaged angst or another for the night!

 

Did some gardening, then picked an old '50's B-movie to stream off Amazon. Seems fitting to go with a little bit of boxed wine! ;D

[MissingBilly]

Friday nights have been terrible for me--DH worked the evening shift Sun-Thur, so we only had from when I got off of work on Friday until he went to work Sunday afternoon as our true "us" time.

 

In recent weeks Friday night has been me sniffling along to TLC's Long Lost Family. Oddly cathartic, and maybe somewhere deep down my subconscious is dreaming of a reunion of my own some day....

 

 

[Mizpah]

So true, TooSoon.  We would race through the work week to get to Friday nights, when we'd be so happy to have the weekend together.  Also, he left for work Friday morning, super excited for our weekend, and by noon, the accident had happened and he was about to go into brain surgery (obviously, to no avail).  Friday nights were the worst for me, worse even than Sundays, which were a close second.  "Lucky" for me, we are Jewish, and he was extremely devoted to and proud of our Jewish heritage - I was not observant at all.  Once he died, I wanted to honor him with every thing I did, and so I started going straight from work to Friday night synagogue services.  It's one of the things that saved my life - to have that replacement routine, to not have to go straight home to the emptiness my life was.  It was a place of solace and beauty and stillness and reflection for me - also, it was good to be around people, even though I was alone.  And know where I'd go immediately after?  Home to talk (type, really) to the widows who made me feel sane and not alone on the predecessor to this board/forum.    Hang in there, everyone - you will find your footing again.