I'm the bad mom today

[Carey]

My 16 year old son is on Spring Break this week. This is the week they are holding driver's ed.  They are real sticklers ... if you miss a day, if you are 5 minutes late, if you chew gum, check your phone ...etc. you're out till the next time it is offered. They are also going to start charging for driver's ed. This session and the one in May is IT for the free ones.  The one in may is all 5 Saturdays in the month.  Okay so I stressed to Jacob that it was important to get up early and be ready for his ride because if not, he'd miss it. He did good yesterday and Monday but today he wasn't up when my friend went to pick him up (I woke him up when I was leaving for work, he went back to sleep). So now he has missed a day so it's over for him this go round.  I told him that we have vacation planned in May (the first since Chad died) and I'm not willing to sacrifice my vacation so that he can go to Driver's Ed because he felt the need to take a nap this morning. I'm a little miffed, I have to admit, because this particular friend who was picking him up, I took her husband to work before 7 a.m. so that she COULD take Jacob and she didn't even walk in and wake him up.  Just honked and left.  This is the same person who I take her middle schooler with Aspergers to school EVERY day and Many many times I have to go in the house and get her or help her finish getting ready). I was upset she just left Jacob, but really, it's on him at the end of the thing.  So , I'm not willing to lose my vacation, or spend $300 for the next set, so am I a terribly rotten parent to say he now has to wait till hes 18? Driving is a privilege and if he didn't want it bad enough to get up and go , why should it create an emergency on my part?

[smabify]

If he doesn't prioritize his driver's ed, why should you? Take the vacation, and tell him he now has to wait until you are ready for him to go, or he has to cough up the money for it himself.

 

Stay tough, mama! You are not being unreasonable at all.

[PhotoJunkie]

Your not the bad parent.  At age 16, he should be more than capable of getting himself up and out the door on time for his own interests.  I could understand if the electricity had gone out or something like that but obviously you were able to get up and out the door, so should he. 

 

You should not have to rearrange your vacation for him to take the classes.  My guess is if you did, he would end up missing one or being late to one anyway.  This is a good lesson for him to learn re time management and respect for others. 

 

Im so sorry it has you stressed out  

 

Lynn

[Trying]

You are teaching him a lesson, if it was important to him he would've gotten himself up. If he wants it bad enough he will get a job and pay for drivers Ed. Teens are the most frustrating creatures!

[Carey]

thank you so much ya'll for the validation.  I really feel like I'm beating my head against the wall.  A LOT.  They are teenagers and I understand inherently self focused but I feel like a life support system at times, with nothing to sustain ME

[Virgo]

I agree that if he couldn't be bothered to get up then he obviously didn't want his driver's license that bad. If you have someone that he can stay while your on vacation I might give him the option to stay home and attend driver's ed and miss out on the vacation.