I miss him

[widowat33]

That's all really.

I had a dream, actually it was on the day that marked nine months out. I keep begging him to pull over if he gets tired driving (they suspect he fell asleep at the wheel causing his accident) and he keeps saying I just want to get home. I explain that he died because he fell asleep, and I am hugging him, and then the phone rings waking me up. Ugh

I know a lot of people love dreaming about them, maybe I will too when I am further out. Right now it hurts so much. Because when I wake up I miss that feeling of being in his arms, talking to him. While I am dreaming I know he's gone in real life, but at that moment he's right there with me and it makes it so much harder when I wake up.

I am looking forward to the days when these dreams bring me peace instead of bringing me sadness...

[robunknown]

6 months out I finally had a dream with her in it. I didn't actually remember the dream when I woke up, I just remembered her feeling close by and I knew I did. If felt nice, but the cold hard truth came shortly after. The brain is a funny thing.

[swilson]

{hug} widowat33, I think it would be awful to be fully aware he's gone and yet be dreaming of pleading with him to pull over. Like robunknown, most of my dreams have been good and comforting except for one that was so vivid I expected her to be lying next to me as I woke up only to be hit with reality again  :'(

[MrsT85]

((HUGE HUGS)) widowat33.  We also suspect my husband died when he fell asleep behind the wheel, and I remember when I was just a month or two out having a dream where he was driving somewhere, and before he left, I took his face in my hands and told him to " please be very very careful."  While at that point it was in some part just nice to see his face again, the pleading with him to please avoid the very behavior that led to his death was just devastating. 

 

No advice, I'm afraid...I'm at two years out now, and unfortunately I don't dream of him much anymore.  I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in having this type of dream.

[Amor]

Missing my Love so much!  It hurts to wake up knowing again that my love is not here.  But for those few seconds of having peace think he is there is worth the pain later.  I hope you can have comfort with the small moments of being with him again.  I became a widow a 32.  All I need is him back in my arms. 

[Carey]

I totally understand. I wanted SO much to dream of him. When I do it's hit or miss. Sometimes they are good, sometimes I am in the room watching as he is drinking and I know he's going to die and I keep trying to stop him and he doesn't hear me.  No matter which way it goes, waking up is viscerally painful. I miss him sooooooooo damn much.  Daily.  I hope that at some point maybe the dreams can bring you comfort. 

[Guest tableforone]

My husband died behind the wheel of his car. I had horrible nightmares for two years. Occasionally I had a nice dream. I am over 7 years out now and rarely dream of him, but when I do it is so wonderful. But for a couple of years, I dreaded sleeping because I was afraid of the dreams.

 

Big hug to you.