MissingSquish Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Spring is a time of renewal for many people, but for me, it still has been a major trigger. Squish died in the spring, and I've been feeling a huge resurgence of grief lately. It doesn't feel any different than last year around this time, and I'm finding that I am starting to obsess about the upcoming sadiversary and his birthday. I started a new job in February and I haven't told them that I am widowed (and I don't want to as I see this as a new start for me). I am afraid that my mood around the sadiversary will be transparent and that I will need to tell them. My dog also hasn't been feeling well (I took her to the vet yesterday, she should be ok in a few days). I see her getting older, and I am growing more anxious about her dying. She is the only thing I have left from Squish, and I can't comprehend the day that she is no longer here. Thanks in advance to my supportive widda posse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Yes, ma'am, I'm right there with you. Truthfully, my downward spiral began afresh circa New Year's Eve. But spring has been plain torturous. The sadiversary was March 13, so that didn't help to exactly kick-start this season. Everything's in bloom, yet I remain in doom. I'm so sorry, MS. Spring should feel like a hopeful season with its weather tempering, floral beauty, and pastel hues everywhere. Yet, it kinda underscores my personal pain, not unlike what you describe. Oh, anndd, I've ravaged two cases of Russell Stover's cream eggs. That's right. Cases. Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I feel you. Spring has been tough - every time I see a new bloom, I think about how excited Marsha would get. She loved flowers and springtime. Add on top of that my mom flaked on taking my daughter out to eat yesterday, I wasn't able to be there for a friend yesterday that really needed me, and I have been fighting off a migraine since 4am this morning. So, I sit in my office with the door shut - my coworkers either think I am having a bad day, or being super-productive. They probably know it is the former... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 Thanks so much guys for sharing your stories and your words of support. I had a full on meltdown last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I'm sorry you're having a hard time, and I hope your pup is okay. Next to fall, when he died, spring is the hardest for me. We started dating in the spring. That made it my favorite season before. It always brought me back to those heady days of falling in love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Sorry MS - you have a lot going on right now.....and, like you, I am a May widow. I went through a very sad period recently so I can relate to what you are saying on the timing. The important thing right now is that you are good to yourself....and treat yourself well. If you find you need to take time off work surrounding the sadiversary, then do it....I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch and I hope it passes (and your pup feels better) ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted April 18, 2015 Author Share Posted April 18, 2015 Thanks so much for your support guys. Making sure I have a busy weekend filled with fun and being around supportive friends helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaP Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Hey sweetie! I'm right there with ya! Springtime is so hard, for a number of reasons. It used to be the time Mick and I would gear up for the start of golf season. Also our anniversary in April would jump start the nice weather. It's hard when these days come and they are not here with us to share in them HUGE HUGS!!! Donna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Thanks DonnaP. Sorry to hear that spring is hard for you too, but I'm happy for the understanding and support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marian1953 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I hope you are feeling a little better, MissingSquish. big ole hugs to you. Marian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Spring is really a tough one. My husband was an amazing gardener this is my first one with out him He has made our backyard a wonderful sanctuary, He called gardening his zen and it showed in all his work You would never think by seeing him that he loved to garden (Shaved head ,Tattoos and goatee) He would always say "this is all for you" so Its a little bittersweet to start seeing his gardens starting to wake up without him here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Thank you guys so much. Huge hugs to you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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