Peace in unexpected places.

[momtokam]

I am out of town for my friends funeral.

I came in yesterday for the visitation, my heart broke for her family.

I could not say things to them that I had said to to me at my husband's services. Things like, she is in a better place, you need to be strong for your kids. ...etc.

I told them it sucked that she was gone, I told them it's going to hurt like hell for a long time. I told them to take care of each other and support and love each other. I sat and listened to what they had to say......seeing my friend made me cry and made me smile for the amazing person she was.

 

After I took a walk by myself around my hotel. Walking in complete silence, taking in my surroundings, brought me a sense of peace. I was not rushing from here to there, getting things done.

 

I just was.

 

 

[BrokenHeart2]

"I was just". I get it.  Sorry for the loss of your friend.

[Lmsmdm]

I am glad you were able to find a moment of peace. I definitely can relate to finding peace when you least expect it.

[Carey]

Those are rare precious moments.  It's funny, just as grief jags come up and hit us in ways we aren't expecting, so do moments of peace. And I'll tell ya, I'm not entirely sure what I myself believe on this subject but in my heart just now I thought, maybe your DH knew how losing your friend would hurt and he either came or sent something to give you peace.  I want to believe things like that happen, so I'm gonna choose to say they do.  It just seems right that if they can see us and know when things are bad that maybe they can comfort us in small ways.  Sounds good anyway (((HUGS)))

[PhotoJunkie]

Big hugs mom!!  I love those photos.  Im glad that you were able to find peace in the middle of what must be an emotional roller coaster. 

[HvnBound]

Wow, MTK, what a true blessing of a friend you are to not saw those things most of us heard in the very beginning from all of the DGIs in our lives. I am so glad that you felt that sense of peace during a difficult time.

[momtokam]

Thank you all.....it really was a hard day today.

 

Carey, I would love to believe that he somehow brought peace to me yesterday. I don't really feel him a lot and I wonder if something is wrong with me. I hear about others feeling their loved ones near and I feel left out.

 

PJ, yes very much a roller coaster the last few days.

 

HVB, it is so tempting to say the DGI things, it's like we are conditioned to say those things as some kind of comfort. I just couldn't though because it felt dishonest.

 

[Ursula]

Momtokam, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. We are so vulnerable and somehow some of us don't seem to get a break. I am glad you got a moment of peace. And it is ok that you did not give your friends family the standard phrases. You told them what you know and you believe and that is ok and they know and are likely glad that at least someone did not join in the general chant. Hugs and may you feel better .