Guest Lost35 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Because I need this place, but sometimes I am so annoyed with the things that are going on in the day-to-day that I feel it is difficult to be happy for others, sometimes. Forgive me. Please. Stuff I learned about what happened years ago that I didn't know. A book was written! A *&$%ing book! Broken water heater, broken computer, broken new computer, broken lots of things. I still love him more than anyone else. Can't help it. Good friend's wife is terminally ill, good friends' child is very ill and they are suffering. Feeling weak. (I hate that.) Father's Day (the first "real" one). Kindergarten Graduation tomorrow and I don't want to cry, but it is really hurting that P. is missing so much! Year six is feeling like year two, for some reason. Just ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Hugs to you Lost35 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 The little things add up, I'm sorry you seem to have an extra plate full right now. Feel free to grumble. And go ahead and cry at kindergarten graduation, other moms will be too, for reasons you may never know. (((Hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATJ Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Hold on!! (((L.))), I have heard you!! Sometimes cumulative life experiences come to such a crescendo that the emotional lid flies off - and understandably so! Lots to carry on your shoulders for so long, and all alone. It's good that you can come here to let out your scream of frustration, loud and clearly. It is heard by an entire chorus of "fellow screamers" who, for their own reasons, get it. May bright Rays of Light shine into your darkness and renew Hope for a better tomorrow! Warm (((HUGS))) from a "fellow screamer"! ATJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marjoe Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 There's nothing to be forgiven for - you're human. I've felt similarly - year six and I'm feeling similar feelings (resentment, anxiety, general pissiness) that I felt in years one and two. Well, maybe two. One I was a freaking zombie. ((Hugs)), Lost! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 See, I come here feeling lost and alone and tired and grumpy and then you all show up and make me feel better... Thank-you. -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIonlycould Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Amazing isn't it how you can get to year six, be moving along and then Whammo! it hits again!?!?! Yep have been there. Sorry it's all piling up and yes aren't we lucky to all have one another if this is the journey we had to take? (((((HUGS))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mancino Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 May I add a sorta grumble? Today was my wedding anniversary....the fifth one since he's been gone. In reality it was just another day, but of course it was (and still is) on my mind. Against my common sense, I kinda hoped someone else in my family would have remembered, but alas, no. No big deal after so many years, but I figured I could come here and just give a big sigh. :-\ I did go by the cemetery...even though I have never felt him there, I stop by on occasion because it's a nice quiet place to just sit and think (my parents are there, too). Usually, that is. Of course today when I go by, it's lawn care day...mowers and weed whackers and blowers, oh my. Just a constant whir of machines and exhaust. DH was not really a cemetery person, so I guess it was his way of telling me to "snap out of it!" and get out of there, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I think there is more than enough room for more grumbles...I'm sorry no one thought to say anything on your anniversary. Grumbling helps, I think. Take care, -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Sorry Lost35... I do think venting helps, especially to people who undertand and are going through it. I was really missing my husband the other day and am at year 3 so I guess this really doesnt go away. The special benchmark moments for our children are particularly hard without them. I know my husband and our son would have been so close - and it breaks my heart that my 4 year old is without him and never really knew him. Looking at all the FB postings of the two parent families on Fathers Day was somewhat painful. Not fair...seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 We didn't do anything for Father's Day and in fact stayed close to the house. I stay away from FB on those sorts of days, as much as possible. It is painful. I wish your son knew his Dad as well. It seems like such a little thing that a boy should have the opportunity to love his Dad when he is a little guy. It was funny, I was fine during the ceremony until the end of the slide show which showed baby photos and current photos of the grade sevens leaving the school. Anything to do with time seems to get me. I suddenly realised when I'm looking at that older face, I will still be wishing Dad could see it, too. Kept it together, but thankfully the lights were off. Take care. -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Year Six... yea, where does it go? It'll be six years for me in September. You're allowed to grumble! How did Kindergarten graduation go? Ugh, I know that was a bitter sweet evening. {{{HUGS}}} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I think my greatest memory will be of my little guy, lying back, relaxed and twirling around on the tire swing in the playground at twilight, thinking aloud, "I can't believe I've made it to Grade One already...". That sums up the evening best. -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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