Not a believer in signs, but....

[Wheelerswife]

Last night I updated my computer and left it open and went to bed.  This morning, I had to kick it in to finish the update.  For some reason, the first screen to open was my email, and it opened to an email from my second husband John dated 7/22/11.  It was a simple message with a photo attached. 

 

In the photo, I am standing near a sign in Corniglia, Cinque Terre, on the Mediterranean coast of Italy. I am red-faced, having just climbed 33 flights of stairs.  I am wearing a sturdy knee brace, as I had injured my knee just a couple of weeks before our scheduled trip to Italy.  My knee was so unstable that it would buckle with almost every step I took.  (I had surgery about 6 weeks after the trip to repair what damage was repairable.)

 

John's simple message in that email was:  "Any time you feel challenged, look at this picture."

 

John knew what it took from me to climb those stairs (well, just to even walk) at that point, but I was determined that this knee injury was not going to keep me from enjoying our trip to Italy.

 

Life's roller coaster continues...and I have been feeling a bit low in the last few days.  I had a job interview on Friday.  I was feeling energized about it, but I am back in the waiting game as that search committee continues its own (slow) interview process.  So a message from John...and such an apropos message at that...was heartwarming.

 

Maureen

[MR]

Hugs and Good luck.

[Trying]

Whether you choose to see it as a sign from John or just a wonderful reminder of the wise and caring man he was, it's beautiful.

 

Fingers and toes crossed you get good news on the job soon!

[Leadfeather]

I feel the same way about signs. But I hadsomething similar happen. At our wedding she walked down the aisle to Vivaldi's Four Seasons. So that song has always held a special place in my heart. Last year when I was depositing the life insurance (which she insisted we get) paying off the house, and removing her name from the accounts;  Vivaldi’s Four Seasons started at playing over the bank’s speakers. That song was like a bookend to our marriage. It was like she was saying goodbye and telling me I would be alright because she had taken care of us financially.

[jeudi]

Grew up in the Catholic church and fell out early. Non religious Dad, devout mother who was devastated when I fell away from her religion. I never had any uneasy feeling about leaving it except that I had too many questions that nobody could answer and I didn't want to fake it.

 

I've studied religion though, because so many people are with it and to be without it leaves one feeling on the outs. As Joni Mitchell said in one of her songs "I think I understand, fear is like a wilderland"

 

So, when i say I believe in signs it isn't meant to be preachy as maybe this stuff is just between my LH John and me. The signs he throws my way are specific, undeniable, beyond the realm of being able to brush them off as coincidence. Largely magical. Always needed. They keep me going and let me feel connected to him still after 15 years.

 

After many, many years of getting his nod from wherever, I, like Joni Mitchell, think I understand. Some part of him abides. At this point I'm pretty sure it is LOVE. 

 

When I make a new thread here and at YWBB, it is almost always about the signs I receive. I suppose for me, hearing someone say that are not a believer in signs is akin to someone who believes in a very specific God hearing from me that I am not so sure about all of that. I would very much like for you to be able to fully feel your John's signs as i feel the signs I get from my John.

 

But, as a person who has felt the onus of judgement from other people, even those who love me, that i am missing out on something important that I know isn't a part of who I am, I should likely have kept this to myself.

 

And still, this John who loves you has kissed you on the forehead and given you a message. At least that is how I see it.

 

xoxo

 

Judy

[Eddienhp]

Wow. So cool. I get signs too. They always come when I am struggling; just about at wits end. Dimes, scents and dreams. Its not too often but I really treasure them when they come.

Eileen

[tybec]

Wheeler'swife,

 

I am not trying to convert you by any means. But I am a sign believer.

 

First time it hit me was a year to the date my father died. I had gone to be with my best GF, who lost her dad about 6 months earlier.  On the way home, the radio played the song I danced with my father to at my wedding. It was 17 yrs ago, and I hadn't heard it in years and flip on the radio, and there it is.  "Wind beneath my wings" by Bette Midler

 

My SIL for Christmas gave us all the book, "When God Winks at You: How God Speaks Directly to You through the Power of Coincidence" by Squire Rushnell.  I was using it for light discussions in Sunday School class.  A teen from our church had died Feb. 14, 2011 in a car accident. Her parents wrote a note in our church newsletter about how Elizabeth had continued to let her know her presence.  God winks.  I used that for my lesson that Sunday, Jan. 2012, and my husband died, that Friday in a car accident.

 

I have had so many things happen to me before and since, I do not believe in coincidences. So whatever you choose to believe and lead you in this life, I believe in signs, and I know they are Godwinks for me.  People use that phrase now to me, as I have used it so many times.  Anyway.

 

If it gives you comfort, why not?