donnak

beautiful

im glad things worked out

im in chat if anyone would like to talk

would anyone like to chat

Thank you

Just wondering when everyone goes to chat i check sometimes but it seems to be empty maybe im going at the wrong times

how wonderful for you

saying prayers

I miss love and all that it is waking up to his face his smile his touch the long walks sunday drives the family get togethers all that we shared the good times the bad the laughter the smiles all that love was and could have been now just beautiful memories shared by one instead of two damn i miss love

so heartbreaking leslie was a wonderful person how i enjoyed our talks in chat and on facebook this is so hard to believe but im glad she is reunited with her beloved jack oh how bella her canine companion is gonna miss her just like all of us who came to know and love her

if anyone would like to chat im going there now

i have been working on decluttering i try and do one room a day mon-livingroom tues-dinning room weds-breakfast room thurs-kitchen fri-today looks ify it will be a long day so may not do a room today

It was july 4th and when we went to visit friends as we walked to there back yard everyone shouted happy birthday he gave me a surprise birthday party through the years he would surprise me with little gifts and flowers

sending you hugs prayers and good vibes

keeping your daughter and everyone there in my prayers

ok im back in chat if anyone would like to chat

would anyone like to chat

ok its a little mixed up with the post sorry im not good at this stuff not computer savy

this is one of my first posts on ywbb brings back lots of memories hard to believe this nov will be 5 yrs since i lost my dh lots has hap my husband passed away in november of a rare form of bladder cancer and heart disease we met middle age both of us divorced me with 7 children him with 3 i raised mine alone he raised his alone of course like most people we had are share of relationships but then we found eachother the first day we talked on the phone for 4hrs we talked everyday to eachother we were married and spent all our time together our children were all grown except my son who was a teenager my husband became ill in june 2010 cancer of the bladder he had 3 operations but it kept comming back the drs said he had the insides of a 80 yr old man he was in so much pain muscle spams all the time he went from being a healthy 200 plus down to 100 lbs or less he ended up with a bag finally the only choice was to operate chemo or radiation would not work so he had his bladder removed he did have a heart attack on the table but was revived we came home after 10 days in the hospital everything was going ok till he started not to feel well he hardly ate before but was a little bit but now he couldnt eat at all finally we went to the hospital where we were told the devasting news the cancer had spread through his body hearing those words almost killed me my family was devastated he started to have heart attacts during the day getting worse each time he was in constant pain couldnt eat or sleep the chemo dr said they could try chemo but he didnt give it a chance the heart dr told me he was not going to make it that was on saturday he thought he was going home on sunday he ended up in icu everyone was there they all seen him i spent the night like i always did in the morning i tried to get him to eat but he couldnt he drank some juice i told him i was going to talk to the family i went to talk to them for a short while till we heard the dreadful code ill never forget that the dr came in told us he had a massive heart attack and was on machines they wantedme to sign a dnr which i never would before or he wouldnt either his daughter and me talked and my sister in law and we decided he wouldnt want to live that way it was the most pain full decision i ever made now i feel so quilty because i left the room and he was alone when he coded it kills me everyday i donnt know if hell forgive me because i cant forgive my self we all went in there and said are good byes he died a short time later its been so hard we did everything together i cry every night because i miss him so i have so many feeling of anger and loneliness if i did the right thing by signing the dnr i dont know i never want my husband to think i abandonded him my heart is so broken thank you for listeningpened since then some good some bad but ive had all of you right beside me watching my back being here every step of the way i just finished reading all my old posts hit alot of emotions bringing back some tears and a few laughs im so glad we have this new place now because i dont know what id do without you guys by buddies on the board and in chat well here it is my first post on ywbb.

ok i cant remember if i already posted or not a combination of old age and widow brain but here goes im donnak on here and also in chat i was dkuziora on ywbb i lost my dear ed to bladder cancer and a bad heart on nov 14th 2010

bladder cancer here ed was diagnosed in in april of 2010 lost his battle nov 14th 2010

hildee waiting to go on facebook lol

hunter james and hildee viking two spoiled beagles

ed at our daughters wedding