momof2obs

go for it! You both want some fun, why not? we all know that life is too short. Enjoy the fling!

I met my guy online through another widow support group in Nov. 2017. He was living across the country so it started as a long distance flirtation. We first met in person mid-April 2018 (then two weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend). Since it was long distance, we didn't physically see each other that much, although we saw each other almost every day through Facetime. I traveled out to see him in July and I was the one to say I love you first just before I was to fly back home...he was surprised that I said it but he said it right back. He moved here in October. As we are both widows, we have discussed finding love again. We both actually believe that our relationship is not just us, but a foursome (us and our passed persons) -- no betrayals, rather a felling that we have the approval of our respective loved ones. Perhaps that made it easier to say those words to each other--we both loved and lost and found love again.

I met a wonderful guy online (in fact, he was the first guy I dated after my husband died). Turns out we worked better as friends and remain so to this day. Yesterday was 2 years since my husband died and he texted me in the morning to say he was thinking of me on that day. Still knocked out that he remembered. So, to answer your question, yes, there are normal (and nice) guys on dating sites.

I'm beginning to think it is me... One guy I had met up with once previously got in contact with me two weeks ago and asked if I wanted to have dinner with him one night last week. I said yest and then I never heard back from him. I texted to follow up and no reply. After messaging back and forth pretty consistently for a few weeks, I told another guy that I was interested in getting together with him. He said he would like that but then the messages got fewer and fewer until no contact at all for almost a week now. I guess I don't have what it takes to get the follow through ???

it just keeps getting better...I can't wait for the book I write about my experiences... Had a guy message me that he wants me to be his sugar momma (hello, buy into the rich widow myth much?) I asked him what he meant and got this reply... "you pay me for the ultimate orgasmic experience of your life" :

Damn...you did better than me!

I made sure that he knew that it was VERY satisfying!

Went on a first date with a guy last week. During our lunch he asked me about the size of my late husband's penis Can't make this stuff up!!!

having a glass of wine...trying not to thing of all the "one year ago" reminders that are coming up starting with tomorrow which is one year from the last full day LH spent in our house.

Exactly! I see this with a guy the I have been seeing on and off. One our first date he told me about how he didn't believe in successful marriages (even though he was the only to get divorced in his immediate family). I told him that I had a great marriage and that's how the subject of my widowhood came up. As we have come to know each other I can understand where he is coming from as his ex is trying to sabotage his relationship with his daughter. There is a lot of bitterness. It has been tough trying to show him that I am not out to get him but, then again, I am coming from a place of no hard feelings (except maybe against the cancer that took my LH)

My husband's birthday was on Valentine's Day. We always celebrated his birthday instead of Valentine's Day. Now, the kids and I will celebrate Valentine's Day with each other (as long as they want to with their mom) and remember their dad. This year (our first without him), I gathered at his grave site with his parents and sisters for remembrance, laughs and doughnuts (inside joke). I hope this continues.

I have to say that they did respond back and worked with me to get the scammer blocked. I was impressed that they did take the situation seriously.

Exactly!

Just a reminder that the scammers are out there and be careful. Had one try to get one over on me. He was shocked, shocked I tell you, that after just two weeks of messaging on the dating app I was finding it hard to believe that he was in love with me. I asked him if this was the part where he asked me for money and poof, next day he was gone! Messaged the app help line to report him. Waiting to hear back. I feel for those who are vulnerable and fall for this nonsense. Update: The scammer has been blocked. I'm sure it is only a matter of time until he is back.

My kids have been away at a camp all week and I have been having a blast enjoying my "freedom"!

John O'Brien -- a man fiercely proud of his Irish heritage. And as the good Mrs. O'Brien I did my part and gave birth to our son on St. Patrick's Day! I called him John until the kids came along and he was known as Daddy around the house. Upon his death and seeing the impact he made on this world, I now refer to him as Superman.

My kids are there this week. At first they were a little apprehensive but when I dropped them off, the counselors were quick to get them involved in game with the other campers. I am so glad I found out about this camp from this board!! And the plus side is that mom finally gets a break! I love my kids but it's nice to hang out with adults once and awhile!!

This is our first too. We will be making our way out to the cemetery to see him. We will slowly make our way home and probably watch the US Open golf tournament (which is what we would do if he was still here). Yesterday was tough and I'm sure today will be worse. Just one day at a time.

I am Mrs. ...... so that I will have the same last name as my children.

Oh my gosh. The puritanical moralizing! Humans are sexual creatures. There is nothing wrong with consenting adults enjoying themselves, enjoying having a body, enjoying each other, etc. How does a woman (any person!) lose her self-respect by enjoying (within reason/safety/sanity of course) the body and life we are given? I agree!! At least for me, there has been something very empowering about reclaiming my sexuality after my husband's death. Due to my husband's illness, it was a very long time since I had sex and, frankly, I missed it terribly. By no means am I looking for a replacement for my husband, but lets face it, he's not coming back and I have my needs and wants that I wish to satisfy. I am making the choice whether or not to have sex with someone and, so far, there has been no regrets.

Thanks all for the input. It's nice to be able to share with people who understand what I am feeling (and to hear that it is "normal"). These days, I just hug my kids a little harder and recognize that we still have each other and there is no one who is better than us.

I just found out some wonderful news. A friend of mine who was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer late last year has been told that the cancer is gone and is she is in remission. She, naturally, is thrilled and praises God for curing her. Me? I am very happy for her but keep going back to the thought that if God is so wonderful, why didn't he cure my husband's cancer? My husband had more prayers and masses said in his name than anyone else I know. Why weren't they answered? Was he not deserving of living out the rest of his life? Are my children not as deserving of having their father? Or am I to be punished for not having the large amount of faith that he had? While I can see the joy that my friend has with her second chance at life, I am truly saddened at the fact that I feel robbed...robbed at my own family's loss. The more I read her posts on social media about how God is great for curing her, the more I want to curl up in a ball and let the feelings of hopelessness take over. I guess it doesn't help that the rain has been falling, tomorrow will be 7 months and my friends have been pulling away.

I second this - I too did a lot if dating before I met my current sweetheart, men like this I just simply stopped talking to. Didn't answer their texts, didn't respond to any communication at all. Not only do you deserve better, I am certain you can do much better. He's not worth any of your time. Thanks for the input. I have been ignoring him. I know I deserve better and will not settle for less!!!

Update...the guy now has changed his story. He says there isn't anyone else and that he just said that so I would leave him alone. Ummmm OK. So I do. What happens? Ten to 6 this morning he texts me. Can't make this stuff up!!!

Uggg! Thought I met a decent guy on Bumble. Checked him out before we met and everything he said was as he started it. We went out a few times and really clicked. Last date was Friday night. On Saturday, he texted that he was hopeful that this was the beginning of a great relationship and we started to make plans for this weekend. Today, I ask if I should make arrangements for the weekend (he is well aware of the kid situation) and he says, "nope, I'm good". When I question him he says he is too busy. I ask if he is cutting me off completely and he says yes. WTF? Long story short. He says he found someone else. Really? You couldn't be honest from the get go about that? if this is how dating is these days...I'm done!