rooshy

******i know this sounds crazy******** Both Sunday night and last night, stuffs been happening at midnight in my house. On Sunday night, I noticed footsteps in my bedroom. It was not the cats as they were both asleep and my kids were also asleep. These footsteps stopped after a few minutes. Last night the ceiling fan light turned itself on, at midnight. This particular switch is controlled by a remote control on a shelf that a cat couldn't reach - I wanted to make sure that maybe one of my cats didn't just step on the button. DH has been quiet for a long time and the only big things this week are my mom moving in (she's been moving little things to the house for about a month now), and my kids start school this week. My older son is moving to a new building for middle school in seventh grade. Do you think DH is trying to tell me something? He's been gone for 4.5 years so I can't figure out why all the activity. I'd love to hear your opinions.

So, today I found out that my mom's ex-husband committed suicide a few months ago. This was the man that raised me from age 7 - 22. I haven't seen him since 1999 when they divorced. He wasn't a good guy, he was a real bastard. Heavy smoker, heavy drinker, drug addict, narcissistic. My mom and I were never good enough in his eyes. He told me that he was "done with raising other people's kids", to my face. My mom is taking his death hard but I'm apathetic. He's the reason that I'm hesitant to start dating again because I don't want my kids potentially subjected to that kind of treatment. I was told that he had a lot of financial trouble, plus drug problems as well some health problems, and he wrote a letter stating that he didn't want to be a burden anymore. Is it wrong to be apathetic about his death?

That's an awesome explanation Sugarbell! I'll use that reasoning with my two sons.

Today I was looking at the supply list for my son as goes to middle school for 7th grade. I also emailed the school's guidance counselor to find out any information about grief groups and that's when the grief monster slapped me upside the head. DH isn't here to see DS go to junior high, DH won't be around to see DS trying out for cross country at the end of this month. And he won't be here for school dances, high school in two years, etc. :-[. The only silver lining right now is that he'll be attending the same junior high and high school that I did. I just hate having to do these milestones alone.

I'm so glad that everyone here likes 2Cellos. They also do a cover of Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' and that reminds of when I was watching another Nirvana video and my oldest son (11 at the time, 13 now) just turned his nose up from it. Nirvana was huge when I was his age! I guess they haven't learned to appreciate good music yet. Here's 2Cellos' version of Smells Like Teen Spirit: Enjoy!!

The Tonight Show put together a montage of the French Open set to Blue Danube with the player's grunting. It reminded me of how DH would watch women's tennis solely for the grunting. ;D http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/segments/132831

Eddienhp, He only had to see the horse to to start the meltdown, then started to scream and coming after me, all of this in front of the in-laws. He' s got a great speech therapist and is learning to use his ProLoQuo app on his iPad to express himself. Tomorrow he will start an 8 week summer camp at a school for kids with autism. I work at the school so I won't be that far from him. The instructors will help him with socialization and communication skills. We have a big 45 acre campus so hopefully he can lose some weight too!

TooSoon, The RHCP cannot make a bad song (or cover song). Thanks for sharing this! Have you heard of the duo 2Cellos? They did a great cello cover of AC/DC's Thunderstruck!

I love this song. I hope that my fellow wids do too -

When things are frustrating or one of my kids (esp my autistic DS) is giving me problems, I look at DH's urn and say "Fuck You! Fuck you for dying and leaving me alone to raise your two kids by myself" Should I be past the anger or is it okay to do this after nearly four and a half years? I feel like I should be past all of this grieving but I'm not.

I'm glad that you both liked the blog! I have to read this too when I get frustrated and think that I can't do this single parenting thing anymore. On Memorial Day I took my two sons to my in-laws farm - they have horses and want to be equine therapy providers. We were thinking that since Jack likes animals that this would go smoothly. Anything but. Jack started to scream and meltdown, trying to attack me in front of my in-laws. Very embarrassing and stressful. But after twenty minutes he finally calmed down.

My younger son, Jack, who is autistic and non-verbal, has figured out how to work the DVR and record "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" and play it back. I don't know what the appeal is for him, but I understand the show is big for kids with autism. Oh well I just wanted to share with you all,

http://jenniferajanes.com/special-needs-mom-done/ I ran across this on pinterest today and wanted to share. My younger son is autistic and non-verbal so I have experienced the melt downs, scratching, kicking, head butting, public tantrums, etc. Enjoy -

Well, I put my info online and apparently no man in the entire state of Ohio wants to speak to me. One dude in Georgia sent me a smile, but he's in Georgia and older than what I'm looking for. It's only been a week but I'm not holding out hope. Maybe Mr Rooshy#2 is not yet ready for me.

I have a former coworker who is coming up on the one year sadiversary of her daughter's passing. This girl was her only child and passed away from an inoperable brain tumor. I remember that first sadiversary for DH's passing and I don't want my friend to feel alone that day. Should I giver her a card, a gift, something that will comfort her? Any recommendations? Thanks in advance.

I have been the show Ghost Adventures on Travel Channel lately, and while the show is very entertaining, I wonder about the EVPs - recording the spirit's voice during a session. I've spoken to DH at home and sometimes get a response in the form something moving or turning itself on. I have also seen a ball of light on my bedroom wall and have heard footsteps from time to time. Do you think that our deceased loves ones try to communicate with us? I remember about 8 months after DH's death, I was cleaning out his man cave. I had just gotten started when I heard knocks on the wall and noticed the hamper outside the room had moved on its own. The knocking and moving stopped when I left the room.

I felt guilty for a long time because DH was on life support and my in-laws and I had to decide to keep him on or off of it. It was the 'what-if's?' that went with his death - what if I had taken him to a different hospital......what if I forced him to go to the doctor earlier that week....etc. All of us on this board did the best we could with what was available at the time. Please be good to yourself.

My friend thinks that I should sign up for Christian Mingle. It has been four years since Matt's death and I would like to "get out" there again, but I am anxious, mainly because I don't know who's out there and I haven't had a first date since 1996 . If you've done this, do you have any advice?

I work at a mental health facility that specializes in autism and while I can't enroll him as a student for school, I did get the approval to send him to summer camp! He will have eight weeks of working with people to help him socialize, communicate, play outside and in the water (we have a 45 acre campus). Jack will also have the chance to flirt with the female instructors because he's the biggest 11 year old flirt that I've ever seen. I'm so excited - this camp will be cheaper than a sitter! ;D

Fiddler On The Roof, "Sunrise, Sunset" I know it might seem a little odd as this song's about watching your children grow up, but it makes me sad in the fact my boys are growing up without their dad. Awesome play, however!

I've had a lot of success with emeals.com. Its a meal planning web site that will give you dinner for seven nights (lunch and breakfast are optional) complete with a grocery list. For $60 per year I can;t beat it.

I don't think that I can do this widda/special needs parent anything anymore. After nearly 4 1/2 years I have run out of steam. I have two boys - my oldest son, DS1, is typical and becoming a teenager in a few months. My younger son, DS2, is eleven and autistic and non-verbal. Both are testing their limits in their own ways - DS1 is giving me an attitude and DS2 is also acting out - suddenly he won't pay attention in school or at his latchkey program and is afraid to go outside. When DS2 is bored he gets ornery and into things so I have to keep a constant eye on him. I feel terrible as this takes away from DS1 and he's growing way too fast for me. I was in such a hurry tonight to make dinner that I forgot about DS1's tutor appointment. When I get home form work I hit the ground running - dinner needs made, DS1 needs help with homework, DS2 needs help getting ready for bed, etc. Myt day doesn't end until around 9 pm, then get up to do it again at 5 am. I truly feel worn down. I know that I can't all things to everyone but damn can't just one day go right?

he's been gone for over four years but I still wake up at night thinking his death was my fault. Matt had an infection that turned septic, causing a heart attack; my in-laws and myself had to decide to keep him on or off life support. We decided to remove him since there was chance of recovery. Since then I've been waking among every night thinking that I've done something wrong, forgotten something for the kids,etc - that something disastrous will happen. I am so tired of thinking that his death was my fault when it wasn't - he's the one who let his Urinary Tract Infection go for too long and sepsis developed. How do I resolve and move on?

This is a picture of my younger son, Jack, at a Sensitive Santa event in 2011. He is autistic with apraxia (non verbal)but is doing well. His older brother, Sean, will be in seventh grade this year and wants to be a mechanical engineer. Thev come a long way and I'm so proud.

I've been away from YWBB for awhile, since October 2013. I'm sorry to have been so long and was sad to learn of YWBB's demise. However, I went back to school for medical coding and billing and graduated in December 2014. I also went through ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) training with my son, Jack, who has autism. Last month, I got a new job with a local facility that provides services (educational, therapeutic, psychiatric) to people on the Autism spectrum. I finally have a job that uses both of my college degrees!! What have the rest of y'all been doing? I was widowed in January 2011. I hope that all of my YWBB friends are doing well. Thank you AndysCandy for letting me know about the new site!!!!