soloact

Wishing all a healthy, happy 2024. To our wids in the acute grief time makes it better. I wish you a gentle year.

I still mask up in indoor public spaces. N95 is my daily driver. I picked up a bakery order yesterday. The person who helped me told me to pull down my mask. I did not. Got my order so it's all good. Approximately 400 people die each day from Covid. It's long Covid that spooks me. Be well all.

This is a zombie thread, sorry. I did get vaxxed as all did who wanted to. I still remember the day I received an email from an area hospital where I was registered inviting me to schedule. The link opened. A schedule dropped down. I was so excited it appeared as if it was my first time using a computer. All went well. I had a mild systemic reaction after the boost dose. No reaction after the prime dose. The vax site staffers were so kind. They thanked us for visiting. I was overwhelmed. My now pcp is on the staff there. I changed. The place that did all my care never notified although I was registered for a vax. Subsequent boosters were at the pharmacy of an area supermarket. Whenever CDC says go, I do. Now I wonder when there will be another booster? mRNA boosters wane in a few months. My bivalent booster was more than six months go. N95 is my daily driver in indoor public spaces. Still a Covid virgin. Hope to continue as such. Fingers crossed. Be well everyone!

Lewis, thank you so much! What a pleasant surprise. I was using DH iPad last evening and tapped the bookmark. We're back! I'm late to the party. I was getting an error message on my devices. DH still looking out for me. I've missed this site. I've been widowed for many years but it is so good to talk with others who get it. Thank you again.

This thread recently reminded me of a sitcom in syndication that I can't stand. The Golden Girls. If the tv is on and I hear the first note of the theme song I hit any button on the remote to make it go away. Women share a house. One widow is a dingbat. Very kind but not too bright. The other is a ho. The brains of the outfit is a cynical divorcee who cannot keep her hands off her married ex husband or other people's husbands on occasion. Her widowed mother lives there too. The elderly widowed mom has good sense. The stereotype is not helpful for new wids. There are actually people IRL who subscribe to this and treat us accordingly. In the early grief I often thought there may be a website somewhere that lists fresh widows. So many creepy men approached. Other people acted as if I was drooling into a cup. The race to recouple me on an ambush basis was aggravating.

Ditto on the sappy Hallmark movies, widowed subject or not. They can give you a toothache. When I was newly widowed Hallmark did screen some worthwhile movies on the topic. This predates Crown Media's homebrew movies shown today. I can't watch anything on that channel with the exception of When Calls the Heart. That's getting boring too. Some westerns have interesting episodes on widow(ers). Usually it's a one shot deal. The town helps the widowed person and they are never seen again. At least it's not the creepy recouping topic. I agree with OP's assessment that we are not great subjects for commercial sales.

@trying2breathe, the online sign up here is not going well either. I will never understand how they expect all super seniors to use the online option. Hopefully all who want the vaccine will get it eventually. Infection rates are lower here too, now. We are finally recovering from holiday gathering numbers. Now it will be Super Bowl parties possibly running them up again. I hope not. We shall see.

Great that your mom had her first dose!. In this area only 50% of people age 80 and over have been vaccinated. Lack of vaccine is the reason given. February first people age 70 and older were up to be vaccinated. Nothing much happening as they have not started age 75+ due to vaccine shortage. Care facility residents are being vaccinated by one of the retail pharmacies at the LTC. A few day ago they reported a cold chain breach affecting four LTCs. The residents will be revaccinated. Thursday I got word from a friend that she was notified a vaccine would be available to her next week. I followed up on the particulars. She is in religious life. Her order has a relationship with the hospital that will do the vaccinations. Her order gets their health care there. I smiled. I thought it was the sisters who got things going. The sisters can get more done quickly with very little. They amaze me. They are amused when I tell them they are rockstars. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. It made me feel so good that she will be vaccinated.

@tybec, it's wonderful that you have that boost dose. Your reaction to the second dose sounds like what Dr. Fauci described after his. You are in good company. Good call to avoid peak hours in stores, restaurants etc. The variants are here so that's another concern. I was not the only kook in mask and face shield yesterday. A few people in the parking lot were loading groceries in their trunks at the same time I was. We had a quick convo calling to each other. The mask and shield does muffle speech. Store clerks were patient and kind as I spoke up and repeated when necessary. Hoping we all stay well.

I'm a little discouraged today. Our governor just hijacked vaccine doses originally scheduled for a new cohort on February 1. He is diverting doses to school staffers demanding schools open March 1. He didn't steal enough doses for all. There is not enough time to do a prime and boost dose between now and March1. He also continues to relax restrictions on bars and restaurants. He's up for re-election in 2022. The dots connect themselves. Time to mask up, grab a face shield and take my chances at the grocery store.

It's never too late to thank people for kindness. Some funeral homes include thank you notes with the materials provided after the funeral. That's how I learned that my dad forgot to send them after my mom died. I sent them at that time. Several people contacted me once they receiver the notes. People were pleased to be remembered and it was nice to hear from old friends of my parents.

tybec, happy to hear of your progress. Please post back after you get the boost dose. I'm relatively certain we will all be vaccinated eventually. Multiple registrations are required here at various providers. Walgreens, CVS, three area hospital systems and the county to my knowledge. I have registered nowhere. I'm hoping registration will eventually streamlined or more centralized.

I hope the rollout is going well in your area. It's all goofed up here. The governor has one set of priorities. The county us using the CDC guidelines but not the revised guidelines. I doubt anyone has a clue. The largest employer in this state is a hospital system. They are now accepting vaccine registrations from people age 80 and older. The only way to register is via the hospital's proprietary app. Does anyone else see possible issues with requiring people 80 and older to use an app exclusively? On two occasions I received email from the governor asking me to return to work. No way. Yesterday another email asking me to be a volunteer vaccinator. I have the skills and the time. I would be more than happy to help *if* I was vaccinated prior to beginning. It's vitally important to get as many people vaccinated as quickly as possible. I am not willing to put myself at risk for the opportunity to be a free nurse. Too bad bureaucrats don't live in the real world. What's happening where you live?

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad. It's always a sad thing to lose a parent. I have no wisdom to offer regarding seeing his will. Being curious about the will is not a bad thing. We just want to know some things at times of sorrow. Try not to be too hard on yourself for wanting that info. It's ok that you do. You have posed that you have no plans to make waves and you appreciate the care his wife provided for him. Once the will is filed it becomes public record in some states. Maybe someone at the probate court can advise you. Sorry for your loss.

I just hunker down as I understand that's the only way to stay healthy. Even essential errands are a risk. If this system works I will have lots of time to do other things once we are beyond the public health emergency.

Avemaria6, the feeling of being terribly alone is normal too. I hate using the word normal for something that hurts so badly. This is is a process that eventually works out. It's just so difficult to endure on the way.

Avemaria6, It does just hurt that much. I'm sorry you are going through all this. Health challenges add to the sadness. Time is your friend. It just seems to take so long to get to the better days. I wish I had something more helpful to offer.

StillWidowed, I was raised Roman Catholic. I went to Catholic schools and was raised by nuns in a matter of speaking. I have not been a practicing Catholic since I last lived in my mother's house. I'm an HMD Catholic. I have much respect for the sisters who taught us. They treated me very well often going out of their way to help me on their own time. I continue to support the sisters. My dearest and oldest friend is in religious life. She does not try to cure me. We are friends since high school. With that background I was amazed by people who asked if was "mad at god" after my husband died since I do not do church. Makes no sense. We become public domain once widowed so maybe it was just one more dumb question. People asked me why I don't drink. No one ever asks me why I don't eat liver. Same reason. I don't believe in afterlife. I didn't before my husband died. There is no change since his death.

faye, I'm ok with people visiting sans suitcase and toothbrush. It's the overnight folks I could do without. One exception would be DH's niece. She was in town a few years for grad school. I just loved her to death. She lived on campus but spent a lot of time here with us. We quizzed her for exams and other study assistances.There were times before she started grad school and after graduation that she was in town and a very welcome guest. She made herself at home. By that I mean her hands weren't broken. She never expected me to return home from a twelve hours shift and prepare her favorite meal to her specifications. She was truly a family member and pitched in. So many times I had to tell her to sit down and relax. I could not believe it when she laundered her bed linens and remade the bed before leaving Towels were laundered and neatly folded on the bed. That's over and above but gives an idea of how thoughtful she is. We've had some real crackpots here over the years not related to either of us. In every instance it was because the "guests" wanted the services of a fine hotel without the expense. I put guests in quotes as they invited themselves. When dear niece graduated we were all there celebrating her accomplishment. Her parents planned to throw a party at a hotel they chose. We suggested using our house as the place they selected cost a fortune. There were agreeable. This party was put together in a few hours. Each person who knew the area went for a very good takeout . The others helped with setup. When all returned we had a good day enjoying each other and a lot of good food. Everyone commented on how well this group effort turned out. They all had to take food home too. We have a no leftovers policy.

Sorry this happened to you. COVID could be a factor in the in-laws decision. In this area we are advised to mask up in our homes anytime a person is in the house who does normally reside in that home. One another occasion a community member's spouse died suddenly. The sib came to town for services and was made to feel so unwelcome the neighbors took him in. There was overwhelming support for the community member. Maybe we seem to relate to the widowed person. I really don't know. FWIW, I really don't like to have houseguests. DH had family living out of state and wanted adequate space to accommodate them. We bought a home larger than we needed for that reason. I dreaded each visit. I suffered through the visits because I loved him. I was always so relieved when everyone left. I wanted to go to a hotel. Privacy is important to me. I don't stay in other people's homes and don't want them here. Years ago a long time ago school mate wanted to visit. DH said yes before talking to me. His heart was in the right place. He didn't know this nut job! No way I would have let her stay here. She was looking for a free place to flop. Nothing more. She made such a nuisance of herself that I told her to leave after a few days. When we came home from a long day's work he would take the car he left for her to use and refuel!! Dang, you'e living free and can't even gas up the car for your trips to who knows where. I have no idea if she had insurance or even a valid driver's license. The last time she contacted me I was widowed and the hotel was closed. Never heard from her again. Mission accomplished.

I'm home alone and stay at home orders don't bother me. There is a lot to do here so I can keep busy or not. My state has some strict stay at home directives. I go out for essentials only. I've done grocery weekly during off peak hours, one trip to pharmacy and necessary car service. There really is nothing out there worth dying for as far as I am concerned.

Another item that mystifies me is married women who complain to me about their husbands. I bite the sides of my mouth to avoid asking is he still alive? Then why are you singing the blues to me?

I'm sorry you were subject to that so called friend. She was way out of line. I'll always be amazed at people who are jealous of widows. You are correct. She needs to work on herself if she ever wants a relationship. Who in the world would put up with her as she is?

Wishing all a Valentine's Day that treats you kindly. My now Valentine's Day is celebrated by appreciating people who treat me well or make life easier. I stopped by a few places to deliver chocolates today. Seems to brighten their day. Makes me happy too.

Best wishes!