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soloact

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Everything posted by soloact

  1. Deny, deny, deny. Sorry this is happening. Is it possible to just act as if he is mistaken as to any past involvement with you?
  2. I don't discuss finances. When there are extra expenses I tighten the budget. There are always things I can live without for a time period. I never thought that crying about expenses generates revenue so I don't. Maybe it makes people more curious. Donno.
  3. Mike, your post took me back a few years. My dad was widowed at 51. He was financially secure and drop dead good looking. His phone never stopped ringing. He screened calls to have some peace. When calls went unanswered there were drive by visits. I teased him that he should petition the city for a traffic light on his corner to avoid accidents. The lady he married was nothing like that. He did all the chasing. My stepmom was a wonderful person. I still miss her so much. She was invaluable support when my husband died. She was widowed a few years before my dad met her. The well-off widow(er) is legend regardless of gender or means. It's unfortunate. I had my share of unwanted attention too. Best way to disqualify oneself IMHO.
  4. Checking in a day late. I was at McDonald's last evening seated with a group of super seniors who were discussing their labor and delivery. Do I win?
  5. I enjoyed being single. It was a good time in my life. Widowed is so different from single. I can't even imagine a comparison much less considering single and widowed the same.
  6. Similar situation from a rehab facility that contributed significantly to his demise. He was refused dietary compliance. Ashes were not cool when they started bumming and begging. Caused me much distress. I asked them politely to remove my name from the mailing list. More bumming and begging. The next time I was not courteous or PC. Mission accomplished.
  7. MamaZ, hello from a fellow oddball! I wouldn't mind more socializing with other like minded wids. Gets old when wid friends keep talking of "putting me out there". Not for me. I do have a young widow of 91 who is my hero. I told her I want to be just like her when I grow up. She always gets a laugh from that. She dresses nicely, keeps hair neatly styled and drives a pretty red car. She misses her husband and makes no apology about that. I like it when I can speak from the heart. I miss my husband too. Always will. She's good company and I always look forward to our next meeting.
  8. They lost me at item 4. Who does not grieve a spousal loss for at least 12 months? Doubt the author has first hand experience.
  9. Congrats. Wishing you many health, happy years together.
  10. The spouse IMHO. When we put our spouse first we are sensitive to people and things that are important to them. The kids are in a good position when spouses are considerate of each other and by extension the kids.
  11. Jess, I'm so sorry. Our pets do connect us to our late spouse. Losing them seems like another part of our beloved is gone. My condolences.
  12. ieh21, You rock. You are truly the IT Master! I've killed a few hours today setting up a new Mac and having fantasies about Windows. That's a first for me. El Cap took down one printer, the color jet unit. After several hours the new Mac can see the printer on the network but not talk to it. I still can use the monochrome laser so I guess that's good. The scanner is up and running but I had to work hard for that. Administering my old AE required workarounds since Mountain Lion. May work on that when I get bored just for fun. Doubt there will be progress. Setup was from Time Machine. Should have been easy. Not so much. Hope I don't lose data. I have a plea on the Apple Support Communities for help preserving my data. Glad I didn't upgrade the older Mac. At least I can get stuff there unless El Cap makes it disappear. I miss Steve Enjoy your computer. You really accomplished something getting up and running. I've been doing this a long time but this one was a trip!
  13. If you don't have kids you are never a qualifying widow/er. Filing joint the year of the death is permitted.
  14. Two financial institutions looked at the certificate, made a copy and returned the original to me. Personal visits to change IRA beneficiary. I was surprised that they didn't require the original since I was removing a spouse. Some of the other places were stickers for insignificant changes.
  15. Everything changed/transferred usually requires a certified copy of death certificate. Ordering several copies adds up. Each certificate is $25 if paid by cash, money order or personal check with photo ID. There is an additional charge if paid by credit card. The link below is the procedure for transferring a vehicle title to a surviving spouse in Ohio. http://www.bmv.ohio.gov/titles-transfer-spouse.aspx
  16. Legal fees associated with probate can easily cost thousands. TTA what is SS? I was looking for the post your referenced. Thanks
  17. Justin, the article you linked really surprised me. I know we can't please people in relationship to meeting someone or not doing so. I never realized the rule about dying in a certain time frame. Amazing!
  18. Jen, year two was the most difficult for me. I understand everything you wrote. It all makes sense. Wish I had something more for you.
  19. It is a good feeling when we realize we mastered lessons from our lost love. So many times I realize that I was able to do something because he taught me. Nice warm memories and the good feeling of still being cared for.
  20. Congrats on your mastery of the new computer and peripherals. ElCap is taking down a lot of peripherals. There are some workarounds using Windows drivers on Macs. Oh, how the might have fallen. I think Steve is spinning.
  21. Complicated grief disorder makes it billable
  22. I wouldn't worry about it too much. LTC residents weren't born there. They had lives just like the rest of us. I was a frequent visitor in an LTC while my favorite aunt was there. Many times I heard things that made me blush. One old gent asked me to sleep with him! When I went into the hall my husband was laughing at my surprise. He said "he's old, not dead". Why do you think he was always talking to you? I can't speak for the families but the residents are ok with it.
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