soloact

You made my day with this good news! Wishing you contentment, peace and happiness. You deserve it!

No, not a nicer sounding term.

Same meaning here too. Man about town was the term used for a rascal.

@tybect, my post was not a negative criticism of the video. It was just my reaction when I viewed it posted on another site. Posters on that site also found it helpful and forwarded it on to widowed friends.

Mike, thanks for the update. Please keep us posted as you feel is it appropriate.

This was posted an another widow site just over a week ago. The speaker made me cringe. That's the first time a widow speaking made me uncomfortable.

laurie27, we've all been where you are now and it hurts like the devil. Do what is most comfortable for you. I remember early on so many people told me what to do and how to grieve. I had a pat response. My husband's things were a part of my inheritance per his will. Yeah, they looked at me like I was nuts but it got them off my back. Mission accomplished.

Glad it was helpful. Sorry it wasn't better news.

This may help to explain the benefits with two surviving children. https://maximizemysocialsecurity.com/will-my-sons-benefits-go-when-his-fathers-other-child-turns-age-18

I am a widow. I'm not single or divorced. I too am a little offended by forms that require us to check off single, married or sometimes include divorced. People are widowed. If the other person says I'm sorry I thank them and the conversation moves on. A few idiots, maybe 2-3 commented that I was *lucky* to be widowed. Their reasons were that there was no division of financial assets and/or I didn't have a living ex. I made no comment at all. A cartoon bubble over my head would have read "I understand why you are divorced" but that would be rude to verbalize. Goes without saying I removed myself from those folks as soon as possible.

My heart goes out to Kate and her family. So much loss and tragedy in her young life. I wish her peace. Thank you for posting this, Mike.

Sounds familiar. Reruns of Little House on the Prairie can reduce me to tears at certain scenes. I think it's just part of who I am now.

@tybec, your post did not seem judgmental to me. My reference was to my own statement that I can understand how the hoarding behavior begins. It's not as easy for me to understand how it continues to take over most living space. I was referring to my own post. Sorry if it read differently.

Gem, no apologies to us. That's why we're here. We've all been where you are now. Someone listened. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time now but I'm glad you came here.

The hoarding behaviors are not necessarily expensive. People who are suffering can keep all sorts of items that are inexpensive or free. My husband always liked to look at every one of his mail pieces. I toss obvious junk mail immediately. After his death it was very difficult to toss his junk mail. I indulged myself for a short period of time in small space of his. I can understand how that behavior can begin. It's not as easy to understand how it continues to take over most of living space. I'm not in those moccasins to I am not in a position to judge.

Thanks for sharing. I've read about hoarding behavior after loss and I understand it. That's the scary part. It must be difficult to live in space that is totally cluttered. A plumber was here a few years ago for some issue. He just came from a call for frozen pipes. The lady would not allow him in the house. He thawed the plumbing in the crawl and garage. He explained to the customer that it's necessary to thaw any frozen areas or it will all refreeze. She was adamant in her restrictions. He was concerned about her. He thought she may be hoarding.

I'm sorry.

I like Widda. The good people who run the site maintain it as a safe place for community members. Quality over quantity. I don't post a lot probably because it's been awhile since the loss. Much appreciation to the kind people who provide this helpful resource for all of us.

DH and I were in shopping mall several years ago. I beautiful young woman saw him, called out and waved. She ran up to him and gave him a big kiss on the lips. An old biddie saw this and confronted me. "What do you have to say about that? "I responded "he's old enough". I don't remember the biddie ever speaking to me again. Backstory: The biddie was a shift manager at one of the kiosks. The young lady was in her chain of command. The young lady left for a better position. The biddie never forgave her for that.

Is he still alive? is my response.

Bluebird, I'm so sorry for your loss. Wifeless will be missed my many. Please accept my sincere condolences.

Thanks for the update on Kate. Glad to know she is well and her life is good.

Nuggets, at 75 John would just be getting his second wind. So sorry he is not here with you. Thank you for remembering Lini. She was a good and kind friend to so many of us. Why am I still here? Simple. My husband is still dead. Wish it was different for all of us. It's always good to *see* you. Be well.

I agree with you on the run of the mill widow books. Dating instructions and how to balance a checking account. Silly stuff. We were married so obviously we had dating down. Can't imagine an adult who never paid bills but it could happen, I guess.

@Portside, I like the way you think. Several years ago I worked with a woman who was rich with uncommon sense. She was not highly educated but knew more than many degreed coworkers. Some came to her to vent or ask advice on men problems. The stories were lengthy but all similar. Once the speaker came up for air my co-worker always gave the same advice. "You can catch the bus by yourself" That was her way off advising that if the relationship did not enhance your life, get out of it.