Sugarbell

Nice!! We watch bits and pieces of it. My boys love baseball and DH was born in Williamsport.

I get that. it will be a year in Sept for NG and me....and just very recently he has eluded to wanting to see each other everyday..etc. I am not there yet. He's an hour away. Ideally it would be nice if we lived closer in separate homes...But I think he's thinking all together. He coaches football...so for 10 weeks his weekends are tied up. (Friday night Sat morning and Sunday afternoon)...I think he's kinda shocked that it doesn't bother me and I am planning weekend getaways for the kids and I to the mts. Without him. Fall is the best season here. Like I said I am not an easy person to date/be in a relationship with. lol Sounds like things are good with you guys. Tell him to give you a little more time. The weekend getaway will be good for you both!

In past relationships....yes this sometimes happened. For whatever reason...it sounds like insecurity on his part (I am not saying that's bad-don't know details)....like he's seeing you are healing, moving forward with life in positive ways and wants to make sure he is part of it. Is he around the boys more now? Or your friends? ...this could be why he's focused on how far he thinks you all need to come. Does he look at you all as equals? Partners? Again I have no idea the dynamics of the relationship. But don't let his insecurity hold you back from the growth you are making. Your plate is more than full. But I know I am not the easiest person to date/have a relationship with. I can't deal with insecurity. But that's me. So I am probably not the best person to give insight. He sounds like a great guy though.

I told my oldest teacher in Kindergarten-2nd grade. Then I quit. But never for into specifics with them-just gave them a heads up at beginning of year-because those were the grades that still did "Dad" stuff and really was just trying to keep the teacher in the loop. No-I never discussed my kids grief with the school. They are educating hundreds of kids with various issues. It's not my place to discuss grief, illness (suicide in my case) with school staff. Also with me (and all 3 kids had not even started kindergarten when he died)..I didn't want them thinking "My Dad died so I can misbehave" etc. Not at all saying that is the case here....but really my kids never wanted anything discussed. School was a safety happy zone for them when they were little. But I know I am a hard ass....But 8 years later being a hard ass paid off.

Keep your cool stick with the facts. I always got the best results sending an email copy the principal, vp, other teachers in the grade. Always leave a paper trail. Schools /board of education hates paper trails. Do not talk to her without a witness (teacher/principal present)...She will brush you off as an overeactive crazy parent. This teacher was totally out of line. I bet a paper trail will lead to her being written up.

Very proud of you!!! Just take a step back now and breathe....Relax and be YOU...

No experience....but I would try to find out what kind of cult. Scientology? Amish? Branches of Polygamy? Satanists? Certain Pentecostal religions can even be cult like. Or is she exaggerating for sympathy, attention...playing victim? Everyone's definition of cult is different. And the extremes are different. I wouldn't run by would tread cautious until I found our what I was dealing with. But I am Middle Aged and grumpy...I don't want to play therapist with my lover.

Are we going to go by Chapter or Chapters then "meet" each week to discuss?? For remedial ADHD participants like myself that may help TS!

It's your frequency...vibrational energy Jen. ...it's higher and can mess with electronics indeed. I do it all the time too. I wear one of those magnetic bracelets to ground me and have a mat at work under my desk--I was crashing the computers too frequently. People at work just shake their heads...they have seen it in action. :)

Well the fan/light turning on by itself could indeed be your own energy/frequency. No kidding. They have done studies in recent years with everyone having cell phones/wireless/that their is so much magnetic energy floating around cyberspace...that sometimes individuals can indeed mess with electronics unknowingly at different times. Not ghost related...it's energy being manipulated. I would also check the circuit/fuse box etc. Or it could be something else. Footsteps....could be anything. Remember it doesn't necessarily have to be DH. We are just so assuming that it must be them. I have had numerous experiences over the years. Rarely share them on here-doesn't seem to be a topic that's well received. I always ask "How did it make you feel?".....if it was peaceful..not threatening-it was good energy...a good spirit...guiding you. PM me if you have any more questions.

Well 2 of my kids have no memory of their Dad. I will say (and some may disagree with this)...that I have always allowed my kids from toddler age on to take the lead in discussions/questions about their Dad. Different situation here....but some years (yea years) they never discuss him. Some years all the time. I never pushed or initiated it with them (but they see grandparents, etc...but honestly some years they never felt the void)...Right now 7th grader talks all the tine about him. Other 2 never. Next year or semester it will switch. 6 is young...if he's happy and secure with his world...I wouldn't bring it up yet. As he gets older he will probably want to know more...but at 6...no...at least mine didn't.

Strange....I went home for just a few hours over the weekend....and the dark cloud appeared. Odd I had not had it thrown in my face in over a decade....but recently I was thinking of it with my kids getting older-esp oldest. It's not anything in my immediate family directly....but the intertwining of my family...my mothers secret affair....and being caught in the middle of it....Just as I was at age 14. I have a choice now...I didn't then. I also don't need my kids going to school with the said persons grand kids and my father hearing about it. My kids need a Mom at peace--going back would not keep my soul At peace. It's At peace here. When the time comes if need be...I will check for other avenues for my sons academics. But not my hometown. I was meant to have the wake up call (and shock) I got over the weekend.

I have an IRL friend from high school whose college age son volunteers a week or two a summer thru his university. He lost his Dad to a heart attack (not cancer) in 2010...

Uplifting not unifying books. Darn phone

Count me in!! Just ordered it off Amazon. My daughter also had a severe speech delay as a very young child. Out of my 3 kids....she has the best work ethic, sense of independence/confidence..determination. She's still in speech but pretty much couldn't talk until she was 5. She's bloomed over the past 2 years and is my most well adjusted kid. On more than one occasion I have said her speech delay helped mold her into a confident determined 8 year old. I always root for the underdog. And love reading inspirational, unifying books.

You got this!! And I still think he may not show. But if he does...have your poker face on! And a classy heeled shoe. I always feel more empowered in some good heels!

Ok...I am expecting most to think it's weird...but... I sage my bedroom every Sunday evening. Gets any residual energy (even energy from just me from the week and burn frankensence sticks. My guy friend has no idea I do this. Also plants in the bedroom absorb any old negative stuff. Of course....I can't sleep ALL night with anyone...No matter whose house/hotel, etc. Before the end of the night I always end up on the couch or guest room...But I was that way with DH too....Just a picky sleeper

Yes I have considered that option. Our district is the whole county...There are numerous middle schools (and some are very good) that he could go to for 7th and 8th grade. (98 percent of the state has middle schools except us-)...So that would be a good fit. But the county has two large high schools-Massive by my standards...About 2500 students each. So we have 3 high schools in area for open enrollment...two huge ones (and they offer a lot for the kids but my kids would be totally overwhelmed)--The two huge ones are 9-12 (like it should be) Then our high school in Stepford...grades 7-12...about 600 kids (tiny-very few advanced classes). My high school in my hometown is about 1200 students grades 9-12...So it's large but not crazy large. Really I can bide time for 2 more years...GPA and college track/classes don't start till 9th grade. But I feel stuck. Of course two more years my house would be paid off-So it would be clear money when I sold.... Just don't know.

I love my neighborhood...it's always what kept me here. My home will be paid off in 2 years. The high school where my oldest just started-it's horrible (only 600 kids grades 7-12)...They push athletics not academics at all. My hometown where I grew up-Great larger schools..ranked high. Good baseball team and archery. More cultural opportunities. I still have lots of friends there (it's an hour south of me) My reason for not going back....and it's a dark cloud that has been therefor 30 years. When I wrote it all out it sounded like a lifetime movie so I deleted it. And I just don't know what to do.

Well...I haven't answered her yet...But I am not doing if. I will come early and help set up-then bolt...my kids don't care either way...and it's the Saturday of my sons bday...he will have an afternoon baseball game and want friends over. My focus has always been on his birthday that day (bday on bens death day-walk is 2 days after death day)...I want to live in the present...the now. My guilt comes cause several DHs friends show up to the walk--but they know my situation. I have also been dealing with if 24/7 for 8 years....it's totally different than remembering a friend. Both the walk coordinators lost a sibling to suicide. One was 19 years ago. I swear she has made her brothers legacy suicide. I never wanted that as Bens legacy. They have passed a law making suicide prevention mandatory classes in grades 5 5-12. That will be hard on my kids...they are staying home that day. It also appears that a lot of this is the coordinators feeling good about themselves, ego stroking, etc...But honestly...the walk is not uplifting...it's draining. And I sense a power struggle between volunteers (ego driven) Sticking with my gut...showing up early without my kids...setting up and bolting. Then choosing to LIVE the day in the PRESENT moment.

Sending you strength and positive vibes...he may not even show up if he's a coward and can't stand seeing you strong. Also make sure you get a court order to switch back your name. The first thing I did was take that piece of paper to social security to my old name back (DHs last name/my kids last name) It was an empowering step towards reclaiming my identity and my old self.

((((hugs))))) So sorry SVS....it's still strange to me too at certain moments. And when your kid hurts...you hurt...I totally get it.

. Too personal....sorry deleted

He has FB pages for both businesses and a website for mattresses. He has a separate building at his home so when people come-they come to his house/property. The sporting goods-no he doesn't have a website-he's been doing it for years-he coaches high school softball and football and in the winter is a referee for basketball-so he's always networking. His full time real job-they rarely call after hours but did a lot on vacation. I wasn't even aware of the "Do not disturb" on phones-definitely going to suggest it. I think being overscheduled/busy is just him. He's been that way since college-he only had one kid and had joint custody since she was 6. (20 now)...On the weeks he had her--he never had women/dates around-never worked after hours-only owned one business until she was 18. I think when she left for college he picked up another business because that's just his personality. And relationships since his divorce 15 years ago....he says he tried to keep it casual...He didn't want to be serious or committed. He says he wants us committed (in any capacity I want not pushing marriage)...And told me he would cut back any coaching, referee, businesses for me. --But honestly I love him busy-I am busy it doesn't bother me-I find it attractive--he doesn't need to be with me every night or whatever...I am great with that. Just want the majority of work turned off when we are together.

Oh yes! That's why I posted it. He was supposed to be a hair band rocker I think from Twisted Sister from the 90s (he had the Dee Snider make up on too earlier in the evening) I was supposed to be Jessica Rabbit. And we had several drinks before this pic.