Momtojandj

YES! I struggled for a long time, raised Catholic and asking all the why and where was my husbands angel that day ? When people say things like please pray for so and so , and then say God answered your prayers.. I cringe! No .. God doesn't pick and choose .. I finally found an article someone , I believe on the old widow boards told me about. Its called "one day at a time ,is God at fault " I made a copy , read it often and even share it on my Facebook. So yes, my attitude is different , I used to think your life was pre planned , and God will call you when it's your time. Excuse my language , but horse shit! If you read the article , curious to know your opinion . Honestly , it has saved my way of thinking and helped me heal.

So after taking a break from online and dating . I went back in , and have a date Thursday night. I have already spoke with him on the phone, and googled the heck out of him. Lol.

Rob, that's crazy . I would think she would contact you ? Unless she embarrassed by what happened. If you got her through care.com , would they have a way to contact her ?

I have experimented with widow, and single . Honestly saw no difference . What I do find l even if I list widow , guys seemed surprised when I mention it . Maybe they don't look at that part of the profile ?

Portside, I could see how my profile would be smartassy, but I only did it after much thought. For some reason match has never worked for me , no clue why . I only rejoined because the price was too good to pass up. I have tried the nice approach, stole profile ideas from others and still I get looks and the only emails are guys I'm Not interested in or they ghost on me. So I decided to be honest and write what I felt, even with what I put .. I'm getting again lots of likes, and winks. Clearly , at least in my case the guys aren't even reading my profile . I will leave it as is for awhile, then might rewrite it . Then will stick to free sites, at least there I've actually gotten dates. 🙄 I do thank you for your opinion , nice to have a guy chime in. 😀 Ok this is my edited version : I'm 47 years old, a widow and mom of two teenage boys . Sometimes I will send a wink, but then I think it's up to the guy to email and really make the first move . If I've given you my phone number , I would actually like to meet , not text endlessly . I would love to have someone to share my life with , confide in , fall in love with ,travel with . Nothing beats that connection two people have , when sometimes you don't need to say a word and they make your soul melt. I was lucky to be in love and had a wonderful husband . Hopefully , I will find that again. Sadly after reading some profiles and going out on dates , I realize why some men on here are still single. What am I looking for ? I won't date anyone old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son . Married, still in love with your ex, or blame her for the breakup.. Move on .. So am I too blunt .. Maybe .. But I'm looking for a man , not a child that plays games . What do I have to offer ? I'm always smiling. I realize life is short, so I have no time for petty arguments , or grudges. I love vacations, I believe it recharges the soul. I'm a whiz in the kitchen , but I also love to go out and try new places to eat . I love going to the gym , but I'm up for kayaking , walking , or doing a rugged maniac race. Curling up on the couch and watching a movie or going to see a band play . I'm a great mom , friend and person .

Semper.....great advice! Reworked : After trying dating sites, I decided to be blunt , and honest . I'm 47 years old, a widow and mom of two teenage boys . I have no time to chase any guy , I think the guy should make the first move . Enough with the likes, winks and favorite bulls@@t. Send an email . If I've given you my phone number , I would actually like to meet , not text endlessly . I would love to have someone to share my life with , but I was lucky to be in love and had a wonderful husband . No reason to settle . Sadly after reading some profiles and going out on dates , I realize why some men on here are still single. What am I looking for ? I won't date anyone old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son . Married, still in love with your ex, or blame her for the breakup.. Move on .. So am I too blunt .. Maybe .. But I'm looking for a man , not a child that plays games . What do I have to offer ? I'm always smiling. I realize life is short, so I have no time for petty arguments , or grudges. I love vacations, I believe it recharges the soul. I'm a whiz in the kitchen , but I also love to go out and try new places to eat . I love going to the gym , but I'm up for kayaking , walking , or doing a rugged maniac race. Curling up on the couch and watching a movie or going to see a band play . I'm a great mom , friend and person .

Ok, so I said the heck with it .. And this is my new profile summary .. Please be honest After trying dating sites, I decided to be blunt , and honest . I'm 47 years old, a widow and mom of two teenage boys . I have no time to chase any guy , I think the guy should make the first move . Enough with the likes, winks and favorite bulls@@t. Send an email . If I've given you my phone number , I would actually like to meet , not text endlessly . I would love to have someone to share my life with , but I was lucky to be in love and had a wonderful husband . No reason to settle . Sadly after reading some profiles and going out on dates , I realize why some of you are still single. What do I have to offer ? I'm always smiling. I realize life is short, so I have no time for petty arguments , or grudges. I'm a great kisser , cuddler and more 😉. I love vacations, I believe it recharges the soul. I'm a whiz in the kitchen , but I also love to go out and try new places to eat . I love going to the gym , but I'm up for kayaking , walking , or doing a rugged maniac race. I'm a great mom , friend and person . What am I looking for ? I won't date anyone old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son . Married, still in love with your ex, or blame her for the breakup.. Move on .. So am I too blunt .. Maybe .. But I'm looking for a man , not a child that plays games .

So I joined a Facebook group, single in NJ. More for advice , and just to see what it is about than trying to find someone on there to date. Anyway .. One guy posted .. Don't you wish people would be brutally honest in their profile , and he proceeded to say what he would write. So I decided to say what I wish I could write on a profile.. Now before I tell you , or maybe it doesn't matter .. But how brutally honest can you be? Or should you be? Maybe if we all were more honest with our wants, needs and our faults , would that help or hurt us online? Hmm .........

Klim You know the same ones I have used . I have to say from talking to single people what works in one area , doesn't always work in another. However , my two that I meet the most are pof and tinder. I do state on tinder, I'm not looking for a hookup. I like that since you go thru Facebook, tinder tells you if have have friends in common. A lot of guys state on there that they aren't looking for a hookup either . Ps.. I went onto groupon and found 3 months for match for only 25 dollars.

Google and lots of YouTube. I hate that I have to do it, but there is some satisfaction is saying .. Holy crap I did that !

Klim, I would go on the coffee dates. . I dont think your stringing them along . You said some you feel are a no, they could be the ones that surprise you .

Captains wife.. You handled the guy great ! What a nut .. I'm over here rolling my eyes at his reasoning for ghosting on you .

Hope you guys are having an awesome time ! Please post pics :-)

Tofinoman... Funny ... Ghosting is when you are talking to someone from online , and emails , calls or texts have gone back and forth . A lot of times a date has been set up, and poof they stop calling, texting, emailing .

Arneal and needytoo, I have used tinder .. But I clearly say I'm looking to date. Believe it or not, I've had a few dates from there . I like it because it hooks up thru Facebook, it will tell you if you have friends in common. It's honestly no worse than the other free sites.

Sunshine , thanks for the kind words .. He just stopped texting . Now that I think about it , maybe the video was weird and he sent them to many girls.. No clue why ? I've stopped trying to figure this all out .

Hubby was a Sargent at a corrections facility. For three and a half years, I have moved his uniforms around my room. Refolded and stacked them. Checked the pockets , tried smelling them to see if they still smell like him. I tried once half heartedly to get rid of them. All the shirts have his name on them . I packed them up tonight, 2 huge garbage bags full. A neighbors new husband just started this profession. I asked if he would take them, see if anyone can use them .. The name maybe can be taken off. Any way , it's just uniforms, he hated his job.. I know it sucked so much from him . He counted down all the time till he can retire. So why hang on to them so long. No clue.. Tomorrow they will be gone. Odd feeling letting them go .

Taurus, with the phone number , I don't volunteer it . Last two guys actually gave me their number first . However, it seems all games and trying to figure out what's right . I mistakenly assume when online , we are all in the same boat .. To meet someone.. LOL .. However lately it seems , I'm the only one online that thinks that !

Husband will be gone 4 years this October, 46 had he lived on Wednesday. But today all of a sudden I remembered our first apartment and how we were able to see the fireworks from our balcony . Years before, I remember going to see fireworks with him, no clue who else we went with.. But I do remember asking him if it was ok if I leaned on him on the blanket . Geez .. Such nice bittersweet memories .

You sound like me! I worry too about everything.. I wish you the best and for both of us to figure out how to go with the flow ....

@arneal .. So glad you have a guy your excited about. It's hard to play it cool ! Easy said than done, just try to enjoy it.

Robunknown...I try not to take it personal.. But I only give my number when I feel we have enough in commen, I state on my profile a few messages and then I'd like to meet . Just frustrating. Wish people would be honest !

Please tell me why guys ghost , and I'm not talking on the site .. I have seen that . I mean I've done it to, just lose interest or whatever. Three guys this week , got to the point I gave them my number . First set up date , then never heard back. Second one , actually sparked my interest .. Send me a video on my phone to show he was real .. Real teeth , was funny . He has texted for two days now, no mention of a date or meeting. Last one , texted a few days , I messaged him yesterday , no response. I don't get this ... Isn't the point to meet ? How do you decide after a few texts , nah .???

I have an issue with teeth too, if I can't see teeth in their pictures online.. I'm convinced they have none or are yellow... Lol

So was supposed to have two dates this week.. One ghosted and other fizzled out. I don't want to do this anymore . Make small talk , talk about myself to have them poof . It's tedious, I deleted the dating site I was on, went to try a new one and just don't want to ! I think I'm in need of a break , refocus .. Maybe I'm going about it wrong , I don't know anymore .