First Widow

That was hysterical, thanks Arneal!

Another thank you to Rob. I may have learned more reading that post than I did in some of my college classes. LOL Realizing I've probably done the same "moving too fast and having the wrong kinds of communications via text" with my first online dating adventure so if this doesn't work out I'll be back for Rob's master class.

Good luck with NG2 Semper! I finally got beyond the window shopping phase and put a pic on my profile the other night and it's been entertaining at least. Thanks to whoever mentioned Google image searching because the one guy I did find relatively attractive turned out to be a scamner or a serial online dater because his result came up as scam artist and all he had were bimbos for FB friends. LOL Chatted with another guy last night but he wished me luck when he realized I was an hour away. Will keep at it, if for nothing else than to get more material for the book we're publishing. 8)

Absolutely! I haven't gotten beyond the window-shopping phase of online dating yet, but I still ponder the same questions as I try to imagine anyone being a part of my future. Most of the time I come to the conclusion that I need to reinvent my life first, and then I'll be ready to go beyond window-shopping. Good luck to you.

Hugs to you Helena. I'm at 20 months now and I'm still shocked by how angry I can be with him. My daughter put a candle holder at the cemetery a week after the funeral and grocery shopping last night I passed the candles in the Goya section and had an angry conversation in my head with him, telling him he could get his own damned candles.

Same here, and for the record none of the many magic potions from the drug store have helped. Good luck with your interview TooSoon!

(((HUGS))) I think a part of our brains will always continue to work on solving the puzzle of making sense out of the senseless. I can be having a great time out with friends and suddenly my brain digs up something like that and I'm frozen in horror while trying to keep a smile on my face. The only way I've been able to put these things "away" has been through journaling. It gives me peace for a while until my brain goes on autopilot again.

Oh goodness Momtokam! I don't think I would have been as polite either, although I would appreciate the major heads up.

I don't know how I've never noticed this thread before! Central Mass

Someone here mentioned POF last week and it's the site I've had the most luck with in my area, but I have also attracted my share guys who want to tell me what I'm doing wrong. LOL It makes it easy to weed out the messages...I just block anyone with that attitude.

Hang in there Maureen. You've been my idol since I first came across your posts here on the site. You've even made me consider going back to school myself. I'm excited to see where you land! I'm in about the same position, minus the 7 papers and finals. I've been working for a non-profit for the past year while I get back on my feet after my husband's death, but it's time to start the job hunt and get the house on the market for me as well. It's daunting!

Oh my, momtokam! LOL I'm having a hard time believing anything anyone says to on these sites so this may not work out for me. I finally replied to one guy and in the next message he's asking for my phone number and telling me he is available during the day. : Isn't that code for I'm actually married and don't want my wife to find out?

Thanks for the research Klim! I've been doing my own research the past week with non pic profiles on 4 different sites. I'm convinced some of the messages I got right away were fake members to get me to pay the monthly fee. LOL Match even appeared to like other members for me. Any recommendations on the best site?

(((hugs))) I could have written this myself. I hope it helped you to post this. I had a similar post as few weekends ago and it was really helpful for me.

Thanks everyone. For the most part I keep myself on an even keel, but the past weekend brought me back to the early, unbearable weekends. My son will be home from college the next two weekends since his school does quarters instead of semesters, so that should help keep me distracted. I've been slacking off making plans with friends because I've got a lot to do around here, but I need to remember to schedule some fun time. The favorite food thing is tough. I don't think I've made mac and cheese since he passed away because he loved it but the kids never did.

It's been 16 months since I lost my husband and for the most part I've cobbled together a good life with good friends and a new job, but yesterday I found myself at the cemetery, sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe it was the fact that I had just come from getting a brake job on my car...something he would have done for me; maybe it was just the change of season...we always held a huge Oktoberfest for clients and friends. I'm really not sure what it was. And then this morning, as I opened the bedroom curtains and saw his truck in the drive my first reaction was that he was home. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, except that I'm tired of being strong and just need to acknowledge that I'm human...I know everyone here will get it and it would just totally freak out my friends in town. I don't post often but I wanted to say thanks for being here and giving me hope when I'm having a bad day.

Not a male either, just commiserating! My 18 year old has tried a couple times with similar results. Eventually there's some event or a girl that makes him shave.

AprilRain - I am so very sorry for your loss. My husband took his life in May 2015 with a hunting rifle after a 25 year struggle with bipolar depression. I understand "the shock, the horror, the police, the funeral, the guilt, the guilt, the guilt." It wasn't anything you or I did, or failed to do, it was mental illness that took their lives. For me letting go of the guilt was hard, it meant letting go of the false notion that I could control everything in my life. This site has been so helpful, knowing I'm not alone, knowing others "get it" and seeing how others have been able to not just survive, but thrive. As to the "young" part, I laugh now that I lurked for months before my first post, searching for the age limit. I was so relieved when I found other members who were my age. Hugs!

I haven't traveled solo as a widow yet, but this summer I took the kids to Vermont where my late husband and I went on our honeymoon. It was bittersweet visiting the places I visited with him all those years ago, and I'm glad I took them to see it everything, but I really enjoyed visiting the places we hadn't been to more. Like you, I think I'll probably plan my travel to new places in the future.

My heart breaks for you, your daughter and the whole family. Keeping you all in my prayers.

I've done the very same thing lately and it is shocking.

(((hugs))) Glad you are feeling a little bit better this morning. I spent a lot of time worrying about not letting people down in the first year after my husband passed away...trying to take care of everything both of us once took care of. After the first anniversary, I decided I had to start saying no to some things and concentrate on myself. I hope you can put a getaway with the BF and the kids on the calendar. Hang in there!!

Hugs JG! I am right there with you, so proud of all tasks I've been able to tackle but so sad he's not here doing the jobs that were always his. I might be a little jealous of your hose-mending skills!!

I am so very sorry. (((Hugs))) Prayers for you both.

I am so very sorry. Hugs and prayers for you and your mom.