Momtojandj Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 So he was texting , trying for a day or so. Then went back to he was busy,texting was often nonexistent, not trying... I pulled back . Between not knowing if he really is with the girls he claims are just friends , and me telling him a month ago , I needed more . I was done, told him today. 11 months .. Thought we would be somewhere different now, not with me questioning everything . Told him we can be friends , which I feel like we started to become lately , more than a couple. I'm not going back, he had a few shots. What really made me open my eyes , is a guy I have been friends with for a while , reached out about the same time . Wanting to date me, but was aware of other guy . I got more talking, compassion, sweet words , and overall "courting" of me than I ever got with bf. I realized I deserve more than I got. Going to just recover , and let life happen . Hope what I am looking for is out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 So I add , he's been texting me a lot again . I don't know what he wants from me. I'm being strong ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 So sorry you are going through this. I have got to believe that what we are looking for is out there for all of us. Stay strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I am glad you are able to stay so strong and resolute! abl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Good for you for sticking with what u need and want and moving on from a relationship you aren't completely happy with. That is not easy. The extraction period is hard and I bet he is trying to keep in touch but I personally find the friend zone a difficult place to be after being involved. If you want to move on, feel free to ask him to give you some space maybe? Sometimes the no contact rule, although very hard at first, makes it easier in the end. (Read this in some relationship book and have used it for myself). Your attitude is great and there are endless possibilities out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serpico Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 So I add , he's been texting me a lot again . I don't know what he wants from me. I'm being strong ! Continued texting is going to complicate things, and a clean break usually heals more quickly. Just my advice, but I would tell him you'd rather not have any contact for a set period. If he can't respect that you may need to block him. Good luck, these things suck the big one :-\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunshinedaydreamz Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 It's concerning when someone breaks our trust then wants to be "friends". Although it sometimes hurts like hell to walk away, I would want someone in my life I could turn to for support, and understanding. It doesn't sound like either. I'm sorry, I would move on, respectfully. There are too many people who want to play these games, then say well that's how things are. Playing with people's hearts is wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunshinedaydreamz Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 So I add , he's been texting me a lot again . I don't know what he wants from me. I'm being strong ! Continued texting is going to complicate things, and a clean break usually heals more quickly. Just my advice, but I would tell him you'd rather not have any contact for a set period. If he can't respect that you may need to block him. Like, permanently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIonlycould Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 It is so hard isn't it? Figuring out how people date, how to make our way through new relationships, whether to stay in ones we thought might be the chapter two....sounds like you have made the decision that is right for you. If you just keep feeling there is something not right, then you know what there is something not right....and this too: So I add , he's been texting me a lot again . I don't know what he wants from me. I'm being strong ! He may keep trying to work it out until you are clear you are done (if you are) and will continue to send texts. I agree with previous poster that you may need to not respond and break clean if indeed you do want it to be over. Otherwise you will be one of the "friends" he is texting when he is in his next relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I hope, Momtojandj, that this guy is finally giving you the space you need....hope you are doing ok. Not easy I am sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Captains wife. i have still heard from him, but he is giving me my space. Has asked if he can try harder . told him I need time . All time has done so far, is showed me I can survive without him . Unfortunately, I didn't tell my teen boys that we were not really talking and the older one texted him for help on his car, and he did help him. Was awkward , I stayed away . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunshinedaydreamz Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Has asked to try harder ? Like I am very confused at this statement. Seems you had given it your all, and he's got other interests ? I hope you can widen that space. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I'm so trying . Thank you everyone . Wish I could hug you all. Found out some more things today from his first ex, her and I are friendly . It just confirms what I need .. And that's to run away. However , can't bring her up (promised her I'll keep quiet about her and I talking) and when I talk to him.. He sucks me in .. Has a reason for everything . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunshinedaydreamz Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 You need to run quicker then. Just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Block his number...then he can't call or text. That's the only thing that worked for me...when I finally made the break. Before then the texting, talking...it will lead you nowhere except head and heartache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunshinedaydreamz Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I see a pattern here. Almost like the salesman pitch (what he's doing, meaning open line of communication 101). You are an extremely kind and beautiful person. Enough said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 I have to say , the first 10 months were good. Small issues .. But something changed last 2 months.. Couldn't put finger on it . From what I can gather now , he has a few women friends , uses them , because they like him. Help with money, food, kids etc. hides them from me, when I did catch on .. Says they are just friends , or are crazy or .. You name it. Add in (if that wasn't enough) he doesn't get I need a full relationship.. Where We talk, text.. See each a lot. Check in on each other during day, make time for two of us, sans kids. I know I need to stay away , but last weeks I felt need to explain, or tell him I'm done. That's when he steps up texting and calling .. And I hear But I do a lot for you and your kids.. I'm sure he cares at some level. But not at the level I need. And what have I been used for ? I need to just no longer respond. But that seems so mean . Haven't heard from him again since this am, which is a bad pattern he has pulled recently . My hope is he won't text anymore, but he will . I keep saying... I deserve more ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Sure you still have feelings....and because you do you want to give him the benefit of the doubt. That's why I had to erase his number, all former texts and block him. I forgot his number within days-so I couldn't be tempted to call. It's hard...it's hard when you know he's not what you need but you still care. That's when you have to protect yourself. And break the habit...breaking the habit of him can be just as hard as your true feelings for him. The habit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunshinedaydreamz Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 The block features worked wonders for me. Yes you think about the what ifs and when someone is good to you. But you wrote he changed and the present outweighs the past, at least what I've heard and experienced. When something changes, it usually is the precursor. I only find a similarity because it's exactly what I went through. Until I actually looked up self worth on the web. I put it out at a very early time when I was interested in someone, that I needed a one to one relationship, not being someone's sideline or second choice. There are too many good people out there, and as i get older, not much time to waste. Hoping for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markb74 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 The dating stuff sucks, especially with kids. I will agree with the block the number. You forget about the evil after a while... "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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