Road trip vs. destination vacation

[mmg19]

My 12 year old has been invited by his best friend's family to take a road trip vacation with them covering a lot of the Northeast and staying in a different hotel every other night. All expenses paid.  I know this family well and and am letting him decide if he would rather to this than the week at beach with grandparents.  Grandparents book the same beach house every year and boys love the low key- nothing fancy week.

 

He opted for beach.  He doesn't enjoy road trips and  his friend doesn't either.  The friend's parents came over last night offering inducements to change his mind.  Steadfast No Go on his part but is feeling like he betrayed his friend by turning it down.  Actually the friend asked if he could go to beach with grandparents.  This is not doable for lots of reasons.  Question is ?Do your children like road trips or are my kids just not adventurous and limited in their exposure to the unknown??

[Virgo]

The older my daughters get, the more practical they are. Last year when I mentioned going on a family vacation they all said they would rather add a sunroom onto the house and get a hot tub. "Why spend all of that money on one week when we could put it toward a sunroom and hot tub that we could enjoy all year." I mentioned short weekend stay-cations this summer and they're still not that excited about going. My 16yo just says that she would rather not stay in a hotel. She likes her own bed. That limits us. I don't want to drive to far away if we're not going to stay the night in a hotel.

 

We haven't been on a vacation just the four of us yet. I'm sure their dad not being here to go with us has a lot to do with them wanting to stay home. I will keep asking, but I'm not going to force the issue. I know they will eventually say yes when they're ready. We went on a family vacation every May. Then we would go on little stay-cations during the summer. Maybe to Chicago, Ft.Wayne, or Indianapolis (1-3 hour drive.)

 

 

[mmg19]

Hate it when I second guess myself.  Virgo I agree with you.  The older my boys get the more practical they are and I think that is good.  We talked last night and I realized it was me not my son that was feeling he was missing out on an adventure.  It was not an opportunity for him to enjoy a trip but a need to pacify his friend who did not want to take the road trip his family had planned. 

[Sugarbell]

I think it's the personAlity of the kid.

 

My daughter (7) and I love cheap road trips. We could be gypsies for a month and travel..camp, etc. My 12 year old son hates traveling-Even to the beach (loves the beach hates driving) He's a nervous wreck flying..all of it. His sister thrives on it.

 

My 10 year old is somewhere in the middle. And I find myself thinking "Oh my 12 year old is missing out on being exposed to different places"..

 

But that's me and my feelings... not his. He is happier not going so much. So the right decision for HIM is not going.

 

You're right...

[imissdow]

My girls usually love road trips. However we keep them very short and tend to stay in one place for a day or 2 and then head home. We are campers so we will head to a camp ground and then go exploring the surrounding area. We actually tried a 7 day camping trip at one site and it was so bad we left after day 5. Everyone was bored. However we have been back to the same place 3 times. For us  it was the length of the trip that caused problems. 

 

I have heard of other families that go on a 1-2 week vacation and stay at the same place every year. For us that would never work. 

 

Sounds to me like the parents like road trips and were hoping to get some agreement from their son by offering to take a friend.

 

[mmg19]

imissdow - You are 100% correct.  The parents love traveling,  siteseeing, restaurants, shopping, etc.  The son does not and since my son and their son are very compatible they felt this was a great solution.  DH and I never did road trips with the boys.  We always liked our feet planted at a destination.  Actually many years we stayed home and did fun things when the boys were young that did not involve more than a 2 hr. drive and in our home at night.

 

 

 

 

 

[MissinGrizz]

I just got back from a 10-day road trip with my kids....five hotels ....NY City....Three different Virginia stops, and Philadelphia. We've done a few road trips. We fill them with a variety of activities that kids have some choice in: historic sites, beach, museums, amusement parks, hokey stops, etc. We love them. My 13-year-old wanted to go cross country. Of corse, we have different experiences with our own family than someone else's, and the size of the vehicle matters. But, as others indicate, my daughter seems to enjoy it more than my son, although he was happy to go, he loves home.

 

All kids are different.

[luvmy2babies]

I?ve done both with mine.  Destination trips like the beach and Disney World and we have done trips where we hit multiple stops within a few hours of each other.  Most hotels we have done in one trip is 3 so far.  I love to travel so I introduced travel pretty early after each child was born and fortunately for me, they both enjoy it.  My son is still pretty young so the longest we have driven in a day was 6 hours (from here to Atlanta) with a stop half way for stretching and lunch.  We?re also fortunate in our home state we have both beaches and mountains.  The children love both.  We also do the day trips.  Still want to try cruising again?multiple destinations without changing hotels.  We went on one when my daughter was 4.  Been meaning to do another since my son has been toilet trained; but haven?t yet. 

 

Definitely sounds like the family picked a vacation the child wasn't fond of and hoped getting a friend to come would help.  But from how you describe it, they would just have two unhappy boys on the trip instead of one.

[ieh21]

There are all sorts of ways to be adventurous, trips are only one part of the equation. My daughters love seeing new things, experiencing different situations, but they are the most boringest eaters of all time. And they love their routine, so that even if we're on a trip, we keep the same framework as if we were at home.

 

We've developed over the past 5 years exactly the same trip/vacation pattern: Spring Break in Toronto, one week at the beach in the summer (same family comes with us every year, same beach town), one weekend camping (same place, same people) and one weekend in the mountains (same place). The rest of the time, there's some daycamp but also a lot of time spent with the nanny, exploring our city. That doesn't sound awfully adventurous, but new experiences are had every day, new details discovered and although we haven't done a Big Trip yet, the world is being explored. The driving parts of all of these trips vary from 2 hours-6 hours, so we're on the road a lot, and I have to say that as they are aging, the appeal of the drive has decreased. I fill up boxes with toys and activities, they get to eat junk food all day (that would never happen at home), and after 4 years, the appeal of the Jellybean lunch and new box of Legos seems to have been lost.

 

It sounds like your son knows himself well enough to choose what's comfortable and will be fun. That's what holidays are for!

[mmg19]

Thanks for responses.  I feel so much better than I did when I first posted.  ieh21 - The light bulb went on in my head as I read your response.  My kids like routine, stability, and home.  They go to church camp, science camp, beach with grandparents every year.  They have adventures daily that do not involve travel, spending money, etc. and are happy.  Why was I thinking that they were missing out.  Three lashes with a wet noodle for me.lol

 

 

 

 

 

[hikermom]

Initially my daughter (11 years old) likes and wants what she knows. Her default when asked about vacations is to jump to Acadia and camping in the summer or skiing in Utah in the winter. Both things that we have done a number of times, both things done with her dad. However, she is game for most anything.

 

She'd love a road trip if it didn't involve long hours in the car. We just got back from 2 weeks in China and she generally did fairly well. We are planning a trip to the Azores next year and I hope to get us to Acadia as well. I try to mix it up with old comfortable familiar trips and new places. Her dad loved travel and wanted to show her the world. It is a bigger stretch for me but the more I do it, the more I want her to experience different places and cultures.

 

I think it is very natural and common for kids to want what they know. Particularly our kids who have had so much turmoil in their lives but I like to help my daughter stretch her boundaries a bit. To make the new and different be - if not the norm - at least be good to try. But each kid is their own kid and really you know what works best for your family. Ultimately, I find just having the time away from our routine to be refreshing and rejuvenating. We get into horrible ruts and need time away (big trip or small outing) to hit recharge.