maddalena Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 It's been more than 3 years since my DH died, and like many of us, i have hundreds of pictures of me with him smiling happily ... on facebook. A lot of you know, I am now in a relationship again, with a living man. The other day i decided to go back on my DH's facebook account to look at very old posts of his. I "liked" a couple, and you know what that does? it pops them up on all our friends' feeds, and all of a sudden i was getting dozens of likes of this very nice picture of DH and me. Well, not everyone knows all the details, that's got to be confusing, so, what the heck, I "liked" the photo of me with New Guy. right away, people that do know (including his brother) liked THAT photo. I feel very mixed about this. What, am I pitting New Guy against DH? I do want people to remember, but i also want people to know that i'm not constantly mourning the wonderful man I lost, and that I am happy with my chapter 2 guy... any thoughts, fellow wids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 You reserve the right to "like" any and all photos of DH. You also retain the right not to have to offer explanations for "liking" his pics. Why should you? It should be apparent to your FB friends you still love DH. And you have a Chapter 2, but that doesn't mean you've relegated Chapter 1 to some dark, dusty recess of your mind. Your heart is big enough for both. Now, *that's* love. Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 The people who matter to you will most likely get it...and if they don't...perhaps it is time to not let what they think matter to you. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 It only matters what you and new guy think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 I totally agree with Maureen in theory and look forward to the day that I get there. The reality is that I think for anyone who hasn't been in our shoes it's almost impossible to understand that we can love and miss the one we lost at the same time as we love and appreciate the one we are with. It's hard for me to wrap my own head around some days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddalena Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 you guys make me feel better. it messes with MY head too, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serpico Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 you guys make me feel better. it messes with MY head too, though. I get this. Last month, on the eve of the second anniversary of my wife's accident, some pics from our wedding anniversary came up out of nowhere on everyone's FB feeds. I'm also in a serious relationship, and though I am of course always happy to remember my late wife, the timing made me cringe because to me it implied that I was in a different place than I actually was. So yes, in some ways what other people think - or what we THINK they think - is important to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddalena Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 I get this. Last month, on the eve of the second anniversary of my wife's accident, some pics from our wedding anniversary came up out of nowhere on everyone's FB feeds. I'm also in a serious relationship, and though I am of course always happy to remember my late wife, the timing made me cringe because to me it implied that I was in a different place than I actually was. So yes, in some ways what other people think - or what we THINK they think - is important to us. yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrispy89 Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 I'm sure most of your friends 'like' remembering your DH as well as 'like' seeing you happy with your new guy just as much as you do... Just keep doing what you need to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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