Virgo Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Is that a thing? A social life with kids? I'm beginning to wonder. Frustrating day! I can't even seem to get away to go to the gym during the summer. Mom guilt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DebW Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Social life? What the heck is that? Besides the fact I have to call on family and friends to help during the working week so I don't want to ask for babysitting any more than I have to is the guilt at leaving kids to go out in the evening/weekends. TBH I don't think I would have the energy or inclination to pursue a social life right now but who knows, maybe down the track I might. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Ah - parenthood vs. social life. I get momma guilt but I do try and maintain some social life to keep my sanity. I think im in a slightly easier position as I have one child and I have the assistance of a local nanny. Also, I joined a gym (YMCA) where they have child watch (which costs $2 per hour) and my son really likes going to play with the other kids - I found a really good sitter there I am comfortable with on Sat AM. I do go out once or twice a week (sailing, an early dinner/drinks) but I am home to put my son to bed most times so limit my time out if I do go out. Once in a while I have overnights away where my inlaws are with him so I am lucky as my immediate family doesnt live near by. I have personally found that having adult time outside of all the crap we deal with has helped me, especially pull me out of the funks I get in so I recommend it. I dont have the social life I used to as I want to spend time with my son but getting away once in a while I think is good for one's sanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 I agree! I know I'm a better mom when I make time for myself. It's just difficult for me during their summer break. My daughters are 16, 13, and 8. I actually think it would be easier if they were younger. Then they would be more excited about staying the night with my dad or in-laws, and less focused on what I'm doing while they're gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmg19 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Does this count as a social life? I'm taking a quilting class this fall. I've always wanted to do this and I'm excited that I signed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 My social life has really suffered as I, too, have to rely on grandparents for work related stuff and don't want to overstep. Also, most of my old "friends" want nothing to do with us anymore and my significant other lives across the Atlantic Ocean. The first year I was widowed, I tried to get one weekend overnight a month. Sometimes I just stayed home in my quiet house. Sometimes I met up with some nearby widows in NYC or Philly. Then I started going to concerts alone (love the anonymity of the crowd) which I still do with some regularity. And I identified another friend whose situation is different but similar enough that we can link up occasionally and go out and her husband will watch the kids, eliminating that problem. A regular social life eludes me, especially with the work/parenting/holding this house together trifecta, so arranging for bigger things (going to see an exhibit and staying overnight in the city, e.g.) feels like a real escape from the drudgery. It is so important not to let it completely fall away. We all have to be grown ups, and not just parents, every now and again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imissdow Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 My social life at the moment is on life support. I do get to the gym a couple times a week but outside that nothing. I can't wait for school to start again so I can have a couple of hours free in the afternoon before everyone gets home. Won't really change my "social life" but will make me a nicer person to be around. The couple of people that I do actually socialize are really busy right now also so even if I can find some time I might not be able to find someone to talk to and for me that's really what I need. During the school year I take dance classes, It's fun and about the biggest thing I do regularly a hour of no kids every week and the ladies I dance with are fun. School starts in 3 weeks, the 2 younger ones head off for a week of camp in next weekend. I can do this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 My daughters go back to school Wednesday! I can't believe summer is over already. My in-laws are going to have the girls over all night tomorrow. I'm not going to waste my day cleaning this time. I'm going out even if I'm by myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Oh it's such a juggling act..... This weekend was an example--was supposed to camp and go to a music festival with friends. Got 12 year old to friends house-8 and 10 year kid were going with us. 10 year old gets double ear infection. Friday. He was in lots of pain-my parents offered to keep him-The Mom guilt told me to stay home. I wouldn't have had a good time anyway being worried. So canceled. We are all home. My girlfriends who are divorced and at the festival understand but have never had any concept that I do not get certain weekends off. My guy friend is amazing---80 percent of our dates the kids are with us (dinner, movie, etc)....But some days I need a time out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 This is why I still get annoyed with divorced people who share custody and try to commiserate about being a single parent. It's not the same when you don't get every other weekend kid free. That being said, I have control issues when it comes to my kids and I wouldn't have liked handing them over half the time and having no control of rules and discipline. But every other weekend kid free sounds like bliss some days. I'm down to 1 out of 3 that is too young to be left for me to go out for the evening but the teens pose other issues. Will they have girlfriend over when I'm out? Friends over and drinking or smoking pot? House a disaster and all of my food gone because they have friends over when watching their younger brother? Plus the older 2 have jobs and aren't always available to babysit. Still, I think carving out some adult time is important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Mine is too young to be alone for quite a few years yet so I just budget babysitting in so I get that time. She likes babysitters so I feel no guilt. On Friday I went for a girls night to see the Flaming Lips at a local music festival (her husband watched the girls, theirs and mine), but then we (my girlfriend and I) got up, got cleaned up and took the kids to the music festival for the day today - all kid stuff, all day. I just work hard to make sure we're both getting what we need and quality time together, even if it costs a pretty penny sometimes (a lot of the time). We both benefit from a happy Mommy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I can leave 12 year old in charge for a few hours. Never more than 3 or 4 and they all 3 call me like every 15 minutes. But I am on a tight time schedule when he's in charge and never leave the valley area. I correct every divorced friend (nicely) when they say "Yeah single parenting is tough"....I say "Yeah I am solo-24/7" But they still don't get it...it's ok...glad they don't....But lord I would love to have a little flexibility of adult time without planning months in advance for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmg19 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Trying - made a good point on the issues involved when our children reach the teen years. My boys are 12 and 14 and get along well together so I have no problem with grocery shopping or running errands. Grandparents have been more than generous in keeping them when I'm working and one of them is sick as well as other work related events. An out of town event or a long evening just isn't in the picture unless they are with grandparents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 My brother has two sons by two different women. 16yo and 3yo. He scheduled his time with his youngest to be the same weekend as his oldest, so he would still have every other weekend kid free. Then he was complaining to me about the ONE week this summer that he had his youngest all week. Even some family members just don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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