health issues and bereavement

[Lisa]

I already had many health issues before becoming widowed.  making the transition to a non working person is tough but luckily my husband was here to help me then. Early in my grief I was mostly in bed. I had to ask myself is tnis pain, stress, depression or grief? It was often all. 

I have developed additional health problems since he died.  It is hard not having him pick up my slack in addition to all the other reasons. I dont keep up with all my specialists. It is exhausting. I feel being widowed aged  me fast. But over the last year or so I feel I am losing the gray pallor of widowhood that was in my complexion at least .

 

 

 

[Wheelerswife]

I had the distinct pleasure of developing medical issues 12 days after my second husband John died.  I had medical tests and I had surgery 12 days after his memorial service.  I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer, which was fortunately caught at stage 1.  The cancer itself is chemo-resistive and there is no proven advantage to chemo in stage 1 cancer of this type, so I've been spared that ordeal.  I am followed at what may be the best cancer hospital in the US, MD Anderson in Houston, TX, where physicians are well versed in my type of sarcoma.  Just this week, I went to Houston for my quarterly scans and at this point, I have been free of evidence of cancer for a full year.  I'm trying to be optimistic that I might be one of the few lucky ones that doesn't get a recurrence.  The longer I go with clear scans, the better my prognosis, but this will follow me for life.

[Chopperette]

I have Sjogren's Syndrome and Raynaud's nothing is life threatening there are just conditions that sometimes are very irritating!

 

When it's cold my hands get red, then turn purple and finally white.  Thank God I live in a mild weathered country.

 

[lcoxwell]

I have had migraines, since I was 10 years old and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a little over 11 years ago.  I also have a history of insomnia.  Since Kenneth's death, all of these conditions have been exacerbated to the nth degree, likely due to the fact that stress can make all of these problems worse.  Currently, I am having a number of other health issues, as well, that the doctors are trying to investigate that cause of.  Keeping my fingers crossed that they will find what is wrong soon.

[Lisa]

Welcome

[Lisa]

I can relate.  On top of all this health crap I got my self diabetic. Shouldve heeded those warnings. Im now on long acting insulin. Meds I cant afford  teetering on needing 4x a day insulin.  Doc says not only will i not be able to lose this excess weight on 4x insulin but I will gain.  It  is a growth hormone.

Im in a hell of a battle but I'm stubborn and more willing.  I  may not do great but I can do better. Im determined, doing what passes for my best each day.

Good luck. I hear ya.

[CBB]

I can relate to the health issues. I have had Lupus and Arthritis for 17 years now. I was ill when my husband and I got married and didn't have to work. I had left my former job 5 years prior because I just couldn't do it and my health was going downhill. Well, now he is gone , along with health insurance , and we all know how grief takes it's toll. I couldn't qualify for Disability because of work credits running out and couldn't get widow benefits  because I am not 50 yet. So the saga continues. Or I keel over, whichever comes first.

 

Cyndi

[Bluemoon15]

I have had migraines, since I was 10 years old and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a little over 11 years ago.  I also have a history of insomnia.  Since Kenneth's death, all of these conditions have been exacerbated to the nth degree, likely due to the fact that stress can make all of these problems worse.  Currently, I am having a number of other health issues, as well, that the doctors are trying to investigate that cause of.  Keeping my fingers crossed that they will find what is wrong soon.

 

I, too, was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 14 years ago, six months after my husband was diagnosed with cancer.  He beat it, went on to college and became a deputy sheriff while I struggled to cope with my new limitations.  Since then, I have been diagnosed with numerous other health issues, as well, and stress definitely exacerbates my symptoms.

 

He passed nine weeks ago, and since then my doctor has had to add new medications to help me better manage my symptoms. 

 

It's more than likely that we share other diagnoses, too.  If you ever want to talk, please feel free to message me. 

 

Hugs,

Rebecca

[AndysWife]

I've developed issues of the auto-immune variety and it's flogging me. I'm already quite slim and the doctor wants me to switch to a vegan diet as I can't tolerate the medicines. I'm constantly tired and I have a toddler who is a real handful also. He says that a vegan diet will reduce the symptoms to an almost reversal but I am less than excited about this. No animal proteins are allowed which means booze is out too. I quit smoking in late November and food has become a real obsession so I'm feeling a bit flat at the prospect of this change.

I'm having a flare up this week so I've been extra tired and grumpy too, my left hand and shoulder is especially sore.

 

Back in November I had a tumour (benign) removed from my spine too. I'm still suffering the pain that comes from nerve endings repairing themselves but I can at least relax about the results. It was located smack in the middle of my back so it was impossible to lean against a chair or anything for a long time. When I went to the specialist about it, he booked me into surgery immediately due to the size of it. I don't mind telling you that I was rather afraid when he did that. Anyway, it worked out fine and I now have a new reason to get another tattoo - to cover the scar.

[gracelet]

My stomach stopped being able to process lots of different types of food.  I'd feel sick all the time and throw up on occasion.  I switched to vegetarian and that helped a lot.

 

I have bipolar disorder so it's hard to tell what is grief and what is a depressive episode.  It's just a big jumble. I have suffered extreme psychological distress caused by my wife committing suicide. My bipolar has at times needed treatment in amongst it all, but has not been the sole cause of needing treatment.  I have no history of needing prolonged treatment for bipolar and I have never been treated as an inpatient, but I worry that what I've been through will make my bipolar flair up, especially around anniversaries.  More dangerous, in fact, will be if I get manic.

[Bluemoon15]

I've developed issues of the auto-immune variety and it's flogging me. I'm already quite slim and the doctor wants me to switch to a vegan diet as I can't tolerate the medicines. I'm constantly tired and I have a toddler who is a real handful also. He says that a vegan diet will reduce the symptoms to an almost reversal but I am less than excited about this. No animal proteins are allowed which means booze is out too. I quit smoking in late November and food has become a real obsession so I'm feeling a bit flat at the prospect of this change.

I'm having a flare up this week so I've been extra tired and grumpy too, my left hand and shoulder is especially sore.

 

I feel your pain!  My autoimmune journey started in early childhood, beginning with three illnesses that literally caused my body to stop growing.  The third one landed me in the hospital for a month with my heart enlarged three times its normal size, and my childhood was filled with challenges.  At 21, I had mononucleosis and had to take a leave from nursing school, because it was a six-month recovery.  I would get every virus or sniffle that blew by me until I became pregnant with my son.  Mother's immunity kicked in for ten years before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and a host of other autoimmune problems, including what they call a "non-celiac gluten sensitivity".

 

I have leaned that diet is SO very important in managing autoimmune disease.  It can be a challenge, too, because a lot of what we are supposed to eat is grossly expensive.  Sadly, one has to read every label, even the gluten free products, because other offenders, such as lactose, gmo, nuts, etc., can be lurking.  Please message me if you ever want to vent or compare notes.  I have learned more from other patients than I ever have from the medical community.

 

Blessings,

Rebecca

[Bluemoon15]

I have Sjogren's Syndrome and Raynaud's nothing is life threatening there are just conditions that sometimes are very irritating!

 

When it's cold my hands get red, then turn purple and finally white.  Thank God I live in a mild weathered country.

 

 

I have Sjogren's Syndrome, too, and for awhile they thought I had Raynaud's as well.  I live in PA, and when the weather is cold, I can't go into a grocery store without gloves or my fingers will be numb for hours.

 

How was your Sjogren's diagnosed?  Mine presented with a series of symptoms culminating with a blocked salivary gland that caused my face and neck to swell up like I had the mumps!

 

I have found that the Act Dry Mouth Rinse works in place of regular mouthwash, and I use a small spray thoughout the day that's made by Biotene.  My eye doctor recommended natural tears only for the chronic dry eye.  He's not convinced that Restasis is the way to go and neither do I.  It hasn't been out that long, so I just don't trust it.

 

I hope this helps.

Blessings,

Rebecca

 

 

[Carey]

Ive started having all kinds of health issues too and I actually worry that it makes me even more "unattractive" and will detract from ever finding someone else.  Right now, my left leg is so swollen and grotesque, I feel like an Elephant. Ive had BP issues in the past and heart rhythm issues, had a cath, etc. I am also short of breath so I pray this isn't a CHF thing starting to manifest because I frankly don't have the $35 for a doc visit right now. 

[Bluemoon15]

I have had migraines, since I was 10 years old and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a little over 11 years ago.  I also have a history of insomnia.  Since Kenneth's death, all of these conditions have been exacerbated to the nth degree, likely due to the fact that stress can make all of these problems worse.  Currently, I am having a number of other health issues, as well, that the doctors are trying to investigate that cause of.  Keeping my fingers crossed that they will find what is wrong soon.

 

I, too, have fibromyalgia and my symptoms went through the roof for the first month or so.  Now at nine weeks out, they are a little better, but only because my doctor made some medication changes to help me get through this.

 

I never had insomnia before (the one fibro symptom that skipped me) until after my husband passed.  Since I was also having panic attacks, & one of the meds my doc ordered was a low dose of lorazepam, I still use it now for sleep.  After he put me on Abilify to work with my Cymbalta, I was also doing better during the day and the panic attacks stopped.  If you are over 40, Melatonin can also help you with your insomnia.  It takes about a month to kick in, but after being on it for two weeks, I was able to cut my lorazepam dose in half.

 

Sometimes I think migraines might be added to that auto-immune stress factor, because mine started just a few years before I was diagnosed with the fibro, and I've had a steady succession of other auto-immune diagnoses since.

 

It's double whammy having fibromylagia while grieving, & fibro fog and widow brain combined is a whole new low, isn't it?  I don't know your situation, but please take care of yourself first, before trying to take care of anyone else.  Sometimes, I have to remind people who depend on me that I can't take care of them unless I take care of me.  Period.  They don't always like it, but until I see my shoes on their feet, they simply have to deal with it. 

 

Blessings,

Rebecca

 

Since both my husband and I were chronically ill for many years, the stress just kept mounting, and a litany of new diagnoses surfaced.

[Lisa]

http://www.everydayhealth.com/news/how-grief-can-make-you-sick/

[Guest Munsen]

I agree that grief can make you sicker. My blood pressure was very high for the first two years after hubby's death but has since subsided to my old norms. They've had more trouble regulating my thyroid as well. I just think it is part of the whole shock to our system that spousal grief causes.

 

I also believe that my distraction and lack of concentration led to my broken leg which also seemed to take forever to heal. Now I'm having all sorts of tummy issues that the doctor is trying to figure out....sigh. With three siblings diagnosed with cancer in the last ten years, it is concerning but hopefully its nothing serious.