CJF Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Today would have been 24 years for us. We made it to 19. Of everyone I talked to today, only one person mentioned it. That really bothered me. I am sure most of my friends/family either have forgotten, or think they shouldn't bring it up, but I think it hurts more when people don't talk about him. Besides that, I am ok. I have certainly come a long way these past 4 1/2 years. Just wanted to put this out there to people who understand. Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Thinking of you. I have always felt that wedding anniversaries are really only for the two people involved - I never remember anyone else's anniversary except my parents' and don't expect anyone to remember ours. That being said, or perhaps because of this, it is strange to me that I am the only one in the world for whom the date means something, the only one who will ever mark it. Very little else can trigger such intense feelings of loneliness. I do understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I understand, too. This past year was my first anniversary without my Kenneth, and I think the only people who even knew or recognized it were people here. Some of my family knew, but didn't bring it up, because they were worried it would make me sad. I agree with you, though. I think it hurts more, when no one will talk about him. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and that I can commiserate. Happy anniversary! On a side note, congratulations on making it together for 19 years. That is a major accomplishment, especially when so many marriages are falling apart these days. I truly admire those couples who find the wherewithal to weather the storms of life and who honor there wedding vows by staying together, through it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIonlycould Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I think maybe it is this: I am sure most of my friends/family either have forgotten, or think they shouldn't bring it up, but I think it hurts more when people don't talk about him. On my anniversary this year no one called or acknowledged, I am 7 years out so I think maybe people have forgotten or don't mention it because maybe they think it would be inappropriate. I finally texted my mother in law and said "Thirteen years ago today I became your daughter in law." She texted back "Thirteen years ago today you became our daughter and you always will be." I have found often with people if we open the door they are ready to acknowledge our life with our late spouses that just didn't know if they should. I truly, truly wish you could have had 19 more times 2....I wish we all could have....(((((HUGS))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Hugs (((CJF)))....I really do understand how you feel. Sunday would have been my 23rd....we made it to 20 years plus 8 days. We were also married on a Sunday, this made it worse for me somehow. No one said anything either, probably no one remembered. The kids and I were out of town for my daughter's soccer tournament. They won! A great distraction for sure! Yes, I guess we are moving on and are OK at almost 3 years out. It's just really hard to truly get that this is our new reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJF Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 Thank you all for the replies. I guess it's not so much that nobody mentioned it, but more so the fact that most people do not mention ANYTHING about him any more. I guess I just notice it more on the "trigger" days. I truly wish none of you knew how this feels, but it sure is nice to know I am not alone. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I guess it's not so much that nobody mentioned it, but more so the fact that most people do not mention ANYTHING about him any more. That's the hard part. It's great to come here to talk about grief, but there's something about talking about THEM with people who knew them. Losing that over time, it just plain sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 It's crazy isn't it. They knew and supposed loved him too. Why don't they want to talk about him? WTF? I always want to talk about him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I can't imagine not talking about him. He was there by my side for my entire adult life, I have no past without him. Plus there're so many damn funny stories about him that need to be told and retold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear Tomás Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 (((bear hugs))) Our 35th will be soon. We almost made it to 25. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 CJF... Would've been 25 for us this year, we also made 19. Kinda stinks we never hit that "20" mark... Happy Anniversary {{{HUGS}}} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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