Opinion on suicide prevention

[keeptrying]

I'm curious about everyone's opinion on this suicide prevention deal. Wear orange, donate money, walks...  I would like that it would help prevent suicides but I can't see that happening. Maybe I am not educated enough on the matter but to me it seems useless.

[WifeLess]

keeptrying,

 

I agree with you. After reading on the organizers' websites about the events that were scheduled for World Suicide Prevention Day, I was left wondering what all that has to do with actual suicide prevention. Although it may raise public awareness, a worthy goal, that is not the primary problem. In 90 percent of cases, mental illness is the problem. I fail to see how those activities would lead to successful treatments or cures of depressive and other such illnesses. Perhaps I am wrong, but even the donations collected seem to mostly support suicide awareness programs rather than research into psychiatric disorders. So I gave it all a pass.

 

--- WifeLess

[widowat33]

I think maybe the aim is to raise awareness about suicide and to educate people. There is such a stigma surrounding suicide, that fortunately is getting better, however there are those out there who still don't understand how complicated it is.

I actually did a presentation on suicide prevention for my mental health and addiction course. Every situation is so unique, but I personally feel that it is very hard to prevent suicide, just as it's hard to prevent accidents, cancer, etc.. Yes there are things we can do to lessen the risk of all of the above, but to totally prevent it, I don't think so.

Wifeless I totally agree with you, it is a mental illness and so many people fail to recognize it as such.

 

[Sugarbell]

I think those doing prevention work with AFSP...the walks, etc...Are doing it more for themselves to heal...to feel like the loved ones death had a purpose. I can tell you from experience they get very over zealous in their effort.

 

Does Iit prevent suicides? Nope. (They would beg to differ)...Does it raise awareness and reduce the stigma? Possibly in some cases but not all.

 

Personally I have always felt more called to reach out and help the survivors. Those living day by day after suffering such a loss. Prevention no...not my thing (although for several years early on I raised tons of money for the walks--but looking back it was for my healing..)

 

Those that do it (prevention) truly feel like they are saving lives....-In my opinion they really aren't...but USUALLY it's a positive way to handle their grief.

 

I am a little annoyed with all the prevention talk going on where I live right now so my opinion might be biased. I see a lot of ego also involved.

[Bear Tomás]

I'm not sure if anything short of locking a person up in a padded cell can "prevent" suicide? However, medication can help with the dark stranger.

[Portside]

I'm curious about everyone's opinion on this suicide prevention deal. Wear orange, donate money, walks...  I would like that it would help prevent suicides but I can't see that happening.

 

What a brave question to ask! By way of a bit of history, my late wife killed herself. She was bi-polar (with touches of ADHD) and suffered from depression, as I look back, for most of her life.

 

We were lucky in that we had great insurance and had access to any type of help that was available - psychotherapy, medication, multiple psychiatric evaluations, inpatient treatments (both voluntary and involuntary), all sorts of medical interventions, homeopathic and traditional Oriental medical practices. Finally, a huge support system from both her community and her family was available to her. No one ever gave up on her. We tried everything and changed treatments as circumstances dictated for years.

 

But, ultimately, it wasn't enough. One weekend while I was camping with the kids, she died by a self-inflicted GSW to the chest. 

 

I kept all my rifles and sidearms locked in a very good gun safe all the time. But it didn?t matter. My lovely wife broke into a neighbor?s garage, stole his oxy-acetylene cutting outfit and dragged it home. She taught herself how to use the equipment effectively (not an easy thing to do) and, according to the manufacture of the gun safe, took two days to cut her way into it. She then took a very difficult gun to load and shoot and taught herself to use it.

 

While the coroner was at the house attending to the aftermath, I was beside myself telling him ?I never should have had the weapons around.? He sat me down and explained that in his forty years of medical practice and service as a coroner, he was convinced none of that mattered. A person truly committed to taking their life will always eventually succeed. They do not need an easy method close by to do it. If necessary, a person will use anything close by ? a sharp stick and a rock or a car and a tree will do the job if that?s what is available.

 

However, having said all that, I don?t think we as a society should stop looking for answers and/or help to cure those who are suicidal. Just as there are millions of folks, there are millions of reasons, situations, mental states, medical issues, brain chemistry factors, personality types and individual demons any one of which that can contribute to a loved one committing suicide. Maybe some treatments or approaches will cure some causes of suicide someday. Why not try to find them? But I doubt we will ever discover them all. 

 

So I?m left with; Did I do all I could for my late wife? Yes. Did I contribute to her death? No. Could I have stopped her? No.

 

My wife was a very driven woman in all she did. She succeed in most all she attempted - even when the outcome was sure to be a tragedy.

 

btw ? my wife had loaded the gun with four cartridges. My two sons and I were 3 hours late getting home. She got tired of waiting but regardless, someone was going to die that day.  :'(

 

Mike

 

 

 

 

[Sugarbell]

Port side-Thank you for posting!

 

I am been secretively very aggravated with WV new AFSP organizers. With all the prevention talk and how they can make a world without suicide through prevention. I do not speak my thoughts because I don't want to be a Debbie Downer for the cause...but inside I am thinking "WTF??"....

 

And I think everyone situation is so individual and unique. Both of these over zealous activists lost a sibling over 20 yrs ago while the sibling was still in high school...And yes...in SOME cases with teenagers prevention in bullying/cyber bullying/discussion about warning signs may help some teenagers. But it insults me that they think the needs to a 15 year old kid (whose brain and decision making skills aren't even fully developed) is the same as a middle age man or woman with a long term mental illness or addiction problem or physical ailments or major stressors in life that they can't cope with. If I hear one more "Be there and talk..end the silence...end suicide"...I think I might go Appalachia on someone.

 

This isn't something that you can make a one size fits all. When I tell a select few about my late husbands legal troubles/half a million dollar fine he was facing and prison time....Half the people I tell it too have said "Damn...yea I do get that"--all brought on though by his own addictions and spending habits (another can of worms).

 

Wish you were here and could tell your story to our over zealous activists. I think they need a reality check.

 

(

[AndysWife]

In Australia, one organisation called Beyond Blue, is now running programs to teach life skills, correct thinking processes and coping strategies to adults and older teens who live with addiction and or chronic depression with a view to launching this program in high schools also. This was launched on World Suicide Prevention Day and I couldn't be happier about it.

 

I don't think those who had mental illnesses could have been prevented but people who fit the above might have a chance now.. only time will tell I suppose.

[THATgurl]

I am really glad to see you all talking about this.  As one of those "off people" who tends toward suicidal AND as the survivor of suicide, I really don't feel that this topic can be discussed enough to satisfy me personally.  I also randomly have a murder-suicide in my "extended family".

 

FLAT OUT - your orange shirt will not prevent me from feeling unworthy of existence.  Nor will anyone's donation, marching in a group activity etc. 

 

What is the benefit?  Increased understanding and awareness.  Understanding, awareness and a common ground - that is the goal.  That is why everyone dumped ice water on their heads, right?  Imperfect world, imperfect solutions.  Hopefully we get closer to the goal - common understanding.

[THATgurl]

Offshoot but related topic here - I AM a suicidal person.  In the past, I have not been in a place to discuss that coherently.  I am currently eyes wide open and well aware and am happy to discuss this issue publicly or privately.  Feeling unworthy of life is not an easy thing to discuss.  But I think we as a society need to if we hope to help that segment of society.

 

ETA young widows are clearly and undeniably disportionally impacted by this issue.

ETA2 - y'all old timers know this is a rare and unusual window, so manage your time wisely before I fly back round the looney bend

 

[Freelancing]

Three years ago while my daughter was still in high school the counselor recommended she go lay down in her office whenever she had suicidal thoughts. This bright idea was provided to the counselor by the school district's psychologist.

My therapist asked what I thought she should have recommended.

Geez, I guess they never heard of 911.

[RobFTC]

This stuff is in my thoughts again.  One of the girls' good friends has been rocked in the last week or so - her middle-school-aged brother got into his Dad's gun safe and pointed a gun at himself.  This was out of the clear blue.  He did not complete, 911 happened, and he spent some time in a facility to get his "mental broken bones" splinted.  This is a family that I really like from what I have seen, the girls have spent nights over there, parents seem awesome, the friend has been here and is a sweet and fun Disney-sparkly girl.  It reminds you that it can happen to anyone.  I am planning that when I see any of them, I can treat them the same way I always have while opening a channel to talk about the suicide in my family to let them know I can go there, because probably not that many will.  Also proud that there's no damned guns in this house.

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Guest TheOtherHalf]

Hello,

 

I feel that suicide prevention is effective up to a point. I think in most cases people will reach out up to a point, but when that point has been passed, it's useless.

 

I got passed the point myself, and this was prior to suffering the worst depression of my life, which hit on my late husband's (who suicided) birthday this summer. When that happened, I began behaving the way most people past the point of no return behave. Suddenly full of energy and drive because I had my escape and a brilliant execution plan.

 

People will often think their loved on has gotten better when they suddenly seem better, but usually that's when it's too late.

 

Honestly what got me to stop was that still small voice in my head - ridiculing me for the first time ever. I guess it let me know that I would not be welcome on the other side at this point and I felt somewhere deep inside myself that suicide would not be an escape for me. That it was best for me to stay and face everything and I did. Then AFTER that, the worst depression of my life hit, and it never once occurred to me to end it. But I did spend three months in bed, and nothing used to keep me in bed, short of some nasty flu.

 

Long answer, but I believe in the majority of the cases prevention is useful because most people reaching out for help aren't ready to end it yet.