Guest TooSoon Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 So, in my effort to be more present as a Mom who does more than work and bark orders in an attempt to keep our lives organized and functioning, I joined the PTA. The first big event, "Fall Barnyard Festival," (don't even get me started on the last minute barnyard animal costume we had to conjure out of thin air on Tuesday night for Wednesday's pep rally) was tonight and I volunteered. I figured I'd buy M some tickets and she could run around while I did whatever I was assigned to do. I was assigned to man the "Lollipop Pumpkin" game. Kid picks lollipop; if it has a black spot on the bottom of the stick, kid gets prize; everybody gets a lollipop. No instructions were provided, so I thought simple, right? Evidently not. So its freezing cold and I'm outside in the dark, successfully administering lollipops and prizes to the children (with no clue, of course, as to the whereabouts of my own child). There were extra lollipops under the table but no sharpie so I borrowed a sharpie from the pumpkin decorating table and would alternately replace lollipops with blank and marked ones. Things were going along fine, or so I thought until....a CRAZED woman with a bull horn (yes, she had a bull horn) sees the Sharpie and goes ballistic. "WHAT are you doing?! You're not putting marks on lollipops are you?!" I was like well, yeah. She continues, "But there were 62 prizes and 62 marked lollipops. I counted them out! Now we don't know how many there are and there won't be enough prizes!" So I said, "Well, if I run out, I'll just get some prizes from the bean bag toss next door; they have a ton of prizes." And she said, "Well, my husband is coming to replace you just as soon as I find him." Several minutes pass. I keep giving out prizes and lollipops, incredulous. Then she comes back and asks me to explain exactly what I have done so that she can understand (WTF?!). I explain. She sits down in a chair next to me and looks up my name on her volunteer list and then checks with me to make sure she's got my name right. Then she goes over to the pumpkin decorating table and brings one of the high school kids over from the Key Club and says he will be replacing me (replaced by a high schooler whose lollipop pumpkin game skills must have been more finely honed). Cool as a cucumber, she simply says, "So, when the prizes run out just get some from the bean bag toss." Holy smokes, it was insane! My mother said I should have said, "I'm sorry they didn't teach me how to run the Lollipop Pumpkin game when I was getting my PhD." Snarky, yes, but honestly?! Having been a volunteer coordinator on lots of presidential campaigns, I get how hard it is to be the one responsible but what I really wanted to do was tell her how many prizes I gave to kids whose lollipops didn't have marks on them because I couldn't stand when 2 and 3 year olds looked so crestfallen........ Can't wait to volunteer at Santa's Secret Shop in December......I suspect my assignment to be a serious demotion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Oh man! Sorry for such a shitty night, but your post made me laugh! Thank you for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Glad you got a laugh; that's how it was intended. I almost started laughing while it was happening but she was already apoplectic and thought it unwise. Bizarro! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Jesus Lol! You're right you are in Stepford too!!!😀😙😝 I am proud of you for doing it!!!i just can't....it's the same way here!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Girl Scout parade last weekend and Lollypop pumpkins this weekend. You go girl!😎😇👀 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 She also wigged out on a friend of mine who is raising four girls, two of whom have serious special needs and said, "You're running the miniature golf ALONE?! You can't handle this alone!" and my friend had a similar response. We had a good laugh. Complete inability to see big picture -- kids happy, school raising thousands of dollars, event running just fine. I was going to say this has nothing to do with my being widowed but maybe it does. Maybe my ability to see the big picture and not sweat the small stuff (ok, most of the time) is what Mrs. Lollipop Pumpkin Game Bull Horn Control Freak can't see. I would not switch places. Not ever. This week the Brownies are going on a tour of the hospital, the last place M saw her father alive. I cannot be there and I am already anxious for M but I have to let her deal with it on her own no matter how much I want to be there with her, I can't because I have to work. THAT feeling is what Mrs. Lollipop Pumpkin Game Bull Horn Control Freak doesn't understand, or at least the events of this evening certainly point to that......but who knows what her story is, right? We all have one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fern Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 OMG TooSoon. Your post made me laugh out loud! I so relate! Hats off for joining the PTA. Our school requests 2 parent volunteers every morning for kindergarten With only 18 kids in the class, it's been painfully obvious that I am not pulling my weight. I felt so guilty that as soon as my recent contract finished (high pressure Hollywood job), I volunteered for 3 days in a row, the school trip to the harvest "faire" and the halloween carnival tomorrow (gulp). The whole time I feel like I'm doing it wrong (and I can't help analysing the whole system as another example of unpaid female labor). I don't care though, it makes Bean so happy that I'm there. I'll try to keep it up until my next job starts and I disappear again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Controlling PTA moms in suburbia are the same everywhere! with 3 kids I was at the same elementary school for 14 years and saw moms come and go who needed to be in control. I went from stay at home mom, to working partime to working full time to working and being widowed. It's good for our kids to see us volunteer and get involved in their school so, like you I tried to just laugh off the level of craziness that some moms brings to organizing these things. I have to admit doing a little happy dance at my very last ice cream social! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Controlling PTA moms in suburbia are the same everywhere! with 3 kids I was at the same elementary school for 14 years and saw moms come and go who needed to be in control. I went from stay at home mom, to working partime to working full time to working and being widowed. It's good for our kids to see us volunteer and get involved in their school so, like you I tried to just laugh off the level of craziness that some moms brings to organizing these things. I have to admit doing a little happy dance at my very last ice cream social! Yes! This!! With my oldest....when he was in 1st/2nd grade I tried...Did school carnival, volunteered when I could. I think I would rather poke my eyes out with a pencil than deal with the over the top controlling...Mom shaming PTA gurus. Then they get mad and talk about each other...both on social media and around town. (last week about 5 of them got pissy over the pumpkin/character project the 2nd graders did. I stay away now from all of it (amazingly I don't get talked about-outta sight outta mind). I am proud of you though for suffering thru the torture for your daughters benefit. Hats off to you TS!😊 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 :Oh the Santa Shop!!!! I did it once....always a few good cat fights/arguments during that week. Just giving you a heads up!😜 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 The insane irony (and irony isn't strong enough) of all of this is that contrary to all of my intentions and efforts from ages 17-30 to get as far away from this town as possible and never come back, I wound up back here, widowed, one mile from the house I grew up in where my parents still live, and my daughter is not only going to the same elementary school I went to but the one where my own Mother (who many of you will remember from ywbb) initiated the flipping Santa Secret Shop back in like 1978 for which I will now be volunteer non grata. Life is strange. Can I move to Philadelphia now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Argh, get out of there! I thought I lived in Stepford but I don't think anyone here would be so uncouth. Kudos to you for taking this stuff on...and then shrugging the insanity off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmy2babies Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Ah, I'm not alone. Can someone say "Book Fair". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 If they start that shit on you with the Santa Shop (and whomever is in charge is almost always a control freak in this Stepford...I would make the PHD snarky comment your Mom suggested. Seriously.....they need a reality check. And it's passive/aggressive of me I know...but I love subtlety intimidating the PTA gurus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Awesome post - and good for you for getting involved ! There are some insane parents out there- I have encountered some "lovely" married women in my small town at these parent meet ups and it makes me want to crawl back in my widow hole. The best one was a women telling me that she hated her husband and the only reason she stayed married to him was to get help with her kids. Really ? Nice for you honey.... And the bossiness of some of the parents at these events - yes, feel free to give back a back-handed comment next time...with a big smile on your face ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Gonna be the Mommy with the travel mug of wine at trick-or-treat tomorrow night.....it is a promise! My college roommate laughed so hard when I told her I'd joined PTA that I thought she was going to choke. She said that if I'm not already blacklisted for the marked/unmarked lollipop prize debacle I definitely will be after Santa's Secret Shop, as the seriousness of these things ramps up exponentially at Christmastime (she would know - she's a mom of three in the uber-burbs)). Hey, at least I didn't take the wine filled travel mug to Barnyard Fest, right? That's worth something.....no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fern Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 hahaha I'm totally bringing wine in my travel mug to go trick or treating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Moms with mugs! I see a revolution in the making! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imissdow Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Sounds like you handled yourself with more grace and class then I did in similar situations.I seem to recall looking at the cookie mom at one point and making some sort of comment about her believing a 5yo over a grown adult. I swore it was over after that and I now volunteer in areas that keep me away from the masses. Hope your travel mug helped. I got out of trick or treat this year and consider myself lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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